


Are We or Aren't We?

by SketchGurlie



Category: Graceland (TV)
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-06
Updated: 2016-07-20
Packaged: 2018-03-21 13:57:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 30
Words: 53,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3694907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SketchGurlie/pseuds/SketchGurlie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Multi-chap sequel series to "I Put a Spell on You". The thing between Mike and Johnny. Spoilers from all the seasons including 3 when it starts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

A hurried knock on Johnny’s door wakes him up around 1 am.

He knows because it says so on the digital clock glowing a blinding, bright green on the desk across the room. He lifts his head and exhales in frustration after reading the clock.

Johnny wished that the glowing numbers were lying to him, because that would mean he’d been only passed out for about an hour. He was _trying_ to sleep off this 30-hour shift of undercover work. It wasn’t the Carlito case, praise _Jesus_ (because 30 hours with him _again?_ ) but another side case the FBI wanted him to solve by _today_. When the bureau says today, they meant it or else. So what you have another thing going on yada yada yada. _Get it done_.

Even though Johnny finished everything up today, the whole thing was a two weeks operation.

In other words, whoever it was on the other side of the door better have a _helluva_ good reason for doing what they are doing right now.

Johnny pushes the covers off and make his way towards the door. The knocking continues in a louder manner the closer he gets. This irritates Johnny, he hopes it shows on his face for whoever this jerk is.

His frown instantly turns into a relieved grin when the opened door reveals the culprit disturbing his sleep.

“Ayeee!! Mikey!”

“Hey Johnny,” Mike greets. He  looks a little sleepy but a small smile occupies his face too. “Can I come in?”

“Sure, yeah.”

Johnny opens the door a few inches more to let Mike in. He doesn’t even care what Mike’s reasoning may be for vising, Johnny is just glad that he is. He hadn’t seen Mike in days upon _days_. Not even in passing at the house. The Solano case and other side things kept the two apart. And not only that, it’s also been about two weeks since they had their _thing_. There was no sort of closure or even continuance to it. It basically stopped when Charlie stumbled upon the two of them that day. They hadn’t seen each other since oddly enough. Somehow someway Johnny was able to complete this side case for the bureau with Mike heavy on his mind, shockingly enough.

The two faced each other in the near darkness silently for a few minutes letting their own exhaling do the communicating. Johnny notices that Mike is wearing a short sleeve shirt and long jogging pants contrasting to his own boxers.  He can also see Mike’s eyes flicking up and down his body appreciatively.

“You still sleep with your shirt off?”                                                                                                                            

“Um, yeah."

“Huh, I didn’t know that,” Mike muses. He closes the door gingerly behind himself so as to not alert their neighbors. “Good to know.”

The tone Mike is using sends tingles in the right and wrong areas of Johnny’s body. The fact that Mike has a not so hidden level of amusement in his voice makes it even worse. Mike could ask him anything right now and Johnny intended to dive in headfirst. Not to mention, based on the shirt comment, Mike’s been keeping track of what he wears or doesn’t wear to sleep since he’s first lived at Graceland. Which mean Mike’s interest in him was from _wayyy_ back. Johnny wondered why didn’t he ever say anything? Maybe he did, but Johnny concludes that he wasn’t paying enough attention probably.

 Mike moves closer into the room as Johnny moves backwards a little. Mike’s eyes are seeing every movement even though the room is emanating a midnight blue. Although there is a small amount of light piercing through the room, Johnny can still make out the predatory half grin, which always drives him out of his mind, on Mike’s face.

“Heh, yeah,” Johnny mumbles, moving backwards a little again to accommodate Mike inching closer again. “You, uh, you good?” He crosses his arms awkwardly as he hears Mike chuckling quietly.

Johnny immediately feels one of Mike’s hands glide up his bicep before trailing up to his neck, stroking a thumb on it gently. Afterwards, he lets his hands rest downwards on Johnny’s hips.

“Yeah, I’m good.” Mike brushes a soft and lingering kiss to the corner of Johnny’s mouth. Johnny sighs into it fully, closing his eyes as he places his hands on the small of Mike’s back.

He missed this.

He missed Mike. Whether Mike was touching him or anything else in between. Even if Mike didn’t kiss him, just one look and conversation would have done Johnny in. Made his day, let alone his entire week. He missed his boy so much. Based on what Mike was doing now, it was safe to assume he felt the same way.

Mike begins sucking on Johnny’s bottom lip as his fingers caressed the waist he held. Johnny moans attempting to reciprocate the gesture, but is stopped when Mike backs away and releases Johnny from his grasp as if he just remembered something.

“Sorry,” Mike sighs again, while looking down. “I really came here to talk-”

“So…talk,” Johnny interrupts smartly. He rapidly pulls Mike by the front of his shirt to aim his lips towards Mike’s mouth. Mike however turns his head so Johnny’s mouth ends up underneath his jaw instead.

Eh, good enough.

“I can’t, if you-” Johnny feels Mike intake a breath, so he kisses slower down his neck for another response. “-you’re doing that _John-_ ” He lets out a harsh moan which makes Johnny smile. It was nice to see Mike be on the receiving end of being made to squirm under tongues and kisses.

“Paige know about that spot?” Johnny murmurs, as he pecks at Mike’s mouth now. “Or is she still tryin’ to figure your body out?”

Mike exhales a long breath, and shrugs Johnny off whilst looking squarely into his eyes. “What does she have to do with us right now?”

Johnny runs a hand over Mike’s hair to ruffle it playfully. Mike jerks his head away in an irritated fashion at the contact. Guess he hit a sore spot. Johnny wonders if he’s going too far with the next line, “You guys havin’ a lovers spat or whatever?” 

“John, what does it matter?” Mike studies the dim room, but not really looking for or at anything in particular. Johnny can tell he’s getting fidgety, so he rests a hand on Mike’s cheek then moves it to the back of his neck to calm him.

Mike just sighs again. He closes the space between him and Johnny to rest their foreheads together. Johnny rewards the contact by kissing Mike’s lips gently every so often. Their bodies gave the idea of swaying to music unheard to anyone else besides the two of them.

“You sure you good bro?” Johnny asks again, low and steady between subsequent kisses. “You did just wake me up out of one hour sleep…from the 29 hours of sleep I haven’t gotten yet. At 2 am-“

“You’ve been busy with Carlito that whole time?”

“Hell _no_ ,” Johnny chuckles low in relief before continuing to smooch on Mike. He sensed a hint of jealousy in Mike’s tone and wanted to clear the air a bit. “Some other thing the Bureau wanted wrapped by tonight.”

“So, _that’s_ why you were gone for a long time.”

“You sayin’ you missed me Mikey?”

“No, not really. I got more work done than usual,” Mike jokes, earning a light punch from Johnny to his stomach.

“Jerk. If that was true you wouldn’t be all up on me right now,” Johnny leans in to kiss Mike again.  He grabs Mike by his shoulders to deepen the kiss for a few more moments. “Speakin’ of which…Chuck knows.”

Mike sighs and then shrugs. “No secrets at Graceland.”

That certainly wasn’t the reaction Johnny was expecting.

“Yeah, well, it’s your fault though. She found out ‘cause you left a friggin’ hickey on me the other day man-”

“I didn’t hear any complaining when I left it. If I remember correctly, you could barely talk because you liked it so much.” This sends a chill up Johnny’s spine. To make matters worse, Mike is giving him that wolfish expression again. “Maybe…I should leave another one-”

“Nah, I should put one on you this time.  So _you_ can parade around here with my mark on _you_ -”

Johnny didn’t have that tough of a time keeping the hickey hidden truth be told. It was moreso avoiding the knowing glances Charlie threw in his direction when she noticed he wore his hoodie more than usual around the house. With that in mind, the idea of just taking his sweet time sucking on parts of Mike’s skin to leave a visible mark bode with Johnny just fine.

“Oh wait, I forgot I have to tell you someth-“

“Nah, get on the bed. I don’t wanna hear it.”

“What?”

“On the bed. We don’t have all night Mike.”

The sound Mike makes is between a laugh and a question. Johnny responds to it by taking both of Mike’s hands in his and leading him to the bed, walking backwards. He can feel the skepticism through Mike’s fingers.

When the two land on the bed Johnny lays Mike on his back while he hovers on the left flank of him. Mike looks serious, as does Johnny. They don’t speak for a while.

“You’re serious about leaving a mar-?”

“As a heart attack, yeah.” Johnny smirks as he lightly pats Mike’s cheek. He takes Mike’s chin between his fingers.

“Fine, go ahead,” Mike says, after a minute. He sits up so that he’s putting his weight on his elbows.

Johnny nods before sloppily licking his own finger and sticking it through Mike’s ear.

“Augh- !” Mike grunts, pushing Johnny away. He wipes at his ear frantically while Johnny laughs at his expense.

“Gross-” Mike wipes a wet hand on Johnny’s arm and out of nowhere tackles him.

Johnny, caught by surprise, is grinning widely while trying to escape from Mike’s grasp.

“Shi-t!! MIKE! Timeout-!!”

Johnny finds himself on his stomach, Mike on top of him and licking the back of his ear as if he was a dog.  He can’t help himself from almost giggling at the tickling sensation. Also, the weight of Mike pressed against his back was making his face feel hot.

“If you want me to stop, why are you laughing so much?”

“Yo, for real Mike!-”

Mike ignores Johnny's pleas and continues wrestling with him. The two of them were still gripped with laughter in a somewhat heated match; headlocks, more tackling, the whole works. The extreme sleepiness Johnny was feeling earlier transferred into a kind of loopy haze. He was alert but at the same time reeling from everything. Everything as a result from lack of sleep to lack of contact with Mike for so long…

Even though Johnny was calling for a timeout, he was loving the way Mike was acting now. This goofy side that he bought out of the usually serious Mike was awesome and refreshing. Just to see him let loose for a while made Johnny’s night. After a few minutes the two agents were out of breath from their game.

The two were laying side by side, panting heavily and drinking in the amused but looped out expressions on each other’s faces.

“I like this side of you. Why don’t you act like this more often?” Johnny asks, his voice dropped low as he began eyeing Mike carefully. Mike’s face was a bit flushed from their activity. He was staring up at the ceiling thoughtfully for a bit before answering.

“You do?” Mike answers, with an inflection of disbelief. He still stares at the ceiling as Johnny continues staring at him.

He starts with, “I don’t know exactly… why I am the way I am…” quietly, and then stops altogether.

“There goes that stick up your ass again. Guess I spoke too soon,” Johnny partially baits. He sits up and reaches a hand over to prop on Mike’s forehead. His fingers began flittering across the loose dark blond locks in that area.

Mike’s only response was to continue gazing upwards. Worry crossed Johnny’s features, as he wondered what was going through the head of his friend.  He almost forgot about the sleep he was supposed to get, and trying to find out the real reason for Mike’s visit tonight. A cloud draws over Mike’s face the longer Johnny gapes at him.

“Are you mad about somethin’? If you are, just say so,” Johnny breathes out. He sits up further so that half of his body is hovering over Mike.

“No, I’m not mad. I’m just thinking.” Mike arches upwards to Johnny to meet him halfway. “What, Carlito better company than I am these days?”

“Tch, what the hell is wrong with you man?” Johnny says, as he shakes his head in disbelief. He almost has to laugh at the snide slightly insecure remark though. He can’t really blame Mike for making it. He’d been crossing the line a little with him about being in an on again off again relationship with Paige while they were making out no more than five minutes ago. Basically, it was pretty messed up on both sides. 

Moreover, Johnny already told Mike that he wasn’t into Carlito…Like at all. The feeling he felt for the guy accumulated to pity more than anything. That afternoon Johnny and Mike had their thing should have reassured Mike’s insecurities enough. Perhaps the distance brought it back.

Mike makes an innocent face that Johnny is also too smart to trust.

 “I don’t know what you mean,” Mike replies cagily, beginning to press chaste kisses to Johnny’s down-turned mouth. Johnny is unresponsive at first, still a bit taken aback by Mike's earlier comment.In the end, he kisses him back and lets relaxation wash over him.

Mike hands start roving around Johnny’s chest as their kisses deepen. Johnny’s hands take residence on the back of Mike’s neck, in the process of him being flipped over on his own back. His brain veils over due to the heated sensations developing from Mike’s tongue in his mouth and the pads of fingers pressing over his exposed skin to explore.  What comes next nearly causes Johnny to blackout as his hands are pinned above his head; Mike’s mouth leaving his to go to his neck…then to his collarbone for attention…and finally his chest when a hand presses down inside the front of his BOXERS-

“MIKE!” Johnny gives an unmanly squeak as he rolls Mike off him. He coughs several times while Mike stares at him in a mixture of an entertained and perturbed expression.  “Um, anyway-” Johnny flimsily begins, then ends just as quickly. He purses his mouth before peering at Mike with timid eyes.

Based on what he was seeing, Mike seems to be battling with multiple thoughts.

Mike stops himself several times from saying something to Johnny, before finally speaking. “Johnny…did I make you… _uncomfortable_?”

“Nah, well-” Johnny looks around hoping he could find the right words in his room somewhere.

This was bad.

He wanted to be more intimate with Mike but…it’s better if both their heads were clearer for this. It’s just as bad as when cleaning fumes disrupted their thoughts two weeks ago, and now this time around it was lack of sleep for both of them. Johnny holds back Mike’s intruding hands reaching for his face.

“We…should probably get some rest.”

Mike chuckles as he asks, “Are you seri-”

“Yes I’m serious. _So_ serious.”

Johnny wasn’t as serious as he should’ve been about it actually.

One thing he was completely serious about was this was a huge internal struggle he was having. He didn’t want Mike to leave, that much was true. However, this was the most responsible thing to do right now. What if Briggs or Paige or whomever else outside the room came busting in wondering where Mike or Johnny was?

What they would find was; Mike’s tongue down Johnny’s throat, both of them grinding each other into a frenzy, someone’s hands down someone else’s boxers and whatnot. Not to mention the sounds of two grown men moaning and laughing loudly to each other would give their housemates even more pause. If it didn’t earlier when they were wrestling…

Except Charlie, since she knows about their _thing_ already. She’d probably crack a joke about staying to watch before going on about her business.

It physically pained Johnny’s already fatiguing body to utter his next sentence. “Yeah…you should leave. Really.”

“What if I don’t wanna to leave right now? Maybe-” Mike leans into Johnny’s space again, his breath and smirk tickling Johnny’s ear. ”Maybe I wanna to spend the night?”

“Yeah, I know you don’t wanna leave… _annnnd_ that’s the problem.” Johnny briskly wraps an arm around Mike’s waist to help him out of his bed.

Mike won’t budge of course.

 “Mike, you know, I say this with all the love I’ve got for you in my heart-,” He pulls an aghast Mike to his feet despite the delay. “But bro, _seriously_ , you need to get your ass to bed. We both need some sleep. Especially Me.” Johnny ignores the face Mike makes and gives him one kiss on the mouth before spinning him around to face the door. He then slightly rough herds the golden boy in that direction when he is met with halting feet again.

“Alright, alright okay. I can tell when I’m not wanted.” Johnny tries to resist the urge to pull Mike back in. He tries even harder to make a serious face to counter the coquettish expression Mike is giving him. Why was he making this difficult? He was supposedly much more responsible than Johnny…Evidently the tables have turned.

“Night, Mikey,” Johnny whispers, as he claps Mike on the shoulder from behind. “Now, get the hell out. Love you.”

“Of course you do.”

“Yeah, you better go.”

“Fine, I’m going I’m going,” Mike grumbles, as he holds his hands up in surrender. His face shares not so well concealed disappointment now.

“Wait, c’mere for a sec.” Mike hesitates at Johnny calling him back in, as most of his body is already out the door. “Just come here-”

Eventually, Mike sticks his head in through the small crack of Johnny’s door not sure what to expect.

Johnny puts a hand on the back of Mike’s neck and pulls in order to unite their lips again for one last time tonight. It lasts almost a second, although the Johnny and maybe Mike, felt as though it was longer.

“Night. For real this time.”

Mike bites his lip still obviously annoyed. Johnny sees he’s struggling with the right words to respond with. The next thing that comes out of his mouth he instantly regrets.

“You mad son?”

Mike shoots Johnny one last irritated look as an answer and storms off into the hallway.

 Uh oh. That did it.

Johnny, unable to stop himself from teasing Mike again, says some other dumb thing; “We promised not to go to bed angry Mike! Let’s talk about this?!” His door is all the way open now as he calls after Mike nosily.  

Johnny looks around the hallway for any other visitors. The coast was clear.

 He closes his door and speed walks to the front of Mike’s door. Discomfiture etches in his features when he knocks on the glass panel.

“Hey Mikey! Open up!”

He hears footsteps on the other side before the door swings open. Johnny sees that Mike’s face is filled with an assortment of different emotions. Some good, some bad. But mostly bad.

“You followed me,” Mike says this slowly, with an air of disbelief that Johnny doesn’t quite appreciate.

“And? Don’t act like you’re not excited to see me,” Johnny boasts, as he makes a move to step inside Mike’s room, but Mike blocks him from doing so.

“John, why should I let you in-” Mike was using that cheerful but not actually cheerful tone of voice again. Sarcasm. “When you just put me out not five seconds ago?”

“Chill, man. Didn’t you say you had somethin' to tell me?” Johnny manages to nudge Mike out of the way, to Mike’s annoyance, in order to enter the room. Johnny glances around seeing piles of papers covering the floor, an unmade bed and a pissed off Mike Warren standing in the middle of the room.

“Yeah, I _did_. But-”Mike gives a fake dreamy sigh. “I’m just not gonna tell you anymore. Goodnight John.” He looks pointedly at the door which is also beckoning Johnny to come through it.

“Dude, just tell me! I’m right here. Look-” Johnny does a double take at the door and closes it. He walks back over to Mike, making an attempt to place his hands around his waist, but Mike brushes them off. But he is able to successfully take Mike’s face in his hands to gaze into deeply. He lets a playful smirk cross his features. “While I’m awake. I might be out a long time. C’mon Mikey.”

Mike rolls his eyes trying to avoid Johnny’s intense gaze. “It’s not important. Just, go get some sleep Johnny. It’s fine, really-”

“The hell it is! What was so damn important anyway?! Just tell me!”

“Johnny, just go to sleep before we both say something we’ll regret-”

“Hah, what? Excuse me?” Johnny says, as he drops his hands from Mike’s face, with confusion all over his own face.

“Why don’t you just say it? What are you, afraid of me now?” He was extremely afraid of the answer. Mike, as per usual these days since he got back from D.C, was acting somewhat of a jerky version of himself. Johnny thought that since their little make-out session with half-assed confessions of mutual attraction should’ve soothed things a little. Yeah, it was half-assed but Mike seemed to get the picture at the time.

Damn those two weeks they spent apart!

 Mike begins clenching and un-clenching his hands looking everywhere but at Johnny again. “I’m not afraid of you Johnny. Please just go. Like you said we’re both tired-"

“Look, I know we both got a lot of shit on our plates right now. Maybe it would, ya’know _help_. Like last time to-” Johnny pulls him closer but is pushed away almost instantly.

“Johnny, are you saying we just sleep together now?! This isn’t the time for that!”

Johnny’s eyes go wide. He fights the urge to yell so that they didn’t draw their housemate’s attention. They were speaking in loud whispers at the moment. He had to remind himself that they were both tired. In need of a heavy duty amount of rest. This is by far the longest argument the two of them have had, and Johnny wanted to end it. He chose to answer back as calmly as possible.

“Did I ask you to sleep with me?” He gently takes Mike’s chin to make him give eye contact. “Huh? Answer me Mike-”

Mike’s eyes are all over the place, his body is fidgeting again. He blinks several times before answering with, “No.”

“No, that’s right I didn’t. Is that what’s bothering you? You need to get laid or somethin’? Is Paige not satisfying you enough?” So much for not drawing the argument out. Oops.

Mike steps away from Johnny, in disbelief. “Why do you keep throwing her in my face?”

“Why did you throw Carlito in my face? I already told you I don’t like him.”

Mike gives a smirk that fills Johnny with a sense of dread. “But, you _do_ like his sister?”

“…Huh?”

Johnny feigns an oblivious expression as hard as he can. How did he know? Or was Mike just grasping at straws? He prayed for the latter because it sounded more like a question than a statement.

“What are you talkin’ about?”

Mike squints at him. Johnny can tell he’s trying all he can to dig deeper into this. Perhaps it was just jealously talking again? He wasn’t wrong though. It’s just that Johnny can’t say anything about his attraction with Lucia and vice versa. Jakes warned it was in bad form to sleep with those CI’s and adjacent back when he slept with that marijuana farmer. But he and Lucia hadn’t slept together. They only kissed that same night a few weeks back when Johnny and Carlito were going to ride out to the doomed pickup. That was the last night he saw Lucia and Carlito now that he thought about it.

So all was still good…right?

“So, you _don’t_ like Lucia Solano?”

“No. And before you ask me for the hundredth time, I don’t like Carlito either. We’ve talked about this, remember?” Johnny says while nodding, still keeping up with his act. He lifts a hand to cup Mike’s cheek. “And you and Paige? Are you two still uh-?”

“No, no-” Mike starts, visibly surprised by the question. He shakes his head, eyes probing into Johnny’s, of which Johnny presumed was being done to make him believe. “Of course not. Not for a while now.”

Johnny bites his lip slightly then nods.

“Okay. I believe you…It doesn’t matter. I was just wondering.”

Liars. The both of them.

What made the two of them push into each other, yet be pulled into other directions for other people like for Paige and Lucia?

Johnny knows they’re both lying to each other and themselves….

Well, it’s more like they’re admitting to themselves that they’re lying to themselves, but letting the lie continue. Or maybe-

Nevermind. It’s too late for this.

Mike leans forward to connect his lips with Johnny’s before Johnny could regain his conscious footing again. He closes his eyes and hums in laughter at the lazy steadiness of the kiss. He hears Mike exhale as they break apart. They rest their foreheads together,  just taking in each other’s sleepy appearances.

“I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“Oh really? You’re just now realizing that?” Johnny taunts, pressing a kiss to Mike’s mouth. Mike chuckles, smiling lightly.

“We should go to sleep. You were right about that-”

“Of course I was,” Johnny agrees, as he steps back a little to yawn and stretch. Mike does the same before running a hand over his hair sluggishly. He openly stares at Johnny for a few moments.

“What?”

“You can sleep here if you want to-”

“Didn’t we just have this discussion already Levi?”

Johnny doesn’t miss the way Mike winces at the nickname.

“Nah, just…to sleep. Since, you’re tire-” Mike yawns, blinks away sleepy tears and then sighs. “Tired. Hmm.”

Johnny also can’t help but snicker a little at the half formed sentences his guy was making. He felt his own brain beginning to trudge through groggy territory again himself. They were truly out of it now. “Mikey.” He kisses Mike briefly, missing his mouth by a centimeter, as he is led to the front of Mike’s bed by the hand.

Johnny makes a move to lay on top of the bed when Mike drags him to the floor to lay down with him. As Johnny lay on the floor, Mike grabs some covers and pillows from the bed. He props the pillows up behind the both of their heads, while the covers are draped over them.

“If…anyone finds us-” Mike stops to yawn again.  “We…can just say we were working…” He lazily pulls a few of the stacks of papers closer to them before laying his head next to Johnny’s.

“Hrm,” Johnny yawns and smiles. “Smart.” He nuzzles into Mike’s neck. The warmth he felt there made him feel warm by default. “…this close…though?” The words that should’ve escaped his lips were, “Should we be laying this close though? Someone might find us,” but his brain wouldn’t cooperate with the rest of his listless body.

Talk about contagious yawns. How was he so sleepy already?! Ah well.

“Later…worry about it…”

“…’Km…Mik…”

“…win…gma…n…”

Before Johnny knew it sleep took control of his body for the rest of the morning.

 

~~~g-r-a-c-e-l-a-n-d~~~

 

 “Aww.” Johnny thinks he hears a familiar voice cooing above him. He could have sworn he heard a door close earlier. That had to be his imagination though since he just went to sleep in his be-

The feel of a pillow being pulled from beneath his head follows before a swift smack upside his head did.

“…Yo-”

He hears “Get UP!” followed by a resounding grunt next to him from impact of that same pillow.   

“…Hnng..?” Johnny groans, while rubbing his eyes. The sunlight streaming from his window bathes his face swiftly. He feels a soft cheek on his face when he turns.

It’s a wild sleeping Mike Warren! Currently the guy has his arms splayed over Johnny’s chest while cheek to cheek with Johnny. The same cover from last night wraps around them both still.

 Johnny groans even louder in frustration at this new visual information. When he looks up, he is glad Charlie was the one to find them like this and not someone else.

“What the hell Chuck, we were workin’-”

“Uh huh, of course you were,” Charlie nods.  

“No for real Chuck, we-“

“…Charlie?”

Johnny and Charlie turn to their housemate. He was still laying own but had removed his arm wrapped around Johnny’s middle. He squinted at the form standing above him.

 “Goodmornin’ Mikey. Sleep well?” Charlie questions, smiling in his direction.

“How the hell does he get a ‘ _good morning Mikey_ ’, when all I get is hit with a pillow?!”

Charlie shrugs. “Well, I hit him too. It just didn’t take.”

Mike sits up from his position next to Johnny and yawns. Johnny takes in the drowsy expression on Mike’s face; eyes half closed and unfocused, hair swirled all over the place, shirt askew.

 Oh no he’s cute. Again.

Unable to help himself, and forgetting Charlie was standing in front of him, Johnny wraps an arm around Mike’s shoulders to draw him closer so that their nose almost touched. Mike wakes up a little more now, eyes focusing on Johnny’s gaze.

“Hey,” Johnny greets softly, smiling. “You good?”

Mike smiles back, looking down a little as if he was embarrassed. Johnny can’t help but marvel at the way one minute Mike could act like a shy school boy confessing to his crush how he feels to the aggressive, playful guy who initiated 95% of what was made up of their relationship now.

 They stare at each other’s lips, just about to close the distance between them, when Charlie whistles loudly.

“Hot stuff. Hate to interrupt, but you two actually can’t say hidden away all day. So. Up.”

“Mind your business,” Johnny growls as an answer, burying Mike’s head into his chest. He hears muffled laughter from that area and it makes him smirk even wider.

Charlie narrows her eyes at him. “Listen you, it’s already twelve in the afternoon. So if you don’t get your asses-”

“What?!” Mike practically shrieks, as he pushes from Johnny’s hold. He gapes at Charlie wide eyed.

“Did you just say it’s twelve in the afternoon?!”

“Yep. It’s been twelve o’clock since five minutes ago-”

“I’ve gotta go!” Mike yells, jumping up. He runs to one of his dressers and then his closets for clothes but not before pressing a hard kiss to Johnny’s mouth. “I have a lead on-Nevermind. I have to shower… I’ll tell you later. I need to showe-” He stops midway to concentrate on rifling through a nearby paper stack. Afterwards he bolts to the door with clothes, shoes and papers in hand. Charlie and Johnny just watch the whole scene silently, one amused but the other both amused and turned on.

“Hey, ayo Mikey! Need some company son!?” Johnny calls out, as Mike has almost gone through the door. “Want me to scrub your back?!”

“No Johnny!” He hears echoing into the room from the hallway. The sound of footsteps as well as cursing follows before silence.

Johnny leans back, sucking his teeth while glaring at Charlie who was currently fighting off laughter.

“Dammit Charlie! This is the second time!”

“Heh, I know right?! Anyway,” she begins, and then bops Johnny with a pillow again.

“Hey!”

“I need your help with a thing. Get up.” She tosses a bundle of what looks to be colorfully striped pants, suspenders, large wide brown shoes and a giant rainbow afro wig on his lap. "You’re free most of the day right? Right. Thought so.”

Johnny groans and rubs his head in annoyance. So much for catching up with Mike. There had to be a better way to get more alone time with him…

Johnny woke up with a blurred memory of what transpired last night. But the kiss goodbye Mike gave him sent those fuzzy memories into convergence.

Johnny began to realize even more that this relationship or whatever it was could be the best and worst thing to happen to them. They started arguing more and the shaky relationship statuses… The same could almost be said about what was blossoming between him and Lucia. Speaking of which, he should be paying her a visit soon but only after-

“Five minutes, let’s go. Annnnddd-” Charlie says, staring knowingly at Johnny who tried sneaking off. “You shower in the _other_ shower Mike’s not using. You got me?”

“Pfft. Whatever. Paige is probably in there with him anyway,” Johnny mumbles, as he gives a wan smile and saunters out of the room. He probably wasn’t too far off though. He’d hadn’t seen Paige for awhile, since that drop failed. Which could mean she crept back in last night and was probably somewhere not far off from Mike. Johnny guessed she’d eventually make an appearance.

Charlie sighs and rolls her eyes to the ceiling. “Why me?” she asks to heavens. She picks up the undercover clown uniform before leaving the room.

 


	2. Chapter 2

“G’mornin’,” Mike happily walks over to where Johnny is standing at the kitchen counter. He purposely stands in Johnny’s personal space, obviously pleased with what he sees. Johnny is clad in only his boxers making breakfast. Of which consisted of pancakes, eggs, bacon and some sort of fruit syrup. How fancy.  They haven’t been able to have alone time together since the other night. Mike hoped that he wasn’t annoyed or anything with him running off the next morning. Or the fact that he basically accused Johnny of having a thing with Carlito again…with the added bonus of Lucia.

 He felt bad.

Mike should have been more than convinced Johnny wasn’t mixed up in the relationship department as he was. Projection was terrible thing. As was hypocrisy.

“Mornin’,” Johnny murmurs, glancing over at Mike briefly. He was somewhat distracted with mixing pale yellow batter in a bowl in front of him.

“Your turn on the wheel?” Mike finally asks. He finds an empty cup to fill it with a nearby pitcher of orange juice.

“Mhm. Want some?” Johnny questions. Mike makes a face, but he makes sure it’s in a teasing manner. He takes a sip of the juice he held before responding with, “I don’t know Johnny…the last time you-“

“Hey! I know how to make pancakes, Mike. C’mon.”

Mike nods. “Okay, but-” He leans into Johnny, his mouth practically connecting with an ear while a hand glides over Johnny’s exposed back. He was a mere half centimeter from touching the waistband of the black boxers Johnny wore. “Shouldn’t you be wearing an apron while you cook?”

Johnny’s mouth curls into a small smirk at the contact as he flips over a pancake. “You don’t seem too upset about it though,” he replies back with ease. Mike can’t help put give a small smile back. Although, he did wish he could make Johnny as flustered as he used to get around him. It was a nice change of pace to see the usually confident, funny, sarcastically witty and trolling guy unravel for Mike. Mike saw that part of Johnny’s personality as extremely sexy.

Footsteps suddenly began trickling up… or perhaps it was down? Somewhere on the staircase, causing Mike to distance himself from Johnny. He notices Johnny focusing on his cooking even more so now. Mike looks around the corner of the kitchen, to where the staircases are, in expectance of a visitor. A few minutes pass and a door closes somewhere.  Who else was home anyway?

Whomever it was, wonder where they went?

 More doors close, footsteps and then nothing again. Was someone playing hide and go seek up there?

Well, it wouldn’t be the first time that happened.

Mike licks his lips before turning his attention back to Johnny, now that the coast was clear. He catches him mixing up the batter still to pour into the griddle in front of him. As Johnny is pouring, Mike inches closer to touch his lips to one of Johnny’s shoulders. Then he dips his head down to softly press them on the nearest barcode tattoo on the back of Johnny’s arm.

Johnny jerks away slightly and nudges Mike away with an elbow. “Dude Chill! You’re gonna make me mess up!”

“It looks like you have already...What shape is _that_ one supposed to be exactly?”

“Man, shut up!” Johnny exclaims, sucking his teeth. “The reason why you can’t see my pancake making genius is because you’re a hater.”

Mike just snorts at the accusation. He gazes at Johnny’s handsome smiling face, moving closer to make an attempt at unite their lips when footsteps make them break apart again. Said footsteps almost lazily enter the kitchen.

“Mornin’ mi gente--!”

The two turn around to find Briggs, still in his pajamas, heading towards the refrigerator. Mike exchanges a look with Johnny who raises his eyebrows.

“G’morning,” the two say together finally once Briggs makes his way other to them, carrying a carton of milk.

“Want in on these B?” Johnny asks, indicating toward the stacks of cakes. Briggs gives a hard look to the strangely shaped breakfast. Mike chuckles at the obvious internal debate he’s having.

“Sure, why not? I’m feelin’ brave today.”

“Oh, I see its hate on Johnny day today. Got it. Love you guys too.”

Briggs laughs lightly as he bumps an elbow with Johnny’s.

“You know, I never see you eat my food,” Johnny exaggeratedly sighs, placing a pancake shaped like a…flower? Mickey Mouse? On a nearby platter.  Mike thought it didn’t look too bad after all once he got a closer look. Johnny must have been practicing a little while he was gone. He looks up from staring at it to find Brigg staring directly at him as he drank from the carton. His eyes seemed to scorch right through Mike, although his face was all serious and seemingly business-like.

“Hey, how’s it goin’?”

“Good,” Mike replies simply. He needed to leave or change the course of conversation or something because he suddenly felt really awkward in the same room with Briggs and Johnny. One wrong move and Briggs would sniff out what may be going on between them. “Hey, Johnny-“

“Mikey, my friend you’ve been in hiding,” Briggs announces, jerking the carton he held in Mike’s direction.

“Oh?” Johnny says, giving Mike a knowing look, eyebrows raised and hiding an oncoming smirk. “We’re not good enough company these days Mr. Mikey?”

Oh boy.

Mike made the mistake of thinking he was the one going to tip Briggs off, but the one he should’ve been worried about was Johnny. It was apparent that Johnny was going to make it worse with his teasing and hidden meanings.

Mike tries to feign an innocent expression to hide his impending embarrassment.

“Um, it’s just this case you know,” he replies, taking a hurried sip of his juice. He can feel the burn of Briggs’ and Johnny’s gazes in his direction.

“Who’s the lucky girl?” Briggs asks suddenly, causing Mike to choke on his juice.

“HNG-ck-!“

“You can’t have all your focus on this one case. Let it out.”

 “For real? A girl? Yeah, Mikey, who is it?” Johnny doesn’t bother to hide the wicked grin on his face this time. “You didn’t get back with Abby, did you?”

“Ohh Abby? I almost forgot about her. Hmm,” Briggs muses.

“Who could forget? Mikey couldn’t let her go. And ALMOST got Graceland burned. Dude, I thought you were smart too -“

“Rookie mistake. He knows better now…I hope. Yeah, if it’s not her then who…could...it...be,” Briggs thinks aloud. The ominous expression he has is cutting Mike’s resolve up. Mike makes the unfortunate decision to quickly glance at Johnny for a second AND WHOOPS bad idea, because Johnny was giving him the most lecherous look in his general direction Mike had ever seen in his life. Mike’s face grew hot as he tried putting his attention elsewhere. It didn’t help though, he could still feel the penetrating gaze of his fellow FBI agent turned friend with benefits on him. Urghhh. 

“C’mon, guys,” he tries to salvage, blinking rapidly. He had to lie. It _was_ his life after all. The lies, and yeah they were discussing his private life. Which Johnny was inexplicably part of. Right. It doesn’t matter, this is not the time nor the place for this convo to happen. “Why, why would…how I? I have zero tim-“

“NOW that I think about it,” Johnny interjects loudly as he is placing another pancake on a plate. He ignores Mike’s glare. “Mikey has had his mind in other places. You know, like how he was with Abby,” Johnny throws in Brigg’s direction this time.

“Do tell,” Briggs says crossing his arms and leaning back onto the counter. Mike couldn’t understand why of all times did Briggs chose this moment in time to listen to house gossip. Shouldn’t he be snuggling somewhere with Charlie right now?!

While overthinking it, he does however miss the small fraction of regret Johnny had on his face after he made his comment.

“You’re on your phone more than usual-” Briggs starts slowly, giving an accusing stare to Mike.

“Textin’ and shit. Who you textin’ Mikey?”

“Yeah Mike, who you textin’?”

“And don’t say it’s your mother-”

“I think I remember you using that excuse once-”

“Yeah, I did. But, no mother would have her son smiling like Mikey here was smiling from a text-“

“Oh, well _shit_ then _._ Sounds serious.”

“Ha, right?!”

To Mike,  the prospect of getting shot again seemed so much better than being in this room right now.

“Come to think of it-” Johnny pauses and then shakes his head as if he was having second thoughts. “Nah.”

Dear god why won’t they stop.

Briggs looks at him curiously. “Hmm?”

Johnny gives Mike a sideways glance, then turns to Briggs with a look of as if he just thought of something really important to add to this extremely jacked up conversation.

Oh no.

“I’m thinkin’, who’s to say it’s even a gir-“

Without thinking Mike pushes his arm out into Johnny’s shoulder, harder than he thought, cutting off the rest of his sentence. Unfortunately, Johnny knocks the opposite arm first into the hot griddle of frying cakes.

“ _Shit_ , _”_ Johnny hisses loudly while jerking the arm away from the griddle. He holds his elbow, glaring at it carefully.

“John! John!” Mike’s eyes go wide and he reaches for Johnny’s injured arm. A slightly red long crescent shaped burn mark has formed near the tip of the elbow. And Johnny, still sore backs away from Mike. He misses the hurt expression that Mike gives him at the rejection.

“Jeesus  Johnny-” Briggs walks closer and sighs in frustration. He gently takes Johnny’s arm to inspect it.

“Yo, Mike was tryin’ to kill me, just so he could beat my time. Again,” Johnny jokes, and Mike appraises that Briggs was about to join him in his teasing when they turn to view Mike’s face grow red all over.

“That isn’t funny Johnny,” Mike whispers darkly. The nervous look Johnny gives him makes his stomach drop, but he keeps talking. “Damn it, I could’ve really hurt you-”

He felt Briggs’ eyes flicker between the two of them. Mike could also feel his face turning into a near snarl while his eyes were at the beginning stages of glazing with unwanted tears. While Johnny on the other hand has his bottom lip sticking out, brown eyes sad and gazing at Mike. He was shifting uncomfortably where he stood.

Mike couldn’t help but love or care hard about people he actually cared about. He wished he knew why, but nope. Even his parents desperately tried to understand the emotional man when he was a child. They simply pushed him into doing so many activities; sports like golf or hockey, clubs like the math-thletes or art appreciation, volunteer work… the whole overachieving child activities shebang. His parents were advised by specialists that it would help with his emotions, which they thought was linked to his ADHD diagnosis, to focus on an activity. Just to be sure Mike’s parents made him focus on about 6 by the age 10.

“But-”

Mike reaches a hand out in Johnny’s direction but stops himself. He instead chooses to exit the kitchen, running through the living room and then pounding up the stairs.

 

~~~g-r-a-c-e-l-a-n-d~~~

 

“Mike.”

Mike glances up and finds Johnny, donning a red hoodie now with a sleeve rolled up on one arm, standing in his doorway. His expression is soft, but showed determination somehow.

Mike looks down at the floor wanting this day to be over with already. Wanting to somehow erase himself from the situation, from this house even. If were possible, he would definitely transport himself to another dimension than be here right now causing pain again to someone he cares about.

 He’d been in his room for the past hour with no visitors until now. At first he thought the footsteps he heard were Paige, since he hadn’t seen her since the night of the ‘almost’ drop. He thought she had a lead but hasn’t gotten the chance to tell him yet. He tried calling and texting her in the last hour. Nothing got a response. Next he’d try getting in touch with Jakes maybe. But, then again, he was MIA since that night too.

The Bureau _really_ isn’t going to like this.

“You can’t even look at me?” Mike snaps out of his thinking to find Johnny looking down at him, standing over him perilously close. His face now showed a mix of annoyance and concern. “Man, who hurt you to make you like this?”

“Is it so wrong that I care about you?”

“No. That’s not the point… You ran upstairs without sayin’ anything. Did you really get upset over a little burn Mike-?”

“That I caused!”

“So what? It’s no big deal!”

“But I _hurt you_ Johnny!”

“You’ve done it before!” Mike shrinks away upon hearing the declaration. Nonetheless, Johnny continues. “You’ll probably do it again too. I’ll probably do it to you! Accidents happen. I’m not underwater tryin’ to disable a bomb Mike!”

Mike put his face in hands, shaking a little. He still had nightmares every so often about that horrible time. “I should’ve listened to Charlie. She warned me not to-”

“Chuck what?!”

“To keep an eye on you while you’re cooking-”

“Tch, why does everyone take me as a jok-”

“It’s not that Johnny, we—I’m— we’re just worried about you. Because we care. We love you man-”

“Whoa, wait a minute. You love me?” Johnny sits on the bed closer to Mike, wrapping a hand around one of his wrists. His thumb brushes the jutting wrist bone methodically as he stares deeply into Mike’s eyes. Mike feels his anger die down with each movement and the heavily entrancing gaze he was being met with. With a grin playing on his lips now, Johnny says, “Dude, I’m touched. Really. Love you too,” after a moment.

Mike’s mind wanders back to similar words being said when he was deep undercover with Bello and thought Johnny was blown into a thousands of pieces underwater. He wondered if John was serious about it in a platonic way or like a; I-care about-you-because-I-am-attracted-to-you type of thing during the time. Mike wasn’t altogether sure if he felt that way for Johnny back then. He was drawn to his energy, loyalty, friendliness, bravery, humor…and something more physical at the time…and especially at the time when they first met at the airport terminal.That much was true. He was also envious of Johnny’s ability to create joy out of most situations too. Not for his own selfish agenda either. But for everyone around him that needed to feel better.

Mike couldn’t get over how Johnny said those three words so easily…with so much heart and weight to them more than usual.

Mike decided he didn’t deserve this affection. How could he, with the way he’d been actin-

He chooses to roll his eyes at his friend’s response to save face. He was still agitated by what he allowed to go down this morning. “That’s the only thing you heard me say?”

Johnny reaches his hand over to wipe away an unclaimed tear on Mike’s face. Mike bristles at the gesture choosing instead to wipe it away himself, but Johnny, too fast for him takes that same hand to bring to his mouth for a kiss. Mike’s face softens in surprise and he sniffs the disagreeable snot away from his nose, allowing Johnny to hold his hand for a few moments more.  He feels his face more than warmed over from Johnny’s actions and his own behavior. Flushed was too weak a word for the amount of red in his face.

“Wanna hug it out?”

Johnny went for it anyway before Mike could answer.  A muscular body pushed forward, while even tighter tan arms enveloped around Mike’s neck for a proper squeeze. He was being held close, chest to chest, breathing matching that of Johnny’s. He let his head rest on Johnny’s shoulder while Johnny’s rested opposite on his.  He heard Johnny sigh as he let go of him.

Mike was starting to feel nervous under what he took as a scrutinizing gaze of Johnny. He chooses to push Johnny on his back, taking care to not brush against the burned arm. The look of curiosity thrown in his direction encourages his next move. He has to make Johnny feel better somehow…To let him know how big of a mistake he made earlier was. He also prays he doesn’t make Johnny uncomfortable again like he did the other night.

“What are you doin’?” Mike hears midway through yanking his own shirt off. 

“Making things right?” Mike says, stopping his undressing to peer at Johnny. 

The face Johnny makes causes his heart to sink. It was like an admixture of compassion and disappointment.

 So much for not making Johnny uncomfortable again.

 It’s a look Mike very rarely sees from the usually lackadaisical guy. Very strange. He hopes he won’t see it ever again. He chose to hover over Johnny so that maybe he could explain himself better. He places a hand on Johnny’s stomach, taking a deep breath before talking. 

“Johnny, I just wanna-”

“Bro, you know how you can make things better?”

Johnny gently holds his wounded arm up, while shifting the opposite arm to rest under his head. He stretches out his legs further on the bed and sighs.

“You could get to one of the medicine cabinets and get me something for this burn. _That_ would definitely help. I’ll take a rein-check on whatever you were about to do though.” The smirk following the last line relieves Mike a little more about the situation.

“Okay. I can do that,” Mike quips, straightening his shirt back on. The way Johnny is staring at him now gives him light goose-bumps. He gets up, heading for the door.

“While I‘m young! Thanks Mikey. Love you!” He hears being called out to him. Yet again Mike feels himself severely affected by the earnestness accompanying those words.

Mike finds himself staring off to space in the hallway as he tries to remember where the first aid kits were. He wished he brought his own along on the journey back to LA, but Graceland seemed to have everything last he remembered.

Mike wanders into a linen closet, one of the bathrooms and finally the laundry room downstairs. It would have been easier to just ask someone in the house, but Mike didn’t feel up to communicating with anyone else at the moment. He found himself in another bathroom, spying with his little eye on a larger cabinet next to the cabinet usually used for deodorant, perfumes and colognes ectr. Mike opens the door to find a series of medium sized red boxes in rows and columns.  The boxes decorating the cabinets were labeled in white lettering as; cuts, flu…burns. Yes.

Mike grabs that particular box before trudging out of the bathroom.

When Mike returns to his room he finds Johnny standing up, back facing the door. Mike closed the door behind himself, walking over to him thereafter.

Johnny turned slightly, showing something brown and fluffy in his hands.

“Dude?! You actually kept him?!” Johnny gasps, lifting the object up for Mike to observe. What he is shown makes Mike smile instantly. It was the bear Johnny gifted him when he was stabbed two years ago. The little guy was slightly worn, but the function of adorable is still intact.  Paige was the one who brought it over while Mike was in the hospital. She relayed the heartfelt message of, “Try not to shoot it,” from Johnny. 

“Yeah, he usually just stays in my room back at D.C,” Mike shrugs. He pokes the bear in the belly making Johnny laugh. They continue staring at it until Mike takes Johnny by the wrist, of the uninjured arm, leading him to the bed again. When they sit, Johnny rests the bear on his lap while Mike sits closely on his right.

“If you get stabbed again I’ll have to buy you another one. Oh, and I can’t believe you got kidnapped, man. I also can’t believe it hasn’t happened again. You keep putting yourself in dangerous situations bro. You sure love It don’t you?”

“Oh yeah, it turns me on,” Mike replies, rolling his eyes. Why was he a magnet for this sort of thing anyway? He thought it came with the job but he most definitely wasn’t so sure anymore.

“Gross,” Johnny laughs, bumping his shin against Mike’s. Mike just smiles not bothering to retaliate. He sees Johnny wrinkling his nose at him a second later.

“You’re not into any crazy kinky shit are you?” Johnny asks, now looking nervously at Mike. Mike notices him wincing, quite possibly afraid of the answer already.

Mike snorts at the question. “No, I’m not. Not really…No. I’m more in between I guess.” Although the question was mixed with jest, as per usual with Johnny’s questions, it still unnerved Mike a bit.

What could he expect with sex with Johnny anyway? Or with a guy in general? He couldn’t help but have his hands all over Johnny when they were alone like this. Recently, when he tried something wildly sexual was the other night when he reached into Johnny’s boxers as they were making out. The guy gave a yelp, rolling Mike off of him before scampering off to the side of the bed. Mike guessed it was maybe it was too soon for stuff like that. Originally, Mike came to Johnny’s room to talk about the Solano case, but got distracted by what he saw when Johnny greeted him at the door.

“Well, good. ‘Cause I would soooo not be ready for it. Like one night while we’re in bed you might pull out canes, whips and a chainsaw on me.”

“Pshh, chainsaws?” And whips and canes? Mike can’t help but laugh. He isn’t sure if Johnny is joking or not at the moment of that outrageous sentence.

“I dunno,” Johnny shrugs. “People do crazy stuff like that all the time. I don’t know you.” Johnny looks him up and down with a funny sparkle in his eye. “You’re a bad enough influence on me Mr. Mikey. Can’t take any chances.”

“I’m a bad influence? Oh, _really_? Huh.” Mike gives Johnny that double meaning smile again that made him timid yet eager that day when they first kissed. The next expression Johnny gives him solidifies the theory enough. He hears Johnny snicker when he leans into him for a kiss.

 If Mike hasn’t admitted it to himself already, he enjoyed that part of Johnny’s personality immensely. The fact that he could find humor in anything. Even when he should be mad at Mike for the way he’s been acting these days, and even so much as earlier this morning. His insecurities showing in full throttle…

The kiss is brief as Mike turns his attention back on providing Johnny with first aid. He opens the box and finds shea butter, cotton balls, small and large bandages, peroxide and rubbing alcohol. He chooses the peroxide, shea butter and a large bandage.

Mike takes care to prep the peroxide in the cap. “It might leave a scar for a longer time….I waited a little too long. Hold out your arm like this.” He stretches his own arm out and turns it so that the elbow is facing up. Johnny mirrors the movement, taking care to keep the teddy bear settled in his lap.

“No problem Mikey. Just do your thing.”

Mike nods taking the cap filled with peroxide. He sets the cap to the side as he picks up two cotton balls and opens of the small jar of shea butter. Mike then dabs one of the cotton balls in the peroxide cap, then the other cotton ball to swipe over the shea butter.

Johnny hisses when the cotton ball lightly soaked with peroxide brushes over his burn. Not wanting to cause Johnny any more pain, Mike quickly brushes the same spot with the shea butter. Johnny visibly relaxes at the application. The two stay silent for a bit when Mike opens up the bandage he chose previously. He can tell Johnny is watching him, but can’t tell what his visage entails.

“Hey, Mike? Um, I went too far earlier with that convo with you and Briggs,” Johnny starts, during the time Mike is wrapping his elbow securely with the large bandage. “I got kinda carried away-”

“Don’t worry about it Johnny. I had no reason to react the way I did,” Mike responds curtly. He appreciates the apology but feels guilty at the same time. Johnny isn’t meant to be taken too seriously when he does or says silly stuff like that. But because of their current relationship situation; Paige and him on the outs briefly, Jessica back at D.C, and thus Johnny here….The latter of which Mike was entering in a new world of more than just friends slash friends with. Mike realizes his reaction was much more irrational than it needed to be, but accurate to how he was feeling at the time.

Which was exposed and out of complete control.

Mike wasn’t at all ready to address publically this need he has for Johnny in this way. He barely felt compelled to talk to Paige about what they have…had. Mike knows he will have to address his outburst to Briggs one day too-

It was all too much.

Moreover, Mike felt the urge to change the subject when Johnny apologizes. It was time for him to get his thoughts together again. “Done. I have to reapply the cream and redress the bandage… For at least a week until the scar disappears. Or you can do it.”

“Cool.” Johnny lifts his arm, flexing it lightly. “It’s definitely not stinging like it was before anymore. Good looking out Dr. Mike.”

“Sure,” Mike nods, grinning at yet another nickname he didn’t ask for. He gathers up the medical supplies and places them back the proper way into their box.

When Mike finishes he is caught off guard by Johnny surging forward, impelling his mouth onto his. The kiss begins frantically then deepens as languidness settles in.

At that point Johnny drags his doctor for the day up by the collar so that Mike is flush on top of him. Before he could do so, Mike gently takes the teddy bear from Johnny’s lap to place on a nearby pillow.  More minutes pass by once Mike pants alongside Johnny as they come up for air for a second time.

“You’re not innocent Mike,” Johnny mutters in-between the silence. The tone he uses and the intense eye contact he makes causes Mike to go breathless for a second. The smile Johnny has is practically devilish. “I dunno why you act like you are.” 

“I’ve never said I was,” Mike says, in a low rumble. The sarcastic ‘yeah sure, of course’ expression Johnny gives him causes laughter to escape from him. “I don’t think I am-”

“Mm hmm. Sure ya don’t-”

Mike interrupts by latching his mouth to his favorite spot on Johnny’s neck. He chuckles lightly at Johnny’s frustrated moan.

Mike pretends he can’t make out the slurred speech Johnny adopts in lazy protest of being marked in the same spot, continuing to suck and lick on the tanned neck. The neglected teddy bear however watches them by the sidelines like a hawk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really recommend watching all of the deleted scenes from the season 1 of Graceland (I cannot wait to see the ones for season 2 omg). There is lot of information (and some funny stuff) on some of the characters. One deleted scene I found interesting was namely Briggs asking if Mike was diagnosed with ADHD and Mike confirming it. It was when the two of them were going to meet with Bello and Eddie at that restaurant. I don’t know if it’s still canon(since I haven’t seen any mention of it on the show since then) but there are signs of him having it in the show(or maybe I’m looking too close?).  
> Anyway, thanks for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

“Mikey, baby, how mad are you on a scale of one to John McEnroe? Tell me honestly.”

Mike huffs a large sigh. He couldn’t ignore the little skip in chest that occurred when Johnny called him ‘baby’ just now though. “This really isn’t the time for that Johnny.”

 “You gotta let it out Mike. It can’t be good for your health-”

“ _John_ ,” Mike warns. And then he presses the heels of his hands into his eyes to sigh again. 

The two were on their way to pick up Jakes from being held in jail for god knows what.

Hours earlier Jessica, whom Mike thought was already back in D.C by now, stopped by for a visit. He had to cut his make-out session earlier with Johnny short when he found his blond co-worker waiting at the bottom of the stairs for him.

When Jessica finally left Mike hightailed it back up the stairs to his room. He found Johnny still there, whew, but with his arms crossed. He was looking at him pointedly until Mike joined him in the bed again.

 Only about thirty minutes pass as Mike and Johnny were busy upstairs, doing _things_ , when there was a call coming from downstairs. Mike heard the ring for only a split second before turning his attention back on keeping Johnny pinned underneath him as they kissed. A minute or two later the sound of someone’s feet were heard rushing up the stairs. They found out that person was Charlie, who then told them to gather downstairs for an emergency. Once they located Briggs, who was out surfing since he left the company of Johnny and Mike earlier that morning, Charlie broke the news down.

Mike justifiably lost it then and there.  

He never thought Dale Jakes would pull something like this in a million years. Even being spun around and hugged by Jakes, when Mike reunited with the Graceland crew a few weeks back threw him off…but this takes the proverbial cake.

 Not only was he disappointed in him for getting arrested for whatever reason, he was pissed off at the fact that he did this in the middle of a case. Every piece of this case must work together in harmony. So far, the little _extremely_ unnecessary nicks and scraps on this case along with his own personal dysfunction were driving him up the wall. The Bureau had been right about this case since day one of Mike’s proposal, and the thought of that just burned him up even more so. Failure again with this case, what else was new?

Briggs warned him to take it easy but he jumped at the chance to follow Johnny, who offered to go pick Jakes up from the slammer.

Currently, Mike felt one of Johnny’s hands rest on top of his knee as Johnny drove. Mike removed the palms of his hands from his eyes to sneak a peek at Johnny. His eyes were still on the road, face etched in seriousness.

“Hey, we’ll find Paige, okay?” Johnny says, turning to Mike once before facing forward again.

Mike nods, straightening back up in his seat. So many thoughts were winding up and down his thoughts at about a mile a minute. Besides getting Jakes back home, Jakes was the key to finding out Paige’s whereabouts. He cared for her as a friend and obviously because of their relationship history.  Where could she be?

“You’re not the only who cares about her,” Johnny suddenly comments, as he makes a swift turn on the highway. “You know that right?”

“I never said I was John-”

“Yeah, but you’re actin’ like it. She was my friend first,” Johnny glances again in his direction as they stop at a stop sign. Mike narrows his eyes at Johnny, searching his face as he let a grim grin appear on his own face.

“Wow Johnny. I didn’t know it was like that-”

“Nah. Stop. It was never like that. She’s always been a friend to me.”

“Oh c’mon. Let’s not act like you were never attracted to her,” Mike continues, not believing the strange words spilling from his own mouth now.  “All those games of football on the beach-”

“I’m not even gonna respond to that,” Johnny sighs. To Mike’s surprise he keeps the same hand planted on top of his knee, squeezing it every so often.

“Is that a yes? You’re not saying you’ve never thought it, are you?” Mike didn’t believe Johnny, and assumes for argument’s sake that he was somewhat lying to him. It shouldn’t matter, but it _does_ and Mike has to find out now so that more space can clear from his head.

“Hell yeah, have you _seen_ Paige?” Johnny exclaims. Then he turns and slowly frowns in Mike’s direction. “Oh wait-I didn’t mean it like tha-”

Mike recoils a bit. He thinks for only a fraction of a second before quizzing, “So, what made you go for me instead of her?”

“I don’t value you much for your brains as I do hers,” Johnny shrugs, wasting zero time to reply. Mike stares blankly at him, not sure if he wanted to ask Johnny if he was serious or not. He knows it was petty of him to even continue this conversation, but the comment doesn’t hurt or aggravate him any less. “And _you_ came after me first. Don’t you remember?”

“Thanks for that Johnny,” Mike chooses to grumble, rolling his eyes and brushing Johnny’s hand off his knee.

“Well, you started it _bruh_.”

“Whatever, _man_ ,” Mike grunts whilst looking out of the window. He feels Johnny’s hand start to card through the back of his hair and afterwards rub at the base of his skull gently. Mike tries leaning away from Johnny’s touch, but yet it became another thing he seems to be failing at doing today. “Pay attention to the road John.”

“Don’t be that way Mikey.” Mike wants the cozy feeling in his stomach to stop. It was as a result of practically being scratched behind his ears, as if he was a puppy, by Johnny. He knows he licked Johnny’s ear when they were play fighting the other night, just to pay him back for the wet–willy, but c’mon this was a bit ridiculous…no matter how good it felt.

“What did Jessica want anyway?”

Mike quickly gets over the good feeling. The question surprises him. “She wanted me to close everything down again.”

“Oh, that’s messed up. They really don’t have much confidence in you do they?”

“Sure seems that way.” As with much truth, Johnny’s reply hit him like a ton of bricks. This was the whole reason for Mike’s being here. But without it, he wouldn’t have-

 

                                                                                                       ~~~g-r-a-c-e-l-a-n-d~~~

 

Johnny offers to sign Jakes out, to Mike’s appreciation. He wanted to stay closer to the car, to think for a bit. He wants Johnny’s company, sure, but signing Jakes out was a one person job.

Johnny walks over to one of the open windows, chattering with the person on the other side of it. Mike watches him, admiring the way his slender form looks in all black from the back. He didn’t get the chance to really get a good look when they left Graceland because all he saw was pure red fury after finding out where Jakes landed.

“They said he’ll be out in a few,” Johnny announces, suddenly appearing before Mike. He squeezes Mike’s shoulder before walking across from him to sit on the iron bars that separated cars from each other.

“What did they say he was in for?”

“They said he was violating some kinda restraining order. They had to taze his dumbass,” Johnny replies. Mike continues boring a hole into the concrete and just shakes his head. From Johnny’s response, he can feel that Johnny is somewhat amused but also confused by the situation. He was glad that Johnny was taking this mostly seriously, but, that doesn’t stop the fury beginning to bubble from deep within him again.

A buzzer sounds and Mike suddenly hears Johnny greeting whom he presumes as Jakes.

There’s silence at the other end of the greeting. Mike quickly moves from his spot to rush out with, “Hey? Where is she?”

“I don’t know.”

Mike holds himself back from jumping in Jakes’ face after a few more heated exchanges. Mike questions, he hopes is perceived in a sarcastic manner that Jakes _was_ with her, right? He is met with Jakes replying in kind that he was too busy being locked up to know where she was.

“Why did you bring him?” Jakes rolls his eyes, asking in Johnny’s direction.

Johnny shrugs. “He just came.”

The two were already heading off in the direction of the car when Mike questions DJ as to why he and Paige put themselves in such a vulnerable position in the first place. In a secluded shady part of California? Check. No cover team for support? Check.

To his astonishment DJ informs him that Jessica, whom he calls Mike’s girlfriend made the call for Paige and him to go on ahead to Somar.

He really let lose then, after hearing a particular smartass crack from Jakes’ direction about who’s tail belongs to whom and how confusing it gets…He stops in Jakes’ path getting right in his face, bellowing that it was in fact his responsibly to have Paige’s back. He is so ready to hit him when he hears;

“Guys chill. We’re not gonna find Paige yelling at each other in the parking lot.”

Johnny was right. But that doesn’t stop Mike from firing off with, “We’d better find her.” He glares at Jakes. “Or that’s on _you._ ”

He walks away when another thought just hit him;

Did Johnny really imply Jessica was his girlfriend too?

Not even close.

Strike three to officially make this fail day for Mike Warren.

                                                                                                         

 

                                                                                                             ~~~g-r-a-c-e-l-a-n-d~~~

 

The car ride was quiet, sans Johnny trying to strike up conversation between the three. The trio went their own separate ways when they emptied out of the car and enter Graceland. Mike hears Johnny call out to Briggs and Charlie, and then Paige for good measure in hopes of someone answering. All they receive is silence in return. Jakes went off in the basement somewhere, so Mike took that opportunity to go his own way back to his room.

He feels Johnny on his heels, yanking the back of his shirt every so often. Mike continues ignoring the gesture as walks into his room. He plans to face plant in his bed, or maybe even throw something across the wall to break but the sound his door closing from behind him takes his attention off the idea.  

“Hey why are---” Mike starts but suddenly stops once he sees Johnny.

Johnny was in the process of pulling off his pants not breaking eye contact with Mike, who now stood smiling dumbfounded in the middle of the room.

Now, it’s Mike’s turn to ask the question of, “John…What are you doin’?” He can’t and doesn’t want to take his eyes off Johnny right now. Johnny’s shirt was halfway off, which meant only his boxers were the only thing remaining.

“Finishing what we started earlier,” Johnny answers, tossing his shirt behind him. He creeps up to Mike, grabbing him by the front of his shirt to bring him closer.

“Um,” is all Mike can say. Johnny plants a kiss to his mouth quickly and then smiles. He steps back a little to tug at the band of his boxers. Once Johnny kicks them off, to join his shirt and pants, Mike ogles him, mouth agape.

“You like what you see?”

“Yeah, always,” Mike breathes out hoarsely. He swallows the saliva forming in his mouth unceremoniously.

“ _Always_? Really. How come you haven’t said anything?”

Mike makes a face. “Because I thought we were just friends? Why do I feel like we’ve had this discussion before?” He goes back to taking in Johnny’s naked form. Why was Johnny naked in the middle of his room, while they were in the middle of—

“Nevermind. Don’t worry about it,” Johnny shrugs. He walks away and sits down on the edge of Mike’s bed. Mike just watches him move, not wanting to join him just yet. Just taking in the lovely scenery really.

 “Why are you standing over there? C’mere.” Johnny laughs, stretching an arm towards Mike. “We both could relax, right?”  

“I didn’t know what was going on. I thought you were finally cracking up,” Mike acesses lightly, walking to Johnny, taking hold of his arm. Johnny sneers at him.

“Yeah, okay. It isn’t because my body intimidates you--?”

“Johnny, you’re stalling,” Mike interrupts, grinning at the way Johnny’s confident smile drops.

“What makes you think I’m stalling?”

Mike drops a slow kiss as a preliminary answer and leans up again. He starts rubbing the top of Johnny’s shoulders. “You’re nervous. I can tell because you keep making it seem like I am. It’s projection.”

Johnny’s eyebrows knit together in what Mike took as mock thoughtfulness. “It’s getting cold.” Johnny wiggles where he sits. “You should probably do something before I—”

Mike doesn’t need another hint.

He immediately shreds off his shirt, pants and finally his underwear. He loves the way Johnny snickers at his reaction. He stops laughing, however, once Mike finishes undressing. Mike feels a little vulnerable, and slightly embarrassed just standing over Johnny in his birthday suit and all. With Johnny just slowly observing him, eyes wandering up and down on his person. That near embarrassment goes away once he hears, “ _God_ Mike _,_ you were hiding all that the whole time?!”

“Not anymore. Move over,” Mike voices sternly, biting back a smile. He doesn’t wait for Johnny to stop staring in apparent awe before he gathers him by the waist to lay on the bed properly.

“This is the longest I’ve heard you not say anything,” Mike comments after a few minutes of silence later, shaking his head. He was worried Johnny might be having second thoughts about this. Johnny went quiet all of a sudden when he sat up again.

“I’m just…preparing myself…like emotionally.”

“Charlie told me you said that about the strippers in the bouncy house. That night Jakes punched you?” Mike didn’t know if he should feel honored or offended by the comparison.

“Tch, she needs to stop acting like she didn’t enjoy it too.”

“Wait…what?!” Did he hear right?

“Forget I said anything,” Johnny says in a hurried manner. He puts his hand on the back of Mike’s neck, massaging the spot there. Mike closes his eyes, breathing deep.

It took Mike a minute to get his bearings enough, to inquire, “Didn’t she stab that thing? The bouncy house?”

“Yep.”

“Did she ever pay you back?”

“Eventually. Mhm.”

Mike finally opens his eyes. Something was up. “She paid all of it back?”

“More or less.”

Mike blinks, smirking a little at the hard stare and clipped responses Johnny threw in his direction. He looks behind himself and then back at Johnny again. He wants to make sure there wasn’t some fascinating creature behind him that was holding Johnny’s attention like this.

“What’s wrong?”

Johnny inches closer so it’s as if they were joined at the hip. Practically on Mike’s lap. He just continues gazing back…until Mike hears a light whimper coming from him following by a pout. Mike’s eyebrows shoot up in realization. Oh.

“Do you want me to-?”

“No, Mike. I want you to give me a lesson in astrophysics—” He’s cut off by the hard kiss and tackle Mike gives him to the bed.

 

                                                                                                               ~~~g-r-a-c-e-l-a-n-d~~~

 

This was…no _is_ a good good…GREAT thing Mike believes He felt spent and per Johnny’s original plan, he was relaxed too.  But he knew that once he separates himself from Johnny, this oasis that has been hiding under his nose, the responsibilities of his reason for being at Graceland would devour him again. At the back of his mind the itching feeling of worry for Paige was dull when Johnny and he finishes their activity.

Mike moves to kiss along Johnny’s shoulder, still somewhat lost in his thoughts. He stops to catch his breath, as he asks, “Are you alright?”

“Well, my ass hurts,” Mike hears Johnny grumble from beside him. He’s lying on his stomach, head buried halfway in a pillow, one eye visible and blinking lazily at Mike. Mike could see that his neck and cheek were flushing a light rose color.  

“So, it didn’t feel good?” Mike asks slowly.

“No, it did. Amazing. Different. Just now though I felt this literal pain in my ass—“

Mike sighs in relief. “Sorry…I mean it is your first time…right?”

“ _Was_ ,” Johnny corrects, throwing Mike a sappy smile. “Until you came along.”

“Well _my bad_ then.”

“Took you long enough, man.”

“We weren’t ready.” Although Mike thinks for a moment that maybe they are still moving a little fast. It’s not like he didn’t want to have sex with Johnny. The thing of it was that so much is going on now, he worries that they were just using each other as an outlet and nothing more. Only more time passing would tell if that was actually true or not. He does feel bad for rejecting Johnny, and then the whole back and forth thing between their bedrooms that one night. It would have been much easier to just talk abou—

“Yeah, I guess that’s true,” Johnny agrees. The two look at each other for a moment.  Mike looks away replaying in his head the last hour and some odd minutes he spent with Johnny in this room.

He hears Johnny cracking up laughing out of nowhere, waking him out of his thoughts. “Dude, why are you actin’ like you’re scared to touch me now? Just-” He takes Mike’s arm, wrapping it around his waist. He smirks in satisfaction. “Better.” Mike didn’t realize he was laying so far apart from Johnny after they finished. He wanted to collect himself… as well as not add anymore strain to Johnny who was so extremely wiped out in the end, he wouldn’t speak for a while.

Johnny’s skin felt firm, with an addition of glistening sweat taking residence on his back. Mike’s arm brushes the area again, but with his palm he feels the warmth there. He starts tracing patterns, with his fingers this time, along Johnny’s back. First slow, steady circles on his shoulder blades. Afterwards, his fingers dance down near Johnny’s rib cage. He didn’t seem to be ticklish there. Damn.

When he looks closer, there are small pale purple hickeys near the lower part of Johnny’s hips. The spots were visible where the area wasn’t covered by the quilt enveloping them. Mike was pretty sure there were more fully developed, much larger ones peppering Johnny’s inner thighs and collarbone if he looked there too. He takes one of Johnny’s wrists from under his head, about to kiss it, when he found an extremely noticeable one.

“John.” Mike bit his lip, showing Johnny the mark on his wrist. Johnny groans when he looks at it.

“ _Seriously_? I’ll remember that for next time,” Johnny huffs. He jokingly glares at Mike. “It looks like an octopus has been sucking on my skin.” Mike lets a loud laugh escape, even though he knows it’s all his fault. Johnny gets a sneaky grin on his face. “You’re an octopus pervert you know that? I’m gonna start calling you _pulpo cochino or pulpo sucio._ Which one do you like better _?_ ”

“Neither. Please don’t call me that,” Mike begs, but he couldn’t help smiling while he spoke. Johnny gives him a look that says ‘you wanna bet?’ .  “I’m not gonna answer to that Johnny. No more nicknames.”

“Hmm, we’ll see,” Johnny states, sitting up so that he was reclining on his side, instead of his stomach, mirroring Mike’s position. He places a hand on the back of Mike’s neck, the pads of his fingers brushing the area there. Mike moves closer so that they are just a kiss away. He deposits his hand from Johnny’s back to the back of his head, stroking the soft shorn hair lightly.

 “I noticed you don’t speak Spanish on a daily basis very much,” Mike teases, before closing the distance between their mouths. “I’m surprised you even know what you just said.”

“Shut _up_. I know my language. I don’t have to speak it all the time.”

Mike’s eyebrows go up. “Really? What if you forget?”

Johnny scoffs, mussing Mike’s hair. “That’s not gonna happen. It’s in my blood. You’re the one who’s gonna forget if you don’t practice.”

“How do you know I don’t have any in my blood to make me remember?” Johnny just cackles at the question causing Mike to feign a sad expression. “You know there are native Spanish speakers that look like me, right?”

“Yeah I know. _You_ just ain't one of them. Nice try,” Johnny affirms, giving Mike a sweet look of pity. “Still love you though.” He laughs heartily as he drags Mike in for a sloppy kiss. 


	4. Chapter 4

“Really Mike?” Johnny asks aloud in disbelief. He lets out a breath in frustration, eyes following Mike leave the room. Jakes on his left and Charlie on his right, stay sitting on either side of him. However, he feels them shift in their seats, also sighing in frustration, along with exhaustion. Johnny then sees Briggs leave the room as well, presumably going after Mike.

They spent the last half hour going over a map of where Paige could have been taken. Mike was pacing around, not saying anything while everyone else circled and re-circled places on the map. Johnny spent most of the time discussing back and forth with Jakes, who knew more about what they were dealing with since he worked so closely with Paige. Then Briggs and Charlie were chiming in every so often to correct them on discrepancies. That’s when Mike started acting strangely, stating the obvious in tones of defeat.

But even before that--

After Johnny and Mike finished up what they were doing upstairs, they were set to join the rest of their housemates. Everyone else trickled in back to Graceland slowly, obviously still shaken up. Johnny felt guilt eat at him bit by bit with the question being asked in his brain, “What right did you have to screw Mike upstairs while everyone else was working hard to get Paige back? You remember Paige right? You stole her boyfriend from her, while she was missing?” over and over. He shook those thoughts away, wincing a bit, as he pulled his clothes back on. Mike, he noticed occupied with his own thoughts, didn’t keep much of a distance from him while they dressed.  Even though that was the case, they still had zero time to talk before rushing downstairs after hearing the rustling of their roommates--

Currently, Johnny sat up, albeit stiffly on the couch. He still felt a little sore from earlier but powers through it anyway.  Jakes was in his own head, as usual with this sort of thing, Briggs and Mike were out somewhere. That left Charlie passing glances between her two friends.

“We will find her,” Charlie says, looking at Johnny and Jakes with fierce determination in her eyes. Her resolve encourages Johnny to keep believing Paige would be found safe. Johnny nods before looking over at Jakes. Still in his own head again understandably.

Johnny sighs and brings Charlie close for a hug. She accepts it, resting her head on his shoulder. He places a hand on Jakes’ back but Jakes gets up to leave the room.

“Why you gotta be like that Jakes,” Johnny groans. Jakes ignores him, continuing off to god knows where again. “Don’t get locked up! ‘Cause I’m not bailing you out again!”

“Johnny, what happened to your arm?”

Johnny turns to Charlie now staring daggers at his bandaged arm. “Oh, um. I burned it a little.”

“What did I tell you about payin’ attention while you’re in the kitchen?”

“My fault. I’ll be careful next time.” Johnny didn’t want Charlie going after Mike over this. They had enough to worry about at the moment. Tensions were already high enough when they tried gathering together to look over a map.

“And what’s _that_?” This time she has a confused look on her face, pointing towards the hickey on his wrist.  Johnny quickly turns his hand over, mentally cursing himself for not changing into longer sleeved clothes. He’s glad however he can adjust his collar enough so that the marks along his collar bone couldn’t be seen.

“I bumped it,” Johnny murmurs, fidgeting with the hat on his head.

“You’re just all left feet today, huh?” Charlie questions. How she couldn’t tell it wasn’t a hickey, Johnny will never know. Johnny can tell however, she’s not quite believing him, but also not wanting to dig deeper. She sighs, getting up on her way to the kitchen when Johnny asks, “Wanna grab me some Tylenol while you’re over there?”

“No, your legs aren’t broken-”

“Please Charlie?”

Charlie stops in her tracks. “What’s wrong hun?”

“I just have a headache,” Johnny lies. He hopes she believes him though. He doesn’t want to go into explaining the part of his anatomy that actually feels sore. Charlie disappears to the kitchen, returning with two glasses of water and a bottle of medicine in tow.

“Thank you.” Johnny takes the water and a pill gratefully. As he downs the two, Charlie eyes him while taking a sip of her own water. He notes her weary state.

“Chuck?”

“Just worried about Paige,” she replies, blinking slowly.

“I know, but is there something else wrong?”

“Nothing I can’t handle myself.” Charlie wraps her arms around herself, sliding back on the couch, leaning into Johnny’s side again.  “You?”

Johnny thinks for moment. “Yeah. Same.”

                                                                                                         ~~~g-r-a-c-e-l-a-n-d~~~

 

Its days later when Johnny can finally hug Paige again.

The living room is mostly dark, with a small amount of light spreading through the windows. He’s still wearing the same black cap, shirt and pants from when he picked Jakes up.

The hug…it feels right. Almost. At the back of his mind he knows his priorities have been consistently screwed up for as long as Paige has been gone. So far, he’s slept with Mike, lied to Charlie and Mike, pined for Lucia on the low, and now is putting on a front as if Paige being missing was the only thing going through his head this whole time. He felt the instant weight of guilty continuing to weigh on him. Paige, one of his dearest friends in his career, should have been the only person on his mind. Why did he think himself so freely inclined to be selfish enough to start something with Mike, laughing, joking while Paige was burning in hell? Just waiting for an angel, one of her friends, to rescue her from its fiery depths?

Johnny’s eyes briefly catch Mike lurking closer to the dark in the background, fading, oceanic eyes the only indication of him even being that far away in the room. When he looks behind himself, Johnny sees Jakes taking the same stance, also watching Paige. However, he’s atop the stairs and the light above him shining down in an ironic way of letting the rest of the gang know he’s there.

Johnny holds Paige closer, willing for the silent forgiveness he knows he doesn’t deserve.

 When he lets her go, to hand over to Briggs, he feels his eyes well up with tears. He straightens his cap, missing Mike slink out of the room.

 

                                                                                                             ~~~g-r-a-c-e-l-a-n-d~~~

 

“Oh no. Nah. You’re not coming near me again-”

Johnny places a hand on Mike’s chest to stop him from slobbering all over his neck or other parts of his body. Johnny was in the middle of preparing for bed after finishing his shower. It was already past midnight and Mike snuck himself in Johnny’s room when he wasn’t looking. They both sat on the bed, Johnny with his back to his headboard while Mike sat directly in front of him.

“What’s wrong?” Mike asks, and Johnny narrows his eyes at him for a moment.

“Are you for real right now?” Johnny asks slowly, still not moving his hand off Mike’s chest. The innocent but somehow sleepy expression Mike is giving him cuts the edge off his serious tone.

“I just wan-“

“You just wanna _what_ exactly? Tell me. Let it out.” Johnny crosses his arms over his chest staring at Mike. “We’re not doing _it_ again, if that’s what you’re thinkin’…not now anyway.”  It was partly his fault for stripping in front of Mike and initiating their _collusion_ from days ago, after they picked Jakes up from lockup. He didn’t have enough energy to do it with Mike tonight. Johnny wanted to again, that’s for sure, because they’ve only done it once.  But the timing was off. He started to have flashbacks to another particular night.

“Didn’t you call _it_ amazing?” Mike retorts, inching closer in Johnny’s face, grinning, while Johnny avoids eye contact with him. Oh noo. Not the flirty eyes..!! That smile… And Mike’s hands finding themselves on Johnny’s hips, pads of fingers brushing over his stomach beneath his undershirt.

“I did,” Johnny begins, blinking rapidly and turning his head away in a different direction.  “Just-You don’t say you love someone very much…do you? It makes me think-”

Mike stops, staring quizzically at Johnny. “Makes you think what?”

“It makes me think, I dunno,” Johnny shrugs, bowing head briefly before looking up again. “Maybe you don’t love me or somethin’.”

“What makes you think that-?” Mike asks in a low tone, seemingly taken aback by the Johnny’s statement. Johnny started to feel a little bad for even saying that, but couldn’t stop the next sea of words spilling from his mouth;

“I’m just sayin’ Mike. You should tell that people you love, _that you love them_. You’ll never know when it’ll be the last time you do .Or if they’ll never hear it from you again.”

Johnny is trolling Mike a little bit, but this was something to think about. He didn’t want to be just a…what was it that Charlie would call it...Oh yeah a _slam_ and _scram_.  He knows Mike cares about him…loves him in the sense of loving another person. But _LOVE_ as in L-O-V-E in an, ‘I can’t breathe without you’ or ‘How can I exist if you don’t’ kinda way?

By the by, Johnny wasn’t sure if the way he loved Mike was too strong to actually mean he was in love with _him_ in that way. Maybe he was confusing it with lust? That same spell he cast on him was still there, Johnny knew as much.

Mike looks at him thoughtfully before replying with, “You’re right.”

Johnny smiles smugly. There’s a little bit of shock there…however, while gloating he misses the unadulterated look of lust in Mike’s eyes. “Don’t you get tired of saying that? ‘Cause I know I’m not tired of hearing it-” Mike’s lips close over his, leaving Johnny with a dizzying frame of mind.

“You confuse me when you say you want me, then push me away--”Johnny hears Mike chide thickly, against his mouth.  His hands are all over Johnny’s body until Johnny stops them by interlacing them with his own hands.

“I could say the same about you--” Johnny remarks smartly, before Mike takes his lips to his hungrily again.

 When the kiss ends, Mike covers his mouth to yawn and then rests his head on Johnny’s shoulder. Johnny throws his head back in annoyance. “ _Mike_ , you ain’t sleeping here man.”

“Isn’t it a little late to tell me that now?” Mike questions, now on his stomach on the bed. He was already claiming one of Johnny’s pillows to tuck under his head. Johnny stares at him blankly, taking in the muscular curve of his arms, back, down to his behind covered in shorts, and further down to the back of his thighs, calves and feet. Mike looked waaaay too inviting in someone else’s bed. _God._

“Move over then,” Johnny sighs, giving up quickly. This has been an arduous last couple of days, so what was the point? What else was new?! It just seems really strange that Mike is going to continue the habit of sleeping in the same bed as him for the night. Beforehand, Johnny figured Mike might be comforting Paige now and would crawl back to Johnny when they were on the outs. Johnny wondered if they probably ever said they were exclusive or anything. That brings up another question of he and Mike admitting or clarifying eventually what it was they had right now. All of the jealousy intertwining with smartass comments, when a certain party was mentioned, would lead an outsider to believe they were a couple…Maybe he and Paige actually were over with whatever it was they had?

 Staring down at Mike now, Johnny couldn’t lie to himself that it felt great to share a bed with him again. The intimacy would be nice without the sex. Even though there wasn’t anything wrong with that either…It was just irresponsible, selfish on so many levels to try it while everyone was home now. And also very sloppy. Mike Warren wasn’t supposed to do sloppy, unprofessional and irresponsible. Johnny couldn’t get over how he’s changed so much.

 Mike doesn’t move over very far as Johnny flops beside him. Johnny is on his stomach as well, pulling a cover over them both. They stare face to face, eye to eye, practically breathing the same breath.

“I have to ask you though,” Mike says, going into business mode. “Carlito still hasn’t contacted you since--?”

“No, he hasn’t,” Johnny replies, wondering where Mike was going with this. He crosses fingers in hopes that he wasn’t accusing him of having a thing with Carlito again. Oh, and if he has to see Carlito again it would be too soon.

“I think that maybe you should talk to Lucia then. See what she knows?”

“Mike, dude, she doesn’t know anything. She hates that side of her family. She doesn’t want to have anything to do with it,” Johnny tells him earnestly. He also hates the way that the mere mention of Lucia’s name piqued his concern and deep affection for her again. He was trying to forget the feelings he developed for her. Trying and failing apparently. Now, Mike of all people was bringing her up. Perhaps he can shut this down. “It’s a lost cause-”

“Well, I’m the patron saint of lost causes. Just talk to her okay? Visit the house even. We should get the ball rolling on this again…now that Paige is back.” Guess not. Mike is apparently very serious about following up with Lucia.  Johnny eyes him carefully before nodding in agreement once. Mike brushes his hand on Johnny’s back, smiling faintly. “Thanks John.”

“I’m really glad Paige is back though,” Johnny voices softly, after a minute. He’s not sure how Mike is going to take the confession. He hopes he doesn’t take it as a dig. Johnny is really happy Paige is back where she belongs, but he doesn’t want it to get out what he and Mike were up to this whole time. How are they going to keep this up? Speaking of which, Johnny wonders if Paige let Mike get away with this much.

“Yeah, me too,” Mike answers.

Johnny swallows the smart comment he felt bubbling up at the back of his throat. He chooses instead to trace the bridge of Mike’s nose with his finger, staring at him as intently as his sleepy eyes would allow.

“We should go to Hector’s. You haven’t been since you got back, have you?” Johnny suggests, moving his hand away. He hasn’t been there in a couple of weeks himself. It wasn’t the same with Mike back at DC. He only went there if it was the closest place to eat while on an undercover or something.

“No, I haven’t had the chance. And I miss it—going there with you and Briggs. Even though I almost burned it the first time I went.”

“I can never get over that man,” Johnny chuckles quietly. “You almost burned _Hector’s Taco’s_ you jerk. I don’t know why I just invited you back there-“

Mike chuckles and kisses Johnny too gently again. Johnny sleepily loses himself in the kiss. He feels Mike stroke the bandaged area of his arm, once they come up for air.

Mike gazes at him solemnly.

“What’s wrong?”

“I wish you’d let me redress that for you. It’s my fault you have it-” His fingers brush over the bandage again.

Johnny yawns. Mike really isn’t over that huh? Johnny knew it was an accident courtesy of his own playing around too much. He almost forgot about the thing until Mike mentioned it just now. “You can do it next time. Night, _el pulpo_.”

“Night, _Joseph_.” Johnny sucks his teeth as Mike kisses him one last time on the forehead. Soon after they drift off to Lala land for the night.  


	5. Chapter 5

  **Chapter 5**

“That’s what you do to your mother when she calls?”

“Shits complicated,” Johnny murmurs, gliding his razor up and down on his chin again. “She doesn’t even know I’m in the FBI.”

“That’s nice. Good son,” Charlie mumbles, in a tone Johnny recognizes as screaming sarcasm.

It was morning, now days after rescuing Paige. Johnny noticed she kept to herself most of the time she spent recovering and respected it. The bruise on her cheek as well as the bandage on her leg upset him.

Johnny was currently shaving for the first time in a while, just as Charlie was giving him crap for not answering his phone when his mom just called. A sensitive subject. He wishes Charlie could understand that instead of shaming him about it.

To change the subject Johnny lets slip that Mike wanted him to visit Lucia.

“He’s got you barking up that tree ‘cause Carlito’s gone?” Charlie guesses correctly, turning to Johnny with a hand on her hip. Johnny continues facing the mirror shaving. He hadn’t been up to going this route, but the other night Mike practically begged him. Johnny thought he’d be able to sneak past Mike since he suddenly became obsessed with catching a crooked cop named Markum…but nope. The next night they slept together Mike questioned him again on it.

“Yeah, I told him the girl doesn’t know anything about the business. It’s a lost cause…but--” Johnny starts, finally putting down his razor on the sink.  “-Mike says he’s the patron saint of lost causes.” Johnny sighs as Charlie rolls her eyes in response. He loved Mike and all but this part of his personality was like a double edged sword. It was definitely inspiring and sexy to see the guy so determined. Then again his arrogance…or was it assholeness? Whatever it could be called, it was annoying at times. It was funny though when Johnny saw other people being on the receiving end of it. Not so much himself.

As Charlie is on her way to leave the bathroom Johnny’s phone vibrates again, this time with the name ‘Mike’ is flashing on the screen. Charlie stops and looks down at it before staring at Johnny with a mischievous expression.  

Dammit, he should’ve changed it to _Pulpo Sucio_ when he had the chance. But then again, Charlie probably would’ve gave him an even stranger look at the name anyway because of hanging around undercover at that tattoo parlor all the time.

“Speak of the devil,” Charlie grins, looking back down at Johnny’s phone again. “What does your other half want now-?“

“Yo, Charlie chill-”

How does she know they even slept together? Or maybe she was just sending feelers out to get the scoop…? Well, whatever it was, she needed to quiet down because anyone could walk right in or be outside the door listening in. And it surprised Johnny a little that Charlie actually seemed supportive of this…sort of.

Charlie shrugs thoughtfully. “I don’t even think he and Paige are still-“

“So what? It’s like still sensitive- Like I told you before, we don’t even know what to call it. We’re jus-”

“Sounds like friends with uh… _benefits_ if you know what I mean,” Charlie comments, giving a cocky smile. “Like how you thought Paul and I were at the time?”

“ _That’s_ what you’re pissed about? You wouldn’t even say good morning to me, but wanna talk about my relationship status? And what do you mean ‘at the time’? You guys still are.” Again, the question of what Mike and Johnny were to each other has come up…this time from a separate party. Johnny avoided asking it out loud, by himself or even in Mike’s presence. That’s the only thing, besides his crush on Lucia issue, still keeping the two from really making their thing something more solid.

“Well anyway, that ‘patron saint of lost causes’ stuff…yeah, that’s gotta change.”

Johnny laughs in reply as Charlie finally leaves the bathroom. He’s alone shaving in silence for a handful of minutes until he hears his phone vibrate again.

Instead of answering the second round of ringing, Johnny puts down his razor again and took to texting;

 _‘I’m in the bathroom, Go eat some breakfast or something_ :P ’

He hits send. Not a minute later he receives from Mike;

_‘Why aren’t u picking up?’_

“I’m right up upstairs. Why doesn’t he just come up here?” Johnny asks aloud, shaking his head fondly. He starts typing another message when he hears someone running up the stairs and stopping into the bathroom. When he looks into the mirror he sees Mike, panting slightly, staring at him.

“You didn’t pick up,” Mike pants, walking up to Johnny. Johnny grins at him, looking at him up and down. The dark blue or is it black? t-shirt Mike is wearing looks great on him. It was a nice contrast against his skin…of which he is somewhat insecure about its paleness often. Johnny tried reassuring him that he looked fine, but to just surf and stay in the sun more if it really bothered him.

“Well, I was right upstairs-” Johnny begins, but doesn’t finish as Mike grabs him by waist, kissing him roughly. Johnny just smiles, looking at his guy in disbelief when they break apart with a comical POP. The more Johnny looks up to Mike as the responsible one, the more he’s amused and low-key alarmed by what he’s been witnessing.

“What? This-” Johnny makes a motion with one hand as if he was shaking up a soda. Mike’s eyes widen and he snorts. “-Wasn’t enough this morning? You’re determined to get caught huh? This room isn’t exactly soundproof.”

“You mean when I gave you one too or?” Mike questions confidently. His tone greatly differs from the innocence of his gaze. Almost.

“You… _el pulpo_ ,” Johnny admonishes slowly, as he playfully narrows his eyes at Mike. He shakes his head wistfully at the memory of what they did earlier this morning. Mike plants one on his mouth a few times before asking;

“So, are you all set to go to the Solano’s today?”

Johnny rolls his eyes. Way to spoil the mood. He doesn’t know what’ll happen or how Lucia will react to seeing him again so long after that night. He plans to keep their almost fling to himself even when the Solano’s are finally arrested…hopefully not Lucia since she’s the angel of the family.

“Yeah I am. But don’t expect anything,” Johnny says, taking Mike’s chin so that he could look deep into his eyes. “Seriously.”

“And why’s that? That’s the reason why you’re going over there. To expect something, or someone being there. ‘Patron Saint of lost causes’, remember?”

Johnny groans, which makes Mike smirk at his expense. “Ugh. Stop sayin’ that. Anyway, later we could go out. Once all this is done, right?”

“Of course,” Mike nods, pressing a kiss to Johnny’s cheek. Suddenly, the thought of his earlier conversation with Charlie pops into Johnny’s head. This was as good a time as any-

“Mike…what are we? Are we...dating? I mean technically, we are-“

Mike ducks his head down briefly. “We don’t have to put labels on it or anything Johnny-”

A record player scratches somewhere and Johnny tilts his head, blinking twice.

Oh _wow_.

It was really strange…and hurtful even to hear this out loud. Mike belongs to him, as Johnny belongs to Mike right? Maybe this was karma for how Johnny used to uncharacteristically taunt Mike about Paige when they started this whole thing. At the back of Johnny’s mind, he knew it was almost hypocritical to feel disappointed too, since Johnny was battling with the butterflies in his stomach in anticipation of going to visit Lucia today.  Now, this.  What was wrong with him?!

“Just keeping your options open?” Johnny asks, keeping his glaring at Mike at a minimum.

“No, Johnny that’s not what I meant-!“

“No, it’s okay. We don’t have to label it or anything.” Johnny turns around and starts his razor again. He feels the sudden touch of Mike’s hands rubbing his shoulders. Johnny makes sure to avoid Mike’s heartfelt gaze from the mirror.

“John, I didn’t mean it like that-we…I don’t know what you want me to say.”

“Just be a man about it Mike. Are we exclusive or not? Just say it. Don’t beat around the bush.” Johnny keeps his eyes trained on himself as he brings the razor back to this chin. He misses Mike’s heartbroken expression. Soon he feels Mike rest his face on the back of his neck, soft lips and then an intake of air at the same spot.

“Johnny,” he finally hears, then Mike’s hands turn him around to face him. Johnny begrudgingly makes eye contact with him. How did this fall apart so quickly, weren’t they joking and kissing and making dirty jokes not ten minutes ago? All over something that should have been clarified from the get go... Would it have better to stay ignorant and happy?

“This can be whatever you want it to be, okay? Please look at me...I need you.”

Johnny chews the side of his lip before flicking his eyes back into Mike’s cool blues.  They show stubbornness, possessiveness of the person that reflected on the other side of them…filling with a sort of agony and darkness that blew Johnny away from reality in that moment. Only in that moment…and then Johnny woke up.

Maybe he was being too hard on him. Definitely. This was a confusing situation emotionally and mentally. He wanted to keep going with the flow when he and Mike began their thing but…Chaos amidst chaos..? Someone needed to say something about _something_.

Mike moves his arms to rest at his sides. “Say something John.”

Johnny lets out a breath and shrugs while looking away. He felt irritated still. “Something.”

“Thanks.”

“Happy to help,” Johnny mutters sarcastically. He can feel himself frowning the longer he looks at Mike. “It’s not just sex to you… is it?”

“ _No_! Why would you even ask me that?” Johnny flinches at the harshly whispered answer. “Johnny, we are something important okay? I just don’t know what else to call it. We act like a couple…we do things couples do…I didn’t want to pressure you into calling what we have something it wasn’t.”

“Oh,” is all Johnny can reply with, sadly. He felt horrible, but this was for the best. He’d have no more questions unanswered right?

“I know most of this is my fault. I don’t want to make excuses-I just want to do better,” Mike continues, while his eyes take Johnny in.

If Mike says he was going to do better, then Johnny would too. Or try to…He’d resist the urges and punch down the feelings that clambered into his heart and mind for Lucia. All of which were threatening to expose itself by forcing a particular phrase out of Johnny’s mouth.

But no.

Before Johnny knew it Mike’s lips were on his, gently but yet unannounced.

By the time Mike’s warm mouth and coffee tasting tongue left his, Johnny found himself panting heavily while the back of his skull was being cradled. He was still being held perilously close to Mike’s body, whilst sitting on the edge of the sink for some reason.

“Your face is red,” Mike states, with a slight ring of laughter to his voice. The softness of his tone makes Johnny feel self-conscious somehow though. He pecks at Mike’s cheek quickly before shoving him away jokingly. His mind was a little clearer, although he couldn’t stop the whirring in his stomach when Mike grabbed his hand just now.

“You should go eat something. Get outta here,” Johnny mumbles, smiling. He tries to move away from Mike but hears;

“Yeah, but you could come downstairs with me,” Mike remarks, pulling Johnny impossibly close again. They were pressed together, front to front, which left Johnny’s face hot. He couldn’t help squirming under Mike’s gaze. It was apparent he was still spellbound, and he was glad that he was.

“Johnny, are we good?”

“Yeah.”

“I don’t believe you,” Mike replies. He takes Johnny’s hand to his mouth. He kisses each bumpy bone of Johnny’s knuckles individually, all the while retaining eye contact with him.

“Man, stop,” Johnny laughs sheepishly, noting the childish whine of embarrassment in his voice. He snatches his hand away from Mike, turning around to face the mirror again.  As he straightens the ends of his shirt out he feels Mike’s mouth on the back of his neck. Then Mike’s fingers glide over where a bandage used to occupy Johnny’s elbow.

“I’ll see you downstairs before you leave, okay?”

Johnny nods. He experiences chills down his spine when Mike kisses the spot his mouth was connecting to. With each press he somehow hears, in Mike’s voice, ‘mine...mine…mine’ play over and over again in his head.  

 

~~~g-r-a-c-e-l-a-n-d~~~

 

Johnny most definitely didn’t expect to spend his afternoon tied to a chair, next to Lucia.

Especially not held hostage by some serious cokeheads looking for Carlito and the guns he promised them.

His face hurt. It was slightly bloody, scratched as well as bruised from the earlier fray when he entered the mansion. The longer haired one overpowered him while the second one held onto to Lucia, gun in hand.

 Johnny managed to get the guys to lay off Lucia and himself for a bit once he remembered Carlito’s safe was filled with coke. Thankfully, Lucia knew the combination to it or they’d be worse off than they were now.

The white stuff kept their abductors were buzzing for what seemed like hours. 

Johnny took a moment while the two were pacing around near the door to question Lucia on what was supposed to go down today.  Something about guns needing to be delivered. He then questions if the guns were on their way. To his horror, Lucia relays that Carlito did something stupid and allowed for the guns he was supposed deliver, to their hosts of the afternoon, to be blown up. 

There were no guns coming….

_No GUNS WERE COMING?!_

HOW? No. WHYYY?!

What the hell were they even stalling for?

Johnny let a small whine of aggravation out. His eyes rove over to one of his captors currently looking out of one of the glass panes near the door.  The other with shorter hair stares at Johnny and Lucia every so often, as he hurriedly wipes his twitching nose.

“The man my father usually sends for these things wasn’t available. So he sent Simone from Mexico,” Lucia continues softly, still visibly shaken up.

Johnny gives her another nervous look. What a way to live. How many times has this happened to this family?!

“Times up!” the longhaired one announces. He heads back to where Lucia and Johnny are, with the short haired one trailing behind him like a lapdog.

Instead of standing in directly in front of them to ask more questions, as Johnny thought, he bent down on the coffee table to snort another line of coke. Speaking of which, it was almost gone… As the guy snorts himself to an oblivion, the gold plated gun he holds points at Lucia and Johnny. They were both duct taped to chairs, what were they going to do?!

Johnny feels his face still sore, as well as the feeling the blood continuing to drizzle down the lower part of his face.

 Just as he swallows thickly the front doorbell rings. Hopefully it was Simone to Lucia and his rescue. He wishes that it could have been him to save the day…save Lucia. She of all people didn’t deserve this. Even though they got off to the wrong start when they first met, and his little crush non-withstanding, Johnny saw that Lucia was a good person who was put into the wrong family.

 Maybe Johnny could help her escape from this Solano hellhole.

Johnny blinks the thoughts away from his head. No. He needs to focus on what to do when he gets out of here. As well as his newfound goal of staying with Mike. This whole situation was going to add another thorn in Mike’s uptight side involving this case.

Just as he swallows thickly the front doorbell rings. Johnny questions Lucia on whomever it might be, and she clarifies its Simone. Johnny overhears a convo consisting of the guys asking for their guns from the front door.  Johnny sees a man with short haircut and a crisp suit answering back with, “Where’s Lucia?”

He doesn’t receive an answer, but he is let in the house, striding over to Lucia’s side inquiring about her state. Simone receives a stiff nod in response as he places a hand on her shoulder.

“I’m just glad you’re here.”

Johnny shifts uncomfortably in his seat as he notes the wavering in her voice.

This was all his fault.

He couldn’t protect her as well as he should have. She didn’t even feel at ease with him here. She still felt unsafe.

Simone suddenly orders their kidnappers cut them loose. A heated exchange begins as Pony-Tail paces over to them, questioning why Simone’s late and giving orders like he ran the place.  Simone replies that Solano Sr. would be very unpleased with how Lucia has been treated so horribly.  As Johnny expects, Simone ignores his presence for the time being. Lucia was the most important life to save here after all.

Short hair brushes past his boss, undoing the duct tape on Lucia’s wrists. To Johnny’s surprise, his wrists are unbound as well.

Pony Tail further questions on the whereabouts of the rifles he came for. Simone walks over to the suitcase he brought in, describing the weapons in detail.

Johnny seizes the two up, frown in place. How was he overpowered—

The sudden sounds of gunshots make Johnny instantly dive to the floor, grabbing Lucia first and foremost in his arms right away. He covers her head in his arms, pressing her to his chest. Johnny ducks his own head down, pressing it gently against Lucia’s head.

When he finally lifts Johnny lifts his head up, he sees three bodies lay dead by the front door pooling dark red blood around them.

 

~~~g-r-a-c-e-l-a-n-d~~~

 

He couldn’t leave her.

How could he?

As Simone’s and their two kidnappers lay cold in positions the two conversed over what to do. Cops might see the grisly scene and assume at first was a murder-suicide. Johnny said a small prayer for Lucia and his hero Simone for giving his life in the way he did.

Lucia didn’t want her friends involved. Didn’t want to hide away a hotel. Even didn’t want Johnny to stay with her to help.

But he couldn’t leave her.

Mike had to understand. This was what he wanted anyway right? Stay around her, find out what she knew? He hoped Mike would understand.

There was only one place to go anyway.

“Three months! Three months I don’t hear from you. And now you just _drop by_?”

Johnny twists and turns where he stood in front of his childhood home as he was being berated by his mom.  Memories of whippings he used to suffer as a child flashed in his mind briefly, once the yelling started. The memories stop, as he tries to make excuse after excuse the outside door opens interrupting him.

“No, no! What happened to your face?!” his mom quickly questions, turning his sore face this way and that.  She nods as she speaks, answering the rapid fire questions she asks, for him.

“You’re in trouble?”

“No, no,” Johnny tries to answer, wanting her to quiet down. “Nothing’s wrong. I promise.” He finally looks down into her eyes, willing her to believe. He mentally muses that even as he loved his mom, she still seemed somewhat scary and unapproachable even though he was much taller than her now.

“—But my friend…” Johnny turns so that he looks over at Lucia sitting in his car. “She needs a place to stay for the night.” This was the right thing to do. He needs to show Lucia that he can save her from--  


His mom stares back at him, raising an eyebrow.

“You bringin’ trouble into my home?” she accuses. Johnny looks at her with a hurt expression in place.

“Why you always gotta go there?”

 Johnny was the good kid of the family. Why won’t she accept that? Even though he can’t tell her he’s in the FBI, why does she have to assume he’s in a gang like his brother? Or was ever interested in gangs? Like he told Jakes a long time ago, he was jumped by gang members as a kid with the crime of not being a ‘real Mexican’. They hated that gangs never interested him and he never wanted to join the bloodbaths, so he stood out like a sore thumb.

 Johnny can’t wait until the day he retires, and hopefully his mom is still alive, where he can show her his videos of where he’s sharing with her all of the cases he’s worked on. Maybe then she’ll be proud of him.

Johnny stresses that Lucia was just a friend who was in need of some profound charity. Which was definitely true. She deserves it for all she’s been put through.

He practically jumps in the air for joy when his mom turns her back, to enter the house, saying, “Get in here,” in defeat.

He briefly wonders how she would respond if he brought Mike here to meet her.

 

~~~g-r-a-c-e-l-a-n-d~~~

 

The rest of the day was spent with his mom embarrassing him with childhood stories with Lucia.

As Johnny shares a beer with Lucia on the front porch, talking, he feels warm and happy. The evening air makes him smile, while an easy light-headed wave spreads through his brain. Just like a haze or a spell or---

That is until Lucia wonders out loud why Johnny would want business with Carlito. She is also wondering what angle he has with her.

He lets slip that he had none with her.

Why would he?

 

Later that night he meets with Jakes outside. He gets lightly grilled on the horror that transpired earlier that day. Once Jakes jokes on the subject of where Lucia probably ran off to after it, Johnny can’t help but clam up. Jakes senses just what Johnny has done, chastising him immediately.

“You’re putting your mom in serious danger,” Jakes continues to stress, after Johnny’s facial expression reveals that Lucia was lying asleep in his childhood home. Johnny can’t help but loudly whisper back that he of course had no choice. Where else could she go? Graceland wasn’t an option. Friends, nor a hotel was either.

So what if he mixed work and his personal life? Haven’t they all already?

If Jakes was pissed at this, then he really was going to flip if he ever found out what he and Mike were up to the past couple of weeks.

“Get rid of her man! Get rid of her,” Jakes grounds out, as Johnny relents over and over softly.

He walks into his room, pacing back and forth eyes wandering over Lucia’s presumably sleepy form. He turns once every which way, thinking if he should follow Jakes’ advice. He looks over at his Tupac poster.  Maybe Tupac would know what to do?

Not only had this case befuddled Johnny…but this growth in his heart--

He feels part of his heart roughly getting tugged in Lucia’s direction. He doesn’t forget the promise he made to himself for the sake of what he and Mike have together. Mike said he would try and Johnny made a silent promise to as well.

 That’s where that other part of his heart lies, of course. This whole _thing_ was a double sided emotional hazard. He knew Mike first…but this stranger named Lucia Solano, stepped into his life making an unforgettable claim on his existence. Speaking of which, Mike was also guilty of this crime. Ever since Johnny picked him up from the airport terminal. And Johnny missed him greatly when he left for D.C. Over the last campfire the gang had with Mike, Johnny told him he loved him, raising his beer bottle to salute him. The declaration wasn’t much of a rarity, but the timing of it was quietly accepted but stunning those who could hear him. Hence, his entire being twisting to the attention of two people. He wonders if this was how Mike felt when he was with Paige? Or even feels currently, _since_ his relationship with Paige? He doesn’t think Mike even---

He didn’t want to compare Lucia and Mike. They were two different souls. He couldn’t help it though as he openly stares down at Lucia.

 A man and a woman. Both of them beautiful. Both with contrasting but wonderful scents. One of them in the FBI, his colleague. Whereas the other was the daughter of a drug kingpin with a psychotic brother who was in deep like with Johnny. And not to mention, still has not made an appearance for quite some time now.

Johnny has already tasted Mike’s morning breath, argued with him, shared a space with him, slept next to him for a few evenings and mornings, touched him everywhere, left a few marks and vice-versa, both possessively claiming the other. With Lucia, he’s shared near death with only. A sparkling energy, different but similar, to Mike’s that drew him in. Even a shared kiss that Johnny felt the urge to-

He could go on and on as he why he lo--

But Lucia…she is-

And Mike…he is---

Johnny lets a hand wander to Lucia’s hip. She turns in his direction, as if sensing him there, her beautifully smoky eyes wide.

“What is it?” she asks groggily, looking at him with concern through the dim light of the room.

Johnny shakes his head, pursing his lips. “Nothing,” he replies somewhat sadly.

He bends down so that he is eye level with Lucia and his bed. He’s on his knees as if in a position of prayer.

Johnny leans in closer. He reaches a hand to Lucia’s face, stroking her cheek softly. He gazes at her adoringly continuing to brush her cheek with his thumb. Lucia reaches a hand out to his face to reciprocate the gesture.

She was so different yet similar to Mike. Not similar, but different too.

There were some things he desires to keep learning about her—

There were so many things wrong with this situation. He definitely had the chance or opportunity to get up from where he sat and go sleep on the couch---

But no.

He can’t and will not fight this anymore.

His heart had to be big enough to withstand this he hopes.

This pull was…currently _is_ too powerful.

Too right and too raw.

Johnny feels defeated, tired, hypocritical and yet yearning to keep touching Lucia. To somehow meld with her even more so.

Johnny feels destiny knocking at his door with another spell---

So—                   

He kisses her.

 


	6. Chapter 6

This jackass Joseph ‘Johnny’ Tuturro was going to ruin everything.

Jakes drew this conclusion based on everything he saw going on so far with this Solano/Markum case.

Thus far, the dude has managed to do three really stupid, unnecessary things to further deter everyone from their common goal. Sure, Jakes can admit he really screwed things up for himself and the rest of the gang earlier on.  It happened when he couldn’t keep a bottle out of his hands or Cassie and Daniel out of his mind. Or his head from butting upside Johnny’s in a drunken rage at the mention of the latter.

 Nevertheless, Jakes straightened himself out enough to be a better part of this takedown of the Solano’s and now a crooked L.A cop named Markum.

But anyway-

First, Johnny refused to listen to Jakes when he warned him to get rid of Lucia. Johnny had the simple task to just question her on where her brother went, or generalities of the Solano family business. But after that random ass three way murder at the Solano’s front door that priority went out the window. Of course, Jakes didn’t fault Johnny for that one. Just the dumb thing of where he actually bought Lucia into his MOTHER’S home. Who would do that to their mom?!  Bringing the daughter of one of the most dangerous drug cartel’s, after their main guy gets murdered right to their mom’s doorstep?

Johnny Tuturro that’s who.

Secondly, he refused to pick up his damn phone. It was definitely important for Johnny to answer. So very pertinent that Johnny answered his phone as Mike just finished questioning Jakes on how things were going on Johnny’s end. So that made two people he did not answer his phone for.

There was also something curious in the way Mike stared impatient daggers at Jakes when he phoned Johnny the first few times. All resulting in no answer from the other end. There was a large amount of worry in Mike’s gaze, of course.

 Understandable.

Being the guy in charge of a case such as this was a lot for someone to handle. Jakes didn’t envy him. The guy was already acting different from how Jakes remembered him from when he first arrived at Graceland. But then again, who was Jakes to dwell on behavior changes of other people.

It was just that… _something else_ in that look of worry Jakes couldn’t put his finger on at the time. A fleeting _something else_ , which made the normal expression of ‘worry’ seemed irregular for the situation.

Lastly, and currently that strange continued even moreso in regards Mike again, but with the addition of Johnny.

Something felt supremely _off_ about the energy between Johnny and Mike. Jakes felt and saw it when Johnny showed up a day or two later, still having not been answering his phone no less, back at Graceland. Jakes was posted at the doorway of Mike’s room, as Johnny was sitting on a desk while Mike was rummaging through one of his dressers. Mike was on his way back to the bunker where the girls were being held. He needed to dress the part again basically. The two of them barely kept eye contact with one another. One was staring hard, while the other looked away and at Jakes for some reason every so often. Weird, as if something needed to be said but something or someone was keeping one or the other from doing so-

Jakes was infuriated Johnny was for the umpteenth time making excuses on why he couldn’t take Lucia to Mexico.  Couldn’t, won’t, no desire to. Whatever. It was all holding this thing up and Johnny needed to cut this shit out. _Immediately._

“I’m just some dude these guys know,” Johnny answers, when Mike reaffirms that he was in the perfect place to be introduced to the Carlos Sr.

“You’re the best we got,” Jakes makes sure to add to Johnny’s wound.

“Thanks,” Johnny mutters sarcastically, before looking over at Mike again for a long period of time.  Jakes could see he was holding himself back from saying something else. But what?

Then Jakes and Mike make sure to go over their new plan of getting the Solano’s.  A new way or them to deliver and receive their drugs so that they could be caught in the act. Jakes can tell that Johnny was still resisting the progression of their plan.

As Mike leaves to add an expensive watch to his cover, Johnny saunters off to his own room but not before confessing his intense desire to not involve Lucia again.

Jakes gives a long stare in irritation, quickly following at Johnny’s heels.

When he finally corners Johnny in his room, they have a heated exchange over Johnny’s next unashamed confession of not only still having Lucia at his mother’s home but also sleeping with her.

Jakes makes sure to drill in Johnny’s thick skull that he jeopardized their investigation. Again. Even in the near future, when they’ll have to testify in court.

All of this could have been avoided if everyone just did their jobs.

And Johnny’s defiant attitude about the whole thing was pissing Jakes off big time.

“This stays between you and me,” Johnny has the audacity to request, after giving a shaky answer to Jakes’ question of him blowing his cover or not. Jakes doesn’t know why, but he finds himself mumbling an incoherent answer when Mike finds them and asks, “What’d I miss?”

It was for the best probably to keep this from Mike.

Probably not.

Jakes doesn’t have time to ponder anymore when he hears Mike declare a new way for Johnny to drag Lucia back to Mexico.

“How’s that?” Johnny asks, and Jakes notes the suspicion and weariness of his tone. There’s anger there too.

“I’m gonna make her a persons of interest in a triple homicide,” Mike answers with gusto and then promptly leaves the room.

Jakes looks over at Johnny and as expected a frown of worry crossed his features. There was some other thing though- Just heartbrokenness. Disbelief.

No, he couldn’t be? The way he looked at Mike walking away...And earlier before Mike went downstairs to get a watch for his costume? Johnny became speechless for a second when he turned to look at him while Mike just openly stared at him right back. The emotion that bounced off Johnny was like need. Or…? There was aggravation, yeah. However…No. No—

Stop, wait a minute—

Jakes blinks rapidly.

Why the hell did he care anyway?

Well, the weird energy between the two of them. It became suffocating almost on top of the knowledge Jakes knew about Johnny not focusing properly with this case.  But he way Johnny couldn’t take his eyes off Mike. Even Mike got distracted when he needed to add a new prop to his costume, Johnny’s eyes still following him. Johnny’s face contorted in half belligerence….half _other—_

…..

He had a feeling that Johnny cared for Lucia more than he was supposed to earlier on...but now it seemed transferred…or was it already there? In Mike’s direction.  Then he admits to sleeping with her.

Which was by the way sooo shocking by the way…but no not really.

Not only that, Jakes’ mind wanders for some reason to  how Johnny was already comfortably sitting in Mike’s room for who knows how long, before Jakes even got there. He knows they are friends but—

Something just didn’t add up.

If Jakes didn’t know any better…or let his imagination run away with him then—

Jakes suddenly feels Johnny’s eyes look over at him, face drawn down in a pout. As if he was expecting Jakes to make the situation better or something. He was trying to, but Johnny keeps voluntarily screwing up each time! This was all his fault, so he needed to grow up and fix it and keep it in his pants and-

To Jakes’ surprise Johnny had gotten up and left the room when he wasn’t looking. Jakes sighs, going out the door, expecting to find Johnny going down the stairs. But for some reason he finds Mike coming up the stairs. Johnny must’ve disappeared out of thin air. Hopefully he teleported himself back to his mother’s place to get Lucia out of there. Jakes peeks around the corner of Johnny’s door just as Mike looks around. Who is he looking for? Wasn’t he supposed to-

Maybe he forgot something.

So, Jakes strolls out of Johnny’s room…causing Mike to nearly jump out of his skin when he spots him-?

What the-?

Jakes eyes him curiously as Mike returns with a tight smile and nod. He opens the door of his room, only slightly and practically zips in his room, slamming the door closed.

Jakes just stares at the door, blinks and then shakes his head.

“Unbelievable,” he mumbles to himself, rolling his eyes at the ceiling. Mike wanted a rush on this, but now he has time to go in his room. And Johnny leaving without confirming where he was going too. He wonders if Briggs, Charlie and Paige are where they’re supposed to be.

This case didn’t seem to be ending fast enough.

Dammit Johnny.  And Mike too. And everyone else. And himself for sticking his neck out again for a group of people who made Jakes care for them.

This absolutely wasn’t part of the plan he made when he chose to live at Graceland.


	7. Chapter 7

Mike didn’t expect to see Johnny gazing at him, with contempt, when he turned around after closing the door to his room.

“Hey,” Mike greets gently.

Johnny continues staring at him, even as Mike crosses the room to stand in front of him. There’s no happiness, or usual Johnny jubilance anywhere on his person. Who was this person sitting on his bed?

What did Mike do to bring this stranger out?

Mike looks back at him, moving forward a little more so that he rests his hand on Johnny’s shoulders. Johnny leans back a little, looking around the room with a distracted expression on his face.

And thus—

Mike had to conclude to himself that Johnny was extremely off. He couldn’t say or do what he felt earlier when they were with Jakes. Thankfully he found Johnny waiting in his room. He was hoping they could be alone to touch base with one another.

“Did something happen?” Mike asks, stepping back a little. He could still feel a strange resistance emanating from Johnny.

“Mike…is there really no other way?” Johnny huffs, finally looking Mike in the eyes and it takes Mike aback. What is he-?

“No other way for what? What are talking about? C’mon just say-”

Johnny continues giving him the same, ‘are you kidding me?’ look. There’s so much pain penetrating through his entire being it practically knocks Mike off his feet. Mike chooses to just bury his face in his hands groaning softly. Why did this feel exactly like talking to Paige awhile ago about how he couldn’t get those girls out sooner?

What happened days ago when he and Johnny were good? When they were in the bathroom, then Johnny had to go to the Solano’s? What happened to Johnny in that time?

And this new plan they went over with Jakes-

It was foolproof.

Why couldn’t everyone just do as Mike asked of them so this could be over and done with?! They could go on with the rest of their lives sooner if everyone just did what he said, when he said it.

He lifts his head up after a minute. He feels his head starting to throb.

“What is _wrong_ Johnny? Just tell me.”

They never had this much tension between them when they were just friends. But Mike was determined to make this work out best for both of them. It was apparent that things were over with Paige and him for a long time now. Well not such a long time.  

“With Lucia. Is there really no other way for me to…do we have to bring her to Mexico?”

Mike sighs. This again.

And Johnny. He cares so much for people. But like Paige, he was going to give Mike a hard time about this. He thought Johnny would be the one to keep him grounded…would encourage him…help him feel loved and not hated.

“Look, I get it. You care-”

“You said that. Earlier.”

Mike stops.

 Yeah he did, didn’t he?

“But I do get it. We just-”

“It’s bullshit.”

“ _What_?”

“Nothing.”

Did he just say-?

“John, if there was another way I swear we’d do it. I’d do it. But Lucia, she has to take you to Mexico. Jakes and I explained this to you. Why we needed to do it this way.”

Johnny answers by gazing away from Mike for a second. Mike notices it’s done in a deeply dejected manner. More crestfallen than Mike has ever seen him in a long time.

It wasn’t natural.

Johnny looks back up at him in pure agony suddenly as he says, “I know that Mike. And I know you won’t stop until we put the bad guys away-but Lucia. She…she isn’t like them.” He shakes his head sadly at Mike, while taking the bottom part of Mike’s shirt between his fingers. Mike can tell he wants to say something else, but continues his silent focusing on Mike’s eyes.

Mike didn’t know much about Lucia.

Based on her file, Mike knew that Lucia usually stayed clear of her father and brother’s daily dealings. The murder, drugs and mayhem had just Carlos Sr. and Carlito written all over it. Then this other shady business with Markham, attaching himself to the Solano clan.

Mike couldn’t _wait_ to catch his shady ass.

How dare he call himself someone of the law. How dare he vow to protect and serve the public when he was giving them the tools needed for their own slow execution? No, their _suicide_.

The smarmy bastard was out taking advantage of innocent girls too. These poor girls only wanted a slice of the American Pie, to better their own lives… And using them as property?! To use them as cattle to push drugs around state lines?!  To pump into the streets and kill the young, deluded and uninformed on a daily basis... It all pissed Mike off to the highest degree.

Unfortunately, it was routine.  He saw a similar situation when he was shadowing Bello way back when. Seeing ‘how the sausage was made’ and nearly getting himself killed for it.

So, by proxy, The Solanos and Markham were guilty of everything…so all of them and their associates had to go down.

 “--ike. Mike?”

Mike wakes up out of his reverie to find Johnny watching him in concern. The previous look of disenchantment melted off his face when Mike wasn’t looking. However, there was an edge of something else gripping at Johnny’s expression.  

Johnny rises out of where he sat, leaving to Mike brace himself for whatever.

A swing, being cursed out- Maybe both.

“I better go before you eat me or something.”

“Wh- _What_?” Mike sputters, feeling himself laugh, but he clears his throat to cover it. He definitely wasn’t expecting that response from Johnny. “Eat you?”

“Yeah, you don’t hear your stomach growling?”

Mike looks down at his stomach the exact moment a large rumble came bounding through his insides.

“Oh-“

He’s in further shock when Johnny brushes his lips against his cheek, then his mouth briefly. Mike licks his lips, gaping at Johnny. He notices Johnny’s keeping somewhat of a distance still and Mike doesn’t like it.

So-

He grabs Johnny by the arm, ignoring the fleeting look of amusement on Johnny’s face. They have to talk about this more. Us…this…-themselves, more. Whatever happened, they could fix it. Mike _knew_ they should try-

“John, _stay_.”

Johnny bites the corner of his lip, staring unblinkingly back at Mike.

 Why is he acting so strange? He was the one who needed to keep Mike sane.

Johnny smirks faintly, as he comments, “I get it Mike. I was…Don’t I have to, like, _go-_?”

GUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

He’s interrupted this time, by Mike’s obnoxiously growling stomach. Mike jumps away from Johnny, self-conscious now. How did he not hear it earlier?

“We can go eat together downstairs…or something. Before I leave. If you wanna,”Johnny suggests softly, fidgeting a bit where he stands. Mike doesn’t know how to answer him. He feels more relieved though at the question and Johnny’s current mood. Except, Mike could tell a bit of melancholy tapering around them both. Before he knows it, Johnny reaches a hand out to him, dragging him closer, by the neck, so that their temples and foreheads slightly touched. Mike caught a whiff of him earlier when they were with Jakes, but being in closer proximity like this…Mike enjoyed the entrancing flowery soap even more. Maybe if they had the time they could finally show-

“C’mon _el pulpo_ ,” Johnny muses, narrowing his eyes in the playful manner Mike always loved. He wraps the rest of his arm around Mike’s shoulders, pulling Mike along with him to the closed door of the room. “Let’s go get something in you. Can’t have you dying on me.”


	8. Chapter 8

Johnny smiles at the name gracing his vibrating phone's screen.

"Hey Mikey-" Johnny says into the phone quietly. He turns over on his side to plug the attached headphones into his ears. He hopes no one is eavesdropping at the door or anything. Because this is that type of a place, even late at night. So, to be on the safe side he continues speaking quietly. "Wassup?"

"Just checking up on you… to see if everything went okay with taking Lucia to Mexico…?"

"Things are okay over here," Johnny voices, as his stomach turns into knots. It was sweet that Mike expresses concern for him. However, back at the house when going over the plan he felt cornered. He slept with Lucia. He had an aching feeling in him ever since he got back to Graceland. He didn't regret sleeping with her. That wasn't it. Johnny just loathes the triple-double-decker amount of secrets hidden from Mike. And the fact that he gave Mike somewhat of the cold shoulder because he couldn't stand the idea of throwing Lucia in jail along with Carlito. He regrets the prospect of hurting Mike with the new information really.

"Carlito isn't giving you a hard time, is he?"

"Um-," Johnny begins. He thinks back to a few hours ago when he arrived at the Solano compound. Carlito made a show of not wanting to leave Johnny unattended. Johnny had to bluff his way through Carlito's come-ons with excuses that Carlos Sr was in the house. Which wasn't exactly untrue. 'Intimidating' was too weak of a word to describe Carlos Senor. The favor, or karma more or less, was returned to Johnny when he got alone with Lucia for a few seconds. He hopes he gets to spend more time with her. If he can't be with Mike now, at least he could be around Lucia for the time being.

A strange crinkly feeling in Johnny's stomach began at the thought. Deceiving Mike like this…well, not admitting certain things was for the best for now. He felt like a cheater though, even if he and Mike haven't laid bare the blueprints of their relationship. He couldn't help it. He felt so in tune with both Lucia and Mike. There was no way around that.

"Nothing I can't handle," Johnny continues. He smirks even though Mike obviously can't see him. "Why, wanna beat him up for me if he is?"

"Why would I need to do that? You said you've got it handled," Johnny hears him reply. He sounds worried even though Johnny was mostly joking with his comment.

"You beat Briggs up for me that time he made you thought I was dead," Johnny says, making sure his tone is teasing. "Like you were defending my honor or something."

"I didn't-"

"Dude, you punched Briggs. Paul friggin' Briggs. He went flying across the room into those metal cabin-"

"Okay, alright…I was angry he manipulated me like that for a case. Especially using you to do it. It wasn't right-"

"-Was the first time I knew you cared about me," Johnny interrupts. He wonders why they're having this convo on the phone and not in person. Why haven't they talked about this earlier?

"Johnny, I-"

"I mean…you were always so serious and focused, not only on that case. I dunno man. Like, you were always inside yourself, even though we hung out sometimes. You were stuck in your shell...but not like how Jakes is. I didn't know how much you thought about me until then. I knew you cared…but like that?"

It was really eye-opening to see Mike express such a large amount of emotion back then. Johnny found himself attached at Mike's hip from the beginning, when they first met. Sometimes it felt as though he was bothering the guy involuntarily. Other times Johnny bugged him on purpose, of course. Just to show he cared about him as a co-worker, colleague or whatever friendship feelings he had. Johnny knows he's like that with everyone he likes in that way but not that way until he becomes too attached to them. Great examples of that are; Mike, Lucia and some previous exes he would rather not think about now-

"Yo, why didn't you tell me that night you didn't know where Paige was?" Johnny asks, wanting to change the subject. He thought he and Paige were still together when Mike came to visit his room that night. Johnny ASSumed he was lying when he questioned him on it.

"I just thought she and Jakes would get back to me later with their end of the case. Like you did. I was worried, but I didn't know what to do. Sorry, I should've said something-"

Johnny rubs his face into the pillow beneath his head groaning in shame. 

Great, now he feels even more of an asshole about all this.

There's silence on the other end of the line as Johnny waits for further signs of life. He overhears Mike sigh in evident relief before speaking again.

"I've always cared about you John. C'mon, you were my first friend at Graceland. Why wouldn't I?"

"Love you Mikey," Johnny blurts out, meaning it with all his heart. He's happy had a chance to talk to Mike. Even though they ate together before Johnny went back to convince Lucia back over the border, they didn't really talk. He begins feeling pangs of guilt etching itself into his chest again though. He can't tell him.

"Love you too."

"Hmm…what?" Johnny gasps.

"I said…I love you. 'Night."

"Whoa, wait a min-" Johnny says, sitting up a little. That's the first time he's heard the guy confess his affection for him so fully like that. "Mike?"

He hears a dial tone. He's gone.

Later in the day, after Johnny talks with Carlos Senor, he tries to call Mike.

He doesn't pick up.


	9. Chapter 9

There’s red everywhere.  

It’s a sauce of tomato, onions, brioche and many other secret delicious things stewing for 3 days by Catherine ‘Chuck’ DeMarco’s hands.

 All for her little family. Her family at Graceland, all of which didn’t seem to appreciate it. None of them did not appreciate it whatsoever.  

They chose to throw passive aggressive digs at each other about who knows what, instead of parking in lovely dinner that contained pieces of Charlie’s soul.

So, Chuck dumped it.

All over the table. Why _should_ they care? They could have finally been enjoying Sauce Night. Charlie didn’t have to do this for any of them ever again after this-

Oh and this new development of the soap opera of Mike and Johnny-

Currently, she watches Johnny cautiously. She saw him stare at Mike who looked worn out and heartbroken all the while avoiding Johnny’s sad gaze. Paige was looking everywhere but at Mike. As she watched the melodrama she could feel Jakes’ eyes on her, looking back and forth between Johnny and Mike. She gets up, after giving one last glance in Paige’s direction before trailing after Paul.

It was only mere minutes before Johnny took in a large breath to announce;

 “I’m in love with Lucia---”

“ _Johnny!”_

“I’ve been sleeping with her this whole time.”

Chuck groaned after it happened, closing her eyes and covering her forehead because she could feel a headache coming on.

How did Johnny manage to fall for _two_ people?

It’s one person too many for the already complex lives they lived. Especially that she’s the daughter of a drug lord, whom they’re gunning for.

How did Charlie not see this shit coming?

Johnny had been acting different ever since he was chauffeuring Lucia around. Mike had been more agitated. It wasn’t at all like when she caught them together those few times…

She told him not hurt Mike. He had enough on his plate. They all did.

While she was in the middle of grilling Briggs someone sprinted past her up the stairs. From the back of them, Charlie had to deduct it was Mike. His shoulders were squared, tense. Anger was evident from him slamming his door shut.

Not a second later Johnny runs past them, up the stairs and presumably throwing Mike’s door open before slamming it closed.

“Young love huh?” Briggs tells her, raising his eyebrows in the direction of their blond leader’s tantrum. Chuck turns to him slowly, not wanting to let him off the hook of their earlier discussion, but-

“How’d you know?” she replies, with a hint of accusation in her tone.

Briggs just shrugs, which annoys Charlie further.

“I saw something…a couple of days back. Even if I doubted what I saw, you just confirmed it for me,” Briggs continues, as he crosses his arms. Charlie just stares at him blankly, even more pissed off.

 How does he know everything about everyone? Yet no one knows a thing about him?

Or he _thinks_ no one knows about him.

Even better, the fact that those secrets and information is what thinks he has a right to keep from everyone else, all the while infiltrating into everyone else’s secrets.

All the secrets and lies in this house-

What did he mean by ‘Young love’ anyhow? Charlie wasn’t much older than Johnny and Mike. Briggs was the old goat here.

“I told him to be careful-“Charlie offers, shaking her head. She hears tinny sounds of arguing coming from Mike’s room.

Ooh boy.

How does Paige not know about this seriously?  

Charlie wonders for a second if Jakes has it figured out yet.

“Doesn’t look like either of them followed your advice,” Briggs says casually.

Smug bastard.

“They ain't the only ones,” Charlie replies, narrowing her eyes at him.


	10. Chapter 10

Forty-seven.

 

"…Time of death is…."

 

Joseph. Tuturro. John. Johnny.

 

Johnny, why did he make Johnny fall for him so hard?

 

"…It's your favorite flavor Mikey. Now, Michael don't tell your mother, she'll think you're spoiling your appetite…"

 

Who was Michael Warren, who remembers him?

 

What did he do? Did he know of spiritual vibrations-

 

" _Scratch that_! All hands on deck!"

 

Four four seven? Hmm, perhaps.

 

The Bureau might know, they've written of everyone else, but who will remember them..?

 

To divide people towards awareness. Yes, that could be-

 

If only he didn't leave Graceland?

Just stayed where he had his very own little family, apart from scrounging up the one he had on the East Coast?

 

Perhaps if he didn't arrange the bank robbery, trying to trap Sid…

Maybe if he…

47

Why did he take his resentment out on everyone when he came back?

 

Briggs shot her to save him.

 

Hector's Tacos was the best.

 

If only he willed himself to fight past his boundaries, save those girls sooner…

 

"…I love you…"

 

If only he didn't let Paige twist his arm so much…Lena wouldn't be dead-

 

He should have killed him.

 

Why did he sleep with Paige so quickly?

Why was he with Jessica?

 

Undoubtedly. Why didn't Johnny run from him at first signs of instability?

 

If only he let this cold darkness envelop him sooner…

 

Why did he push Jakes, so hard. He's as troubled as you...as him. He is.

 

They  _allll_ are Warren.

 

Nope, sorry. It's not divine reign.

He didn't have to be so hard on Briggs…on any of them-

 

Inner chaos. A sort of theory.

 

Perhaps…he could've kept his argument to himself and finally enjoyed Sauce Night.

Just like Chuck wanted.

 

The smell of burning flesh again.

 

His suspicions of Briggs-

Was it all really worth it?

Charlie. Chcuk.

 

"…CLEAR!..."

 

.John.

He called you _El Pulpo_ because-

 

Six angels fallen from the land of grace with broken wings.

 

Now, maybe if he didn't-

 

Johnny why couldn't he be with Johnny sooner-much sooner.

 

Now they've-

Tell Paige the truth.

 

"Read Pslam's 47…when you have the chance. It could be important…The number of the law thing-"

 

No, you don't need Silver.

 

DJ. Dale Jakes. Jakes. Jakes. Briggs. Paul. Charlie.

To be so enlightened previously to be in enlightement quicker-faster.

 

STRONGER.

 

Even with karma nipping at his heels. Divine retribution of an archangel maybe. Unbalanced.

"…I love you…"

…He should have allowed this sunshine to devour him sooner…

 

A light brighter than he's ever seen before. Blinding.

Like a weary sailor to a lighthouse.

 

Nineteen.

 

No choice but to step further.

The steps of transformation…then justice and then trials-

There is a figure there… Maybe they can help you? Could help you. Ask them.

Not too late.

 

The smell of flowery soap. The taste of laughing lips.

 

Each of the six broken winged angels fell only once per minute, did you know that?

Hmm.

 

So many miracles. Only need a master number to unlock them all.

 

Circle it.

 

Which light shows the way to me?

 

Arise.

 

"…Andddd he's back…"

 

Lazarus, come forth.


	11. Chapter 11

"You died."

"Yeah."

"For SIX minutes."

"Mhm."

"Mike."

Mike’s eyes drift up to Johnny for the first time since he’s been here. He’s holding a plastic bag in his arms, and sad expression on his face.

Mike was beginning to feel so drained, even though he was lying down. His doctors were preforming more tests on him during the day and the day before when Briggs visited him. Thankfully, it was the last round of tests. The meds were having a great effect on his stomach pains for the past two hours or so. The unfortunate thing about it though was that he didn’t want to lose consciousness with Johnny here.

Johnny took the time out of his life to visit Mike here in the hospital, even with their huge blowup after Sauce night and ignoring each other at the bank robbery thing. The cold shouldering lasted well until Mike was shot, left for dead and then assassinated by Sid via Paige.

Anyway-

This was Johnny’s third visit here, Mike was positive. Mike heard him while he was sleeping for his first visit…he was sure of it. The second time was when the entire group was together, except for Paige, to visit Mike. Mike was halfway out of it, but he knew who was there and who wasn’t. His crazy dreams helped him in that way somehow.

"Can..I?" Johnny asks quietly, as he steps closer to the bed. Mike just realizes how far away he’s standing from him and it hurts.

_“All this proves is that I’m not enough for you Johnny!”_

Not really understanding what Johnny was saying, but Mike nods anyway.

He’s surprised by Johnny moving closer to him, hovering over his form. He’s even more surprised when Johnny hugs him, holding him tight for a few moments.

This was the most physically contact he’s had with Johnny for weeks. It feels great, but-

 “Too tight John,” Mike croaks. He clears his throat as Johnny moves away from him in an awkward manner. He instead sits on the edge of the bed, eying Mike in obvious concern.

"Dude, you got stabbed in that exact same spot. Literally. Right there," Johnny says, shaking his head and pointing at said spot.

Mike nods weakly, slightly amused by Johnny's sleuthing. He's happy to see him. He's always happy to see him and find that he could count on him.

_“I still love you Mike! Why can’t you see that?!”_

_“How long did you think you could keep this from me Johnny?! You jeopardized this whole case!! And not only that you-“_

_“Forget about the case, you’re only mad I didn’t tell you being in love with Lucia. Well my bad, now you know -“_

_“A simple ’my bad’ won’t fix this Johnny!”_

 Mike had to admit he still feels heartbroken over it.

His eyes focus on what Johnny’s holding in his arms again.

“You didn’t have to bring me anything Johnny.”

"Just 'cause we're 'on break' means I can't bring you nothing?" Johnny inquires, taking the items he held out of the bag.

Oh no.

"I didn't say that-"

It just makes Mike feel guilt stricken…like 100 times over.

How could Johnny even want to give him anything to make him feel better?  

Mike knew he didn’t deserve it.

Reason number one; the horrible argument they had. Mike blames himself for not taking a more mature route on that. And two, for demanding they break up until Johnny picked who he wanted more. The pain on Johnny’s face was too much. But like the big jerk he was acting like during the time, Mike continued on.

_“That’s not right Mike! I love you…I love both of you…I can’t just pick-”_

_“Then I’ll help you! We stay away from each other, and you can be with who you really want…”_

"Okay then…here,” Johnny murmurs, as he places a familiar looking teddy bear next to Mike’s head.

Mike smiles in spite of it all. He looks at its adorable face not knowing how to respond.

"Did you ever name him?" Johnny questions, looking down at it fondly.

"I just named him ‘Bear’,” Mike admits, shrugging a little. It was nice seeing two familiar faces around here today. Mike had to assume everyone else was busy to see him today.  

"Pssft ‘ _Bear_ ’? You gotta think of a better name than that Mikey."

"Well it’s simple, so we won't forget it."

"Something Mexican, since one of his parents is Mexican," Johnny conjectures, with a grin.

"John-"

"Or something Anglo-Saxon,  like you. Your choice."

"And who gave birth to the bear exactly?"

"Sure as hell wasn't me. You were in the one in the hospital."

Right. That’s makes total since considering Johnny has never-

"Nice,” Mike expresses, rolling eyes while a small smile tugs at his lips. He looks up at Johnny to find him staring at him. He can’t read his expression this time, but another thought crosses his mind.

 “Johnny, was this the third time you’ve visited me?” Mike questions, blinking rapidly and sniffing. “I mean, before you and the other guys came to visit?”

 Everyone except for Paige that is. Mike understood why she wasn’t here. He went through so many different emotions after finding out what she did. Anger, denial, hurt and anger again at her cowardice…now he’s borderline forgiveness despite Briggs’ warnings. He’s just about there at forgiveness. Very nearly there.

Figuring this out seems so important right now. Mike has to know the answer so he can move forward with learning from his mistakes. He let everyone he loved and cared about down. And to be further cliché, he let himself down.  

However, Mike’s so sure he heard Johnny’s voice scrambling along with other people’s…like his doctors and Briggs…he thought.

 “Yeah, why? Did you hear me?” Johnny asks distractedly.

“What did you say?”

“What do you think I said?”

“That you loved me…I could have been wrong though-“

Johnny looks sad for a moment. “Yeah, probably a memory. I do say it all the time to-I mean. I did say it-”

“I’m not dead John,” Mike assures.

“I know. We established you died for six minutes. You tryin’ to get street cred?” Johnny relays, with a smile. It’s a smile, however, there’s barely any light there.

Mike shifts a bit, trying to sit up. “Johnny, I’m-“

“Don’t worry about it Mike. We had a good thing…and we can have it again,” Johnny amends, brushing one of Mike’s bangs from his eyes.

_“Lucia’s not a criminal Mike! You don’t even know her, like I know her!”_

“I don’t want to hurt you anymore-”

“How don’t you see you’re hurting me now Mikey?”

“Johnny, _I_ -!?”

Mike suddenly gasps in pain. He holds an arm over his stomach in a futile attempt to calm it. It feels like someone’s wrenching a rusted knife in his stomach.

He feels Johnny stroking his hair and forehead, attempting to soothe him.  Mike can feel himself having trouble breathing as he tries to keep himself from pressing the morphine streamline. He already used it when Briggs was here. He was encouraging Mike to fight through the pain-but. It was so hard not to use the medicine- _his_ medicine… when it was _right there_.

“Mikey,” he hears Johnny whisper to him. Mike can’t see through the pain produced tears in his eyes, but he’s certain Johnny is watching him fearfully.

Mike grunts and then sighs as he finally pushes the button.

Instant euphoria.

 Johnny kisses his temple before sighing in relief. He mumbles an apology right after, which makes Mike feel guilty again.

Nevertheless, Johnny still sticks close to Mike by pressing his forehead to Mike’s temple.

The pain’s all gone, in Mike’s stomach only, but his vision is still as hazy as his mind.

“Do what you gotta do Mike. Take it whenever you need to. It’s there for a reason.”


	12. Chapter 12

They’re under the stairs, off to the left near the kitchen when she finds them.

Well, _found_ them.

It’s like they’re in a state she’s never seen them before this moment, in all the combined years she’s known them.

Parting from a slow kiss.

Yet, pressed together still. And huddled, as if they’re sharing some secret only they know.

She almost missed it on her way out. She didn’t want to accidentally bump into him after last night. Even though they all cleaned the house together. That was still too close.

While passing on to the living room she heard a soft sigh, following by a muffled laugh that made her head turn in that general direction.

Curiosity got the best of her.

She found; Johnny with an arm wrapped around Mike’s waist, while Mike just lets himself be slumped against the wall. Johnny is practically carrying him somehow. Albeit, he was helping Mike down the stairs and they somehow ended up here.

Which was an even stranger sight to behold. Mike, letting someone hold _him_ like that? Propped up against the wall? In control over _him_?

She hears Mike make a shallow breath before speaking.

“You shouldn’t have done that Johnny,” she hears him warn. There’s some semblance of amusement in his tone. Just a little bit.  It was kinda hard to hear at first because it mixes with the overall sadness in his tone.

The dark smirk Johnny’s mouth splits into makes her stomach turn however.

“Oh really? Seemed like the perfect thing to do,” she now hears Johnny confess. Mike seems to be gripping tighter on Johnny’s clothes to prop himself up better.

They way Johnny looks at him-

The way Mike looks at Johnny-

She can’t believe it.

He was like a brother to her-how could he even be-?

They’re in a little world of their own… even after all that’s happened.

 After all that’s currently going on _right now._

Even with all that Mike’s done…all that she’s done to Mike. How is he still able to cling to someone like that?

A few red flags that previously crossed her mind days ago, were now set ablaze. Things that most definitely proved the existence of this coupling.

Paige can’t stay for a second show of their mouths intertwining, so she bolts out of the house for some fresh air for a few hours.

Her transfer can’t come soon enough. 


	13. Chapter 13

"Yo, can we talk?" Johnny asks, as he approaches the couch.

The person he was looking for is sitting there, surrounded by papers and bandages.  No one else seemed to be around but her, thankfully.

Paige had been acting so strange lately. That included the other night when-

"I'm kinda in the middle of something Johnny."

"Yeah, that looks really-what is that?" Johnny inquires, hoping to inspire more conversation with her.

They were so close before. He doubts she found out about what Mike and himself had going on. He doesn’t think she’d give him the silent treatment over something like that.

Could she?

"It’s nothing for you to worry about Johnny. Or anyone else for that matter."

Johnny feels unwanted suddenly, but he pushes through it to try to talk to his friend anyway.

So, he sits next to her on the couch. 

To his surprise she moves away a few inches from him.  

"You really wanted to kill yourself?" Johnny blurts out, feeling his eyes become watery.  

Why was she so mad at him right now? She’s the sister he’s never had.  Even though he went behind her back in a way to sleep with Mike…they could work through that thought once she finds out.

He just wanted to talk about that night.

"I don't want to talk about it Johnny. I'm busy,” Paige interrupts, as she gathers up her paperwork.

"Paige, c'mon. What’s up with you? Paige?" Johnny questions, watching her with a frown.

She’s quickening her pace now. Not to mention she’s continuing to avoid eye contact and space with him.  

"I can't work here,” she mumbles in a snort in aggravation.  “I just can’t-”

"I almost saw you die Paige! How do you think I'm supposed to feel? You even asked me to be there-!"Johnny relays. He feels heartbroken. “Now, you transferring out?! Why?”

He thinks back to when he saw the horror at the Solano's house and wanting to take a long hot shower when he got back home. Unfortunately, Paige was there to rush him right back out the house with the promise of Sid's confession as well as capture. He was more than eager to join Paige then.

Thankfully, Charlie and Mike stepped in. If they didn't, Johnny would have witnessed an _irreversible_ horror that night. One that would haunt his dreams for the rest of his life.

"Oh _man up_ Johnny. It wouldn’t have been the first time you’d see someone die."

Johnny thought she was joking at first, until he saw the look on her face.

What the hell? Is she-? How could she say that, when she-?

A rush of disappointment and agony flowed through him as he tried to stop himself from saying the unspeakable.

"How about you woman up P and face whatever problems you have instead of trying to-"

But too late.

Everything, including Paige, was pissing him off all at once.

She turns to him slowly, staring at him unblinkingly. The look she’s giving Johnny is unreadable to say the least. It makes him feel cold all over.

"Stay out of my way Johnny. Maybe you and Mike can take turns crying on each other's shoulders about it. You've been doing everything else with each other. I'm guessing Carlito wasn't enough for you?"

Johnny freezes and then rises from his seat as he tilts his head to the side.

"Excuse me?"


	14. Chapter 14

“PAIGE NO!!”

 

Charlie has never expected to break up an actual fight between Paige and Johnny. Charlie wasn't expecting to break up an actual fight between Paige and Johnny.  Not in millions or trillions of years.

Mike and Briggs? There's a great possibility in that happening again.

Jakes and Johnny? Most definitely.

 

But this? Nope. Not this.  

 

Charlie was on her way to step out for some ice cream when she heard yelling, someone possibly being slapped, and then loud crashes coming from the living room. She nearly collided with Jakes who was also sprinting in the same direction after hearing the same crashes and arguing.  

That's how she found herself holding Paige back. She found her kneeing Johnny in stomach, while Johnny make successful tries at putting her in a headlock as he tried kicking her legs away. Paige was holding onto Johnny's legs for dear life before Jakes successfully pried Johnny off her.  She took a good shot at Johnny’s face before that could even happen.

Charlie had to admit she instantly felt herself in her parents’ shoes for when they had to pull apart her brothers, herself and cousins from fighting like cats and dogs in their youth at family gatherings.  They weren’t supposed to treat each other like this. They were supposed to be better than that now.

"No PAIGE-! Paige, honey, you gotta stop-!" Charlie starts to say soothingly before needing to duck when Paige's elbow almost connects with her nose.  She holds her back by her arms until she squirms away a few times. And Charlie’s were arms getting scratched up from doing so.  

"Paige! Johnny!! Break it up!!" Charlie bellows, getting ahold of Paige as she bucks and kicks wildly.    "Paige!"

 "Swear to god Paige don't put your hands on me again!" Johnny yells, also struggling out of Jakes' hold. Charlie could see that Jakes was failing at keeping a firmer grasp on him. Johnny face was red, steam practically coming out of his ears. Paige likewise.

 What the hell happened here?!

 It didn’t seem like an all-out brawl at first... It was almost like two siblings fighting maybe.

Still it hurt to watch.

“TO HELL WITH YOU PAIGE!”

"Screw you Johnny! Charlie, LET ME GO! NOW!"

"Yo Johnny!! C’mon man!" Jakes grunts, through clenched teeth. Charlie instantly feels sorry for him because he’s usually a fair match against Johnny even though he’s smaller than him.

"Take your ass outta here Paige! No one wants you here anyway! Not me, not Charlie, not Mi-MMF!" Jakes suddenly covers Johnny’s mouth, as he continues restraining him from behind and shushes him again.  

"Shut the hell up Johnny!" Jakes yells, making more tries to drag Johnny out of the room.

"Paige stop it! Get him out of here!" Charlie shouts over the streams of curses coming from both parties.  

"Get off me Charlie!" Paige yells, her voice beginning to crackle into cries.

Charlie only holds her closer, feeling her start to lessen her struggle. She winces again when she feels Paige's nails digging into her arms. So steers her towards the stairs, but she escapes, running to the front door instead.  

"Oh yeah, that's great. Awesome guys. Paige is the victim, when she started this shit!" Johnny bellows, pacing around with Jakes still blocking him. “I bet you she won’t even apologize!”

Paige looks back briefly, hurt written all over her face before flinging the door open to run out of it.

"That's right, run Paige!"

 "Shut up Johnny, man!"

"Jakes, take him to his room!"  Charlie orders. She makes a move to block the door in case Johnny runs after Paige. She hates the thought even crosses her mind. Johnny isn’t that type of person. But she can’t believe what she here today. She’s seen him lose his cool with Jakes that harshly once, years ago.

"Don't you see I'm trying!?"

 "Let me go! I can go by myself!" Johnny argues, struggling off Jakes' hands. “ _’Johnny’s messed up again’_. ‘ _Look, Johnny screwed up again_ ’! I’m sick of hearing this shit!”

“Then stop doing stupid shit and we wouldn’t have to tell you you’re doing-“

“Jakes, _don’t_ ,” Charlie warns lightly. She feels out of breath now.

Jakes blocks Johnny’s way as he stares him down, ready to grab him again if he has to. Charlie flanks his left side, prepared to do the same.

Johnny looks at Charlie and Jakes, furious and sad at the same time. Charlie reaches out to him but he shakes his head sadly before bounding up the stairs. At the same time, Charlie hears a car start and pull off from outside.  

"Think one of us should follow her?" Jakes expresses, looking just as worn out as he sounds. "Or him?"

 "No," Charlie decides. "Let's give them some space."

Then again, the thought of Paige doing something stupid like trying to get herself killed again crosses Charlie's mind. If she and Johnny's argument was about that, based on the strings of words she heard before she jumped in, then he had every right to be angry. They all should be upset really. The gaping hole in all of their lives that would appear if Charlie and Mike hadn't stepped in when they did-?

They loved Paige. Why?  How could she try doing such a thing to herself? To all of them?

 "You okay? Wow, she really-" Jakes murmurs, trying to examine Charlie’s arms, but she lightly bristles from the contact. She was slightly shaken up from the whole thing, no matter how brief it was. She placed a hand on her stomach, closing her eyes as she breathes slowly through her nose.  

 "She didn't mean it-I'm fine-"

 Jakes just sighs, rubbing the back of his head while looking around. "Didn’t we _just_ clean this place-?"

"I’ll help you."  

For the few minutes Johnny and Paige were in here they did some damage, but not too much. Papers were everywhere. Broken pens. The coffee table, Charlie figures where the origin of the crash was, was turned over and-  

"Why's the coffee table broken in half?"

 The two turn around and find Mike holding a pharmacy bag, looking confused. There was a large crack down the middle of the table. It would have to be replaced probably. Charlie wonders if the friendship between Paige and Johnny could be fixed somehow. Not to mention whatever it was involving Mike. She doesn't know if what she heard was Paige finding out about them along with Johnny's take on seeing Paige's 'death'.  

"Don't ask," Jakes remarks, striding past Charlie on his way outside. Which was good, because Charlie wanted a break from Paige. She gave a once over to her arms, frowning at the little red lines and crescent marks forming.

"What happened to you?"

Charlie can’t help but be taken aback by Mike's concerned face staring down at her.

 "Don't worry about it. Honey, why don't you just stay down here for a minute okay?"                                                  

He's not budging and continues to look at her as his faces evolves into fear.

"Where's Johnny and Paige?” he questions softly.

"Did you get your medicine?" Charlie asks, pushing her panic away by forcing a small smile up at him. She notices the pharmacy bag in his hands.

Didn’t he just get his meds when he left the hospital last night?

She chooses to rub his arms up and down gently.  "I'll make you something and bring it upstairs for you later, okay? Or we can stay downstairs and watch a movie?”

There goes her ice cream run. She’d also have to clean this mess up.

 "I don’t think we have time for that. Don’t we need to-"

"Your doctors told you to relax, sweetheart. We both could relax in our conditions, right?"

 Mike nods, smiling a little at the remembrance of their apple juice convo.  

"Okay?" Charlie confirms, looking into his eyes. His eyes had this really eerie, volatile blue hue to them… she almost couldn't look away.

 "Yeah, okay. You win."

"Now, go pick out a movie."


	15. Chapter 15

"That's way too strong for headaches. There's Tylenol in the kitchen,” Mike announces, trying to sound not too haggard. He bought some from the pharmacy to tie him over in case his oxy runs out. The oxy seemed to be strong enough for now, so he didn’t have much pain while out. He also tries to hide his surprise at finding Johnny in his room, downing some of his medication, without water no less and staring at it in boredom.  Mike didn’t expect to go searching for a movie in his room to find Johnny here at all. Seriously.

"That means it'll work then. Right?" Johnny seems to joke, but with way too serious of an expression on his face. He looks down and tosses the bottle in the air a few times to Mike’s horror. “Sharing is caring, right? Anyway, it’s not for a headache.”

"If you put it that way," Mike relents, with a slight nod.

Worry has already wormed its way into him at the scene unfolding before him. The fact that Johnny Tuturro was rummaging around in his medicine set off red alerts in Mike’s brain.

"Did I tell you your hair looks really good like that? But-" Johnny grabs hold of Mike’s chin. Mike can only respond with wide eyes. "I’m thinking, you should shave."

"We have more important things to worry about, than me shaving-" Mike mumbles. He holds back the sigh that wants to escape, as well as the sudden feeling of wanting his lips to graze Johnny’s.

 He won’t be able to handle being this close to Johnny again. Much like downstairs, a few hours ago, when Johnny practically blitz attacked him with his lips under the pretense of helping him down the stairs. Mike even had a feeling that someone was watching them…

Nevertheless, it was evident this was way too much temptation for both of them to be ‘on break’. Mike can’t help him if he does this. He’s trying to turn over a new leaf here!

"Shits distracting though,” Johnny muses, fingering the tufts of hair.

 It feels nice… yet Mike instantly feels heat rising out of his hoodie.

Dammit John.

Why’d he have to-

"How-ow! What was that for?!" Mike howls, as Johnny tugs at his beard. He steps backwards a little, about to fall, but Johnny catches him by collar of his hoodie. He pulls Mike closer to him with ease. The serious expression he still has on his face makes Mike panic a bit.

“Why’d Paige shove you like that? That night at the op, when we were trying to catch Sid? ” Johnny questions softly, still gripping Mike’s hoodie. His head is tilted upwards so that his almond eyes stare down at Mike, even though they were of similar height. Mike could tell him witnessing that scene made Johnny angry at Paige, but he kept his distance anyway.

“She was upset-”Mike starts, then swallows. He can’t tell anyone the whole truth. Never.

Johnny’s probably questioning why someone would even hurt Mike like that, just being out of the hospital. No matter how important this case was-

 Mike brushes his fingers over Johnny’s, making a weak attempt at prying them off his clothes. Johnny’s hold wasn’t too tight-It was just that it was leading to some other unnecessary thoughts flowing through Mike’s head in the middle of this very serious conversation.

The way Johnny is acting now…too much, too soon.

 And anyway, there’s the fact that Johnny was Johnny was too comfortable with taking Mike’s meds. Meds that weren’t prescribed to him by any doctor in the Bureau.

“About?” Johnny says, now eye level with him again. “Mike?”

“Me stopping her-“

Mike couldn’t get over the stoned expression of Johnny melting into one of sadness. He lets go of Mike’s hoodie, making a trek to his bed instead.

Mike walks over to him and sits. He’s nervous, wanting to comfort Johnny with a hug or something but…he knows it’ll only hurt them both.

“John, what’s going on?” he inquires, before needing to catch his breath. There was a strange ache beginning in his stomach…crap.

 “I don’t wanna be the good guy anymore…I’m just tired of being everyone’s hero. Don’t I deserve a break?” Johnny asks in frustration, after a few minutes of silence.

Mike isn’t altogether sure if he’s really asking out loud or asking him. So he sits there next to him in various states of confliction on what to do next.

“I miss kissing you…I miss kissing Lucia…”Johnny continues in melancholy, slowly turning in Mike’s direction.

Again, Mike isn’t sure how to respond.

Not only that, he’s beginning to feel light headed. Also, the twinge of pain in his abdomen is getting stronger with each passing moment.  His eyes lose contact with Johnny’s, to instead rest on the bottle of pills in his hands.

“John, how many did you take of those-?” Mike asks gently, flicking his eyes back into Johnny’s. He’s a bit startled by the eyes staring back at him. Johnny’s eyes seem brighter, but also darker, at the same time now. As if his original amber eyes became fluorescent, while contrasting with his dilated pupils-.

“John,” Mike breathes, taking Johnny’s shoulders so that he could face him properly. He tries to keep his voice steady.   “Tell me how many you took.”

“Took… what? Those?...I took…like two…or three? What, why?” Johnny slurs, blinking lazily at Mike. To Mike’s appreciation Johnny places the bottle in his hands, albeit a bit clumsily. “Pfft-who careesss.”

Mike cringes as the throb in his stomach start up again, just as he tries to concentrate on Johnny.

He doesn’t feel that relieved at Johnny’s answer. Not in the slightest.

Mostly because he still took his meds without asking. Not only that, he took too many for something so strong. Mike had them counted out perfectly, now he’ll have to count them again tomorrow. Mike was the one who needed to take a lot. To take the edge off…so he could help them catch Carlito once and for all. That’s all.

“Dude, you oka..y-okay?” Johnny asks, pressing his forehead into Mike’s. Mike closes his eyes, not knowing what to say again. Johnny chuckles gently as he says out of the blue, “Oh _yeah_ …your girlfriend…tried to beat me up today…”

Mike opens his eyes, staring into Johnny’s in confusion.

 _What?_ Who?

He can’t bother to decipher what Johnny’s saying anymore-He needs to sleep this off. Both of them do.

“Just go to sleep John-“

“Nah, I have… something to…do,” Johnny answers groggily, shaking his head, already getting up.

Mike almost crashes into the floor headfirst, from the sudden absence of Johnny’s forehead pressed into his. But he regains his footing by holding onto his knees. It’s late at night, where the hell is he going while he’s high on meds right now?!

“Johnny, you can’t leave the hou-” Mike says, then grunts in pain mid-way.

 How did the meds effects wear off so fast? Mike was only gone for an hour, and he’s been home for ten minutes. That math didn’t add up.

Mike closes his eyes, breathing hard through his nose. He has to get back downstairs for the over the counter stuff he got. He can take those while he rations off whatever is left of the oxy. It’ll be better that way. Yeah.

“John-“

There’s only Johnny’s shadow stretching from Mike’s doorway, retreating to the stairs outside. Mike knows that if he can press through this sharp ache, he can stop Johnny.  He shouldn’t be leaving the house while he’s-

By the time Mike is able to do this, he reaches the top of the stairs….unfortunately just in time to hear the front door close. He continues on his trek anyway. He bites his fist to silence a yell, as he struggles over the second to last step.

He most definitely took for granted the ability to descend a flight of stairs.

Never again.

The couch, in all its messy glory, is taken in Mike’s sights. So, he walks over as gingerly as possible. Not knowing how, but grateful anyway, that in the blink of an eye he ends up face first into its cushions.

The next thing he knows when he wakes up is the fabric of someone’s tie tickling his face as he’s being questioned;

“Can you tie a tie?”


	16. Chapter 16

“He hit you back?!”

“He didn’t exactly hit me. He shoved me, and put me in a headlock to stop me. It was after I slapped him and shoved him into the coffee table Mike…And punched him in the face. He was only defending himself.”

“Paige that’s still not-“

“I’m not a victim Mike. I started it, and he defended himself,” Paige interrupts matter-of-factly. Mike just gapes at her, not knowing what to say.

They just had this really great talk, to clear the air a bit about what happened with Lina. It was only then Paige dropped a bomb that she and Johnny got into a fight. An actual, physical, _fight._  They were so close once upon a time, long before Mike even came to Graceland. Mike wondered why Johnny didn’t attend Paige’s ceremony earlier…Apparently he just got his answer.

 

"So you and Johnny?" Paige questions, with a nod.

 

Mike looks at her in further shock, then deflates into a small smirk.

 

"Yep. He couldn't do any worse right?"

 

"If you say so," Paige answers, with an air of disbelief that Mike appreciate a bit. "Just, I didn't think you were into...guys."

 

"I'm just into Johnny-" Mike clarifies. He still isn’t sure he wants any other guy but him. He’s special. More than a friend. But more than a lover that Mike can only protect if they take a break.

 

"Uh-phrasing-"

 

"Right…um…how did you find out anyway?"

 

"I saw you two the other day. Under the stairs,” Paige answers, wiping off the stray tears beneath her chin.  

 

Oh. Mike though he felt someone watching them. His brain was too muddled by his meds and Johnny in such closeness with him that he couldn’t process-

 

"I mean, how didn't you find out earlier, I guess?"

 

"What do you mean?"

"Um, nevermind."

Oh wait, so she didn’t-?

"Oh my god," Paige says slowly, quickly turning around to face him. Mike winces at acute amused realization coming into her features.

"Were you with him while you were with me?"

"We were-"

"Yes or no Mike?"

Somewhere scratching at the back of Mike’s mind he feels slight irritation at Paige believing she had the right to practically _demand_ an answer from him… To keep his sanity, and to keep the peace, Mike chooses to rationalize that Johnny and his private info will reach Paige’s ears in a more negative way.

"Not technically.”

"Okay wait…what the hell is that supposed to mean?" Paige snorts, looking at him curiously.

Well, there she is back to her old self again.

"You and I weren't really together anymore,” Mike shrugs. There was nothing else to explain further. He and Paige, they should’ve stayed friends…hopefully they can go back to that.  

That was when everything went horrible between them. So much tension and arm twisting-

And the thing with Jessica?

 

No, it was better for Mike to forgive her, even if she hasn’t apologized.

 

"Huh, well," Paige nods, pursing her lips. Mike can tell she's trying to keep herself from laughing. Or perhaps trying to keep her thoughts to herself.

 

That has to be a good sign. He hates that he’d seen her so miserable. Johnny was on his hit list though.

 

“Well, it’s none of my business anyway,” Paige says, moving around boxes on her bed.

 

“It seems like everyone’s business is each other’s business while we’re living here,” Mike comments wryly.

There was still tension here, understandably.

 

"It’s great that I’m leaving then."

 

Mike couldn’t help but roll his eyes to the sky. They just had a conversation about this. " _Paige_ , you don't have to do that."

 

“How does that work with him being in love with Lucia?” Paige throws over her shoulder.

 

“I’ll let you know when I figure it out-” Mike answers, as he fiddles with stray thread on his shirt.

 

Besides, Johnny and him aren’t together anymore. They’re ‘on break’, in other words. But Paige doesn’t need to know every detail about it.

 

“Oh…” Paige trails off.  Mike’s really glad she’s back even with all that’s happened. Lena dying, Paige sending Markham after him…

 

He has to forgive. They have to move on. There’s been enough pain around here already-

 

He can’t forget though. A part of him wants to…wants to pretend it all never happened.

 

“I’m going to bed,” Mike says, feeling a phantom of pain starting in his side. He has two pills left now. He’ll take one of them before he sleeps. That should help. The other one he’ll save for an extreme emergency. He has to. He can’t ask the doctor for more or-

 

“’Night,” Paige says, looking up at him briefly, then back down at her award. She seems lost in her thoughts again, so Mike shuffles out of the room quietly.

That was a good talk. If only the good feelings from the experience rubbed off into this ugly scar throbbing in his gut.

 


	17. Chapter 17

The music pounding in his ears drives Johnny crazier than he feels already.

 

The sounds mix with his thoughts of Lucia, Mike and this asshole Markham who is nursing a drink next to him.

 

Not to mention that fallout he had with Paige. It hurt Johnny that things even got that far. Why didn’t he just walk away?  She had her award ceremony today, but Johnny couldn’t bring himself to go, and he had a great excuse to avoid it now.

 

Her words hurt him. The hard smack across his face reminded him of his mom doing the same thing to him as a kid…Having someone he cared about react the way Paige did…

 

Was the fight even started over Mike? Or was it Johnny and her pride and lack of trust resulting factor of it all?

 

Will they give harsh looks, as well as words, to each other from now on? Avoid each other in the house until everyone else noticed and…yeah that wasn’t such a good idea.

 

Johnny definitely didn’t feel the need to step up to apologize first though.

 

If anything, Paige should be doing apologizing first.  She started it. Johnny did feel bad however for messing up the living room. He also feels guilty for leaving Chuck and Jakes with the mess-He’d make it up to them later.

 

And probably get Mike more meds as a replacement for what he took…if he had the time.  

 

At least he could take his anger out this bastard next to him.

 

The one who made so many people’s lives hell, along with Carlito. Johnny stopped feeling pity for him a long time ago.

 

He couldn’t help allowing his gaze drifting to the various strippers around him. It is a strip club, he could try to enjoy himself here while executing his grand plan.

 


	18. Chapter 18

“So let me get this straight, you were with Mike-“ Jakes begins.

 

“Yeah-” Johnny answers with a nod.

 

“And then you got with Lucia? Like right in the middle of all that-?”

 

Johnny nods gently, as he adjusts his hood. He feels slightly amused at Jakes’ questions. He felt nearly weightless after getting so much off his chest. Which included spilling to Jakes how Carlito was blackmailing him, putting everyone’s job and Lucia’s life on the line and offing Sid. He doesn’t know how he’ll be able to tell anyone else about that last part. Especially Mike. Either he let it all out to Jakes or watch Jakes puke his brains out again over the side of the boat.

“-But before that, Mike was with Paige, who you fought with… And also that Jessica person?”

 

“See, that’s debatable. He says he weren’t…they started something and it just _ended_ when she was at the bunker place,” Johnny answers with a shrug.

 

“What, you think he still had feelings for her?”                  

 

Johnny just shrugs again.

 

It’s apparent all of that is over and done with now. Whatever they had before can’t be picked up ever again. The dynamic between them was different.  

 

Even the friendship Johnny had with Paige was still on the fence after their fight. Someone needed to apologize and it wasn’t going to be Johnny yet. As Johnny thought would happen, he and Paige ended up ignoring each other at the house. Everyone seemed too busy to take notice of it yet, except for Mike. Mike questioned him about it but then got too busy for it as well.

Johnny sniffs the afternoon air and tries not to laugh at Jakes’ confused face.

 

“I’m assuming you’ve all made a fieldtrip to the doctor already.”

 

“Shut up man! I’m not stupid-“

 

“Debatable-“

 

“I can’t help loving both of them Jakes. I just-You don’t get it man.”

 

His heart was _supposed_ be big enough for everyone and anyone. Romantic or otherwise, there was enough room. This whole thing had Johnny doubtful of it again.

“And that right there is your problem Johnny. You’re too busy loving every damn body, you can’t even do your job right.”

 

Johnny blinks, huffs in frustration and stares back out into the ocean again. Jakes sure had a way with words.  Johnny couldn’t help but appreciate that about him. Even though he didn’t want to hear the truth sometimes.

 

“Whatever man,” Johnny chooses to groan.

“Yeah, you know I’m righ-!” Jakes begins, until he suddenly covers his mouth.

 

Johnny winces as Jakes gags, stands up and briskly throws himself over the edge of the boat. For like the third time this afternoon, really, to hurl whatever was left at the bottom of his stomach out into the beautiful ocean. Great job Jakes.  

 

Yeah, the lecture was definitely much better than this.

 

“Yo, you want some water and crackers or something bro?”


	19. Chapter 19

Why is he late?

 

Johnny looks down at the table, deep in thought. He tunes out more of the trying-to-be-helpful banter his roommates are throwing in his direction.

 

Everyone was so happy and relieved for him, except there was someone missing…

 

They were in celebration of Johnny finally taking down Carlito. A part of their case which they all had to admit dragged on for far too long.

 

It felt bitter sweet.

 

Johnny was glad Carlito was far away from the Solano compound, him and Lucia.

 

The sad thing is, Johnny also lost Lucia in the process.

 

He could still hear her screaming for him to kill Carlito. End him. Finish him. Take his life away with the gold plated gun then in Johnny’s hands.

 

It was Johnny’s time to complete the task he was set out to do.

 

He was a man trained to uphold the law.

 

He was the hero.

 

How much better would he be for putting a bullet through someone else’s head, even though one of the loves of his life commanded him to do so?

 

He needed time letting her go.  Just a little bit time to let the space she occupied in his mind, body and soul to heal.

 

Not that Lucia’s dead and gone…even if it seemed that way. He had to stay away from her after struggling so long to become part of her again. It was her choice…he had to respect it.

 

Then again, this was the whole cause of his and Mike’s break up. Jakes was right, he spent too much time loving everyone to even get his work done.

 

So now once Johnny let go for a bit, things fell into place to end the nightmare that was Carlito.

 

But ending that one opened up a new one of which Johnny could never be part of Lucia’s life again.

 

He feels the urge to turn around catching the eye of their missing roommate. Johnny swallows a lump in his throat before bellowing good-naturedly;

 

“Hey, it’s Serpico!”

 

 “Sorry I’m late!” he hears Mike answer after laughing at Johnny’s greeting. Johnny smiles as he watches him. He looks tired, and yet he’s still here.  He’s here for him, even after all they went through-

 

He wants to reach up to drag Mike in for a deep, sloppy kiss and a never-ending hug.

 

Regardless of who’s watching or what they had to say about it.

 

 Speaking of which, Johnny sees Charlie watching himself expectantly. It’s as if she knows what’s going through his head…daring him to do it.

 

A fist bump in greeting is nowhere close to being enough. Johnny knew that already, but the small shake of Charlie’s head in disappointment further brought the realization home.

 

“What?” Johnny mouths at her once Mike turns to face Briggs.

 

Charlie rolls her eyes, smirks and then turns her attention elsewhere. Johnny can only duck his head down shyly, which is so unlike him, before looking back at Mike again.

 

Johnny knew more than ever at this very moment, he needed Mike. Mike seemed to be doing better. Johnny could still help him heal-help with his dream journaling thing now that it’ actually a case? Or so he’s heard from Jakes.

 

Maybe now they can be together? Or slowly build back up to it? Rush right in?

 

Mike should be happy now that this case could be put behind them. All of their problems stemmed from it.

 

They’ve forgiven each other…hopefully.

 

Mike didn’t know about the breakup yet-did he?

 

“Let me buy the next round,” he hears Mike offer and everyone cheers in response.

 

The idea of casual sex fueled with Tequila sounded promising all of a sudden.  Johnny smiles briefly at the thought.  

 

“Bring ‘em on.”

 

After all, they both could relax-

 

Johnny suddenly feels someone tap him on the shoulder. He turns around to find Paige behind him with an expression of worry on her face.

 

“Can I talk to you outside?”

 

Johnny takes a while before rising out of his chair and leading the way outside The Drop. He ignores their roommates’ curious looks in their directions.

 

“Look Johnny, I just wanted to apologize for…that fight I started with you. I want to clear the air between us,” she says, not breaking eye contact with him. “It’s all my fault. Plain and simple.”

 

Johnny feels taken aback a bit. Paige Arkin apologizing for something she actually did wrong?

 

This is a really rare moment.

 

“You? Apologizing? Must be raining pigs somewhere. Or is it flying pigs?” Johnny comments wryly.

 

Yeah, that wasn’t the most mature reaction Johnny could have had. This is what he wanted, right? An apology from her first?

 

Paige blinks before crossing her arms. “If you don’t want to accept my apology, fine. Just don’t make Mike-“

 

“I’m just messing with you Paige. Okay, okay I accept your apology,” Johnny says, with a pout. He didn’t mean to make this worse. “And I wouldn’t put Mike in the middle of this.”

 

“That’s not funny Johnny,” Paige murmurs. She looks like she’s on the verge of tears and it crushes Johnny to his core.

 

“Sorry, I’m sorry too, just-Paige, don’t cry. Shh,” Johnny voices, taking Paige into his arms. He’s happy she accepts his hug. “I shouldn’t have hit you back-It was a mistake. I don’t wanna fight with you anymore.”

 

As she cries, Johnny’s thoughts flash back to the time Mike got her out of that bunker. He holds her the same way, sniffling tears away just like last time.

 

Life was way too short for this pettiness. They only had each other after all.


	20. Chapter 20

He can’t imagine himself with another guy. Only Mike.  No one else but Mikey.

But right now…Carlito…

He knows him, and the bonus of knowing Lucia too. So she’ll be close by.

Who else is there to love him?

Who else was there to comfort him, no matter the instance?

And whenever does something good, there he is to encourage him. To congratulate him.

“Good boy Johnny…” he’d say. Hearing him say those words at first implanted within him contempt…however.

The more Johnny hears it, the more empty…the more weightless he feels. SO. Much BETTEr. No burdens. No gut wrenching heartache. No memories to agonize over.

No more playing the hero for five people. Carlito thinks for them now. Instructs him on what to do now.

So, he does his best to make Carlito happy. Make Lucia happy.

It would be okay.

 

Johnny wakes up with a start, breathing hard.

 

He almost killed someone today…what would his nightmare have been if he had gone through with it?

 

Lucia being part of his life, along with that psycho Carlito, was over and done with.

 

Johnny sighs, turning a bit where he’s lying on the couch, trying not to disturb Jenny sleeping in his arms.


	21. Chapter 21

If it wasn’t the sight of Johnny, probably naked underneath that blanket he wore, that would do Mike in it had to be the fact that Johnny was curved around Jenny...THE Jenny, daughter of Hector from Hector’s Taco’s. Kissing and slobbering all over her. Jenny feeding Johnny breakfast. Jenny wiggling against Johnny when they thought no one was looking. Jenny wearing Johnny’s shirt. Johnny-Jenny…ugh.

 

Mike should be happy for him. He only wanted Johnny to move on from him, and Lucia for that matter to be happy.

 

It was because Mike turned him down last night-

 

Well, he didn’t exactly outright turn Johnny down.

 

Mike noticed the flirtatious glances and comments thrown his way while the rest of the gang pretended they didn’t notice while they were at The Drop. Johnny and Paige had just come back from outside, from whatever it was they were talking about. Mike was sure they were burying the hatchet because they seemed more comfortable with each other again.

 

Anyway, Johnny wasn’t that drunk that he didn’t know what he was doing. Mike knew that _he_ knew he wasn’t that drunk. After all, he was still mourning the departure of Lucia. Whom he loved, but yet they ‘didn’t work out’. Just like him and Johnny.

 

Mike could only lightly laugh when everyone else laughed at Johnny’s passivity. Briggs’ jokes, Jakes’-whatever. Charlie shooting Mike looks of irritation. This was a celebration, what the hell was going on?

 

Mike even resisted the light headlock on their walk home from The Drop. Charlie’s condition seemed to be the only one trustworthy enough to lead them home safely-as well as Jakes’. Paige had a drinking contest with Briggs, shockingly, and thus they were making dirty jokes all the way home.  Johnny eventually took the hint, wandering off to a group of women standing near the beach. He called out a simple, “Later suckahs!” when everyone else continued on their trek home.

 

Now Mike finds himself at the cold police station after getting ‘arrested’ with Madison and Gusti. He made the mistake of asking Johnny to help him with this. All he got was pervy glances when no one was looking. Mike was hoping to perhaps normalize their friendship-only  again-but no dice. He was starting to be unsure of it himself…he loved Johnny. But he needed to know what was best for him, which was their separation.

“You enjoy breakfast this morning?”

“It was good. Jenny learned from the best-“ Mike compliments. He tries not to sound too irritated, so he focuses on the surveillance screens of the cells in front of him. Madison was going through a terrible withdrawal, as Johnny pointed out a few minutes before.

 

“Hey, you okay? You look paler than usual,” Johnny comments, taking lingering looks up and down Mike’s person.

 

“Yeah, I’m okay.”

 

“You could’ve joined us you know,” Johnny says, under his breath.

 

“Joined?”

 

What’s he talking about?

 

“Me and Jenny I mean? Been a third wheel.”

 

The pointed stare Johnny gives Mike, after he speaks, punctuates his meaning. Turning an innocent expression into a very inappropriate one.

 

Mike can’t keep himself from scoffing, “I thought you said you weren’t into, ‘crazy kinky shit’?”

 

He shouldn’t be encouraging Johnny by answering him. Like at all. It was ass backwards to what Mike wants to achieve. The short laugh Johnny gives him as a response makes him feel like he’s going down the rabbit hole that was his unrelenting sexual attraction to Johnny.

 

“It’s not crazy or kinky. “

 

“How is that not crazy-“

 “Semantics dude. It’s all semantics.”

 

What the hell does that even mean?

 “You can’t be serious.”

 

Jenny is a beautiful woman, sure. But an obvious substitute to Lucia. Like figuratively and physically Lucia 2.0 or something.

Mike can’t find himself to be interested in that…request.

And of all places, Johnny’s flirting with Mike openly at a police station. Sure, they’re in an isolated hallway, but still.

Maybe no one even knows what they’re talking about…

“Why you acting like you’ve never thought about me and Paige with you?  I’ve thought about it with you and Lucia,” Johnny admits, with a simple shrug.

“I haven’t. There’s nothing to act like if I’ve never thought about it,” Mike rushes out, sounding defensive. Which was making the situation more embarrassing. “Can we change the subject please?”

 

“Aww, I’m making you hella embarrassed el Pulpo?”

 

Mike pretends he doesn’t hear him and focuses a bit on keeping his cold sweats intact.  

 

“Don’t sound so offended by it. Jenny told me she thought you were cute. Anyway, you need anything else?” Johnny inquires, bumping his shoulder into Mike’s.

 

How can Mike even recover from lines like that? Maybe shocking him with something..

 

“Could you punch me in the face?”

 

“Now, who’s the one into crazy kinky shit?”

 

“It’s not…I need Gusti to think-”

 

“So what? I’m not punching you in the face Mike. Go ask someone else. Like that guard over there. I’ll drag your ass back to the cell and that’s it.”

 

Mike notices Johnny looks kinda pissed by the request. It was kind of a dumb thing to ask him, but he needed to stop with the sex talk. It wasn’t helping.

So, Mike had to practically run on a wild goose chase to find someone-But he did it while Johnny gave him a disappointed look.

“It needs to look real Johnny,” Mike sighs, crossing his arms. He suddenly feels really cold again. He wonders if he can find another pill in his sock or something because-

 

“You could’ve just put makeup on, god Mike. You sure you okay?”

 

“Then why didn’t you stop me?”

 

Johnny shrugs. Oh, big surprise he’s still pissed at the turn down.  Or was it something else?

 

“Just take me back to my cell."

 

“Your wish my command. Let’s go _buddy_."


	22. Chapter 22

“Hey,” Johnny murmurs, from the doorway of Mike’s room.

 

 He sees Charlie and Mike embracing on Mike’s bed. Both have tear stained faces, smiling a bit at one another before they look at Johnny.

 

“Hey,” Charlie greets. Johnny looks at Mike, who’s staring at him with such an innocent expression it almost makes Johnny feel better. But deep down, he knows Mike is going through a nightmare.

 

“Can Mike and I-?” Johnny questions. Realization hits Charlie’s visage, so she quickly wipes her face.

 

“Okay, I’ll see you both soon. Alright?” Charlie offers, giving a kiss to Mike’s cheek. She gets up and hugs Johnny at the doorway before giving Mike one last tired smile.  As she leaves, Johnny closes the door behind himself while walking slowly over to the bed.

“Can I-?” Johnny asks, and Mike gives a hurried nod as an answer. Johnny sits next to him. He gives a once over to Mike's hands which are trembling a bit. 

“Look, Mike I-"Johnny begins, then sighs. Mike’s line of sight is preoccupied with a corner of the room, which tightens the knot forming in Johnny’s stomach.

How did they all let him slip between their fingers like this? How did they…Johnny, not see how much Mike was becoming a shadow of his former self? From the long hours away from Graceland, not shaving, barely bathing and more distracted than usual?

Johnny takes hold of Mike’s hands, shaking his thoughts away and hoping tears didn’t start falling form his eyes.

“I should’ve been more patient with you downstairs,” Johnny expresses. He didn’t know how to deal with something like this again.

Addiction.

Someone you love desperately, who is at the same time killing themselves. What could Johnny have done besides tell him he was there for him? That he loved him? When the only response he and the others would get was Mike turning his back on them?

“I’m not good enough for you Johnny,” Mike says, with a sad smile. He finally looks at Johnny and tears are starting to flow out of his eyes.

“I mean, look at me. And look at you. You have your shit together more than I do. You managed to take the Solanos down by yourself and I couldn’t. It was my own case but I couldn’t. All I do is drag you and everyone else down. It hurts.”

Johnny bites his lip and quickly pulls Mike in for a hug. He holds him tight, squeezing his eyes shut. He feels Mike’s body trembling, as well as the feeling of wet warm tears coating his shoulder.

“We shouldn’t have ever-I shouldn’t have kissed you that day-I dragged you down Johnny and I hate myself for hurting you-"Mike rambles.

“Don’t say that Mike… I can do-I’ll do whatever you want me to do but please! Don’t say that...!”

No.  

It’s not right. How could Mike even say something like that?                                       

Johnny knows he plays a part in this too. For Mike to take all the blame like this, it isn’t fair. How, no, _why_ is he putting so much weight on himself?

“No, I keep hurting you Johnny. I’m so sorry. I tried to tell you-I’m not good for you. I’m not good enough for anyone. I have to get clean. I have to. I’m sorry Johnny-downstairs I-”

“Dude, shut up! Please stop,” Johnny stresses, noting that his voice is trembling. He takes Mike’s chin with both hands. Why won’t he listen?!  

“Please just stop. I don’t regret being with you. And I know you don’t either. _C’mon_ man, just stop martyring yourself. We’re _both_ at fault for what went down between us. It’s not just you.”

Mike just stares back at Johnny, silently, in surprise. Johnny isn’t sure if he made things better or worse with his outburst, but he continues anyway.

“You don’t have to say sorry to me Mike for what happened downstairs. You should definitely apologize to Jakes…like I hope you did with Charlie,” Johnny interrupts, pulling Mike in for a hug again. He cups Mike’s face after releasing him from their hug. “Right?”

Johnny was sure Mike would charge at him next down there. Probably rub in the fact that Lucia was gone, or some other shortcoming of his in that withdrawal-fueled rant.

But nope.

Johnny couldn’t help but yell at him to stop hitting under the belt so much with a group of people that loved and cared for him so dearly. All of them were used to seeing junk--addicts, behave this way while undercover. Seeing that same behavior from yet another person in the house was more than heartbreaking. 

However, Johnny’s not so sure about that instant Mike went off on Paige. The way she backed down so quickly, with a blanching look of guilt on her face.  Everyone ignored Johnny’s question about Mike’s meaning behind the abstract dig. Something between the two of them, Paige and Mike, was being kept as a secret from everyone. It couldn’t be something good.

It could explain Paige’s behavior towards Mike when Paige set up her suicide and Mike was met with so much hostility. Mike never explained himself to Johnny about anything that happened that night. Also could explain how forgiving he was trying to be when Johnny and Paige fought-

What the _hell_ happened between them? Why did Mike insinuate Paige knew why Mike was an addict? As if she was partly to blame-?

Then there’s Briggs.

Johnny knew he deserved the hostility thrown in his direction even if he didn’t know all the details.

Or perhaps it was just Johnny’s own resentment towards Briggs speaking for itself? Rationalizing it?

“I should’ve been more patient with you Mike. And- I shouldn’t have kept pushing you to take those meds,” Johnny says, shaking his head. “I thought it would help you.”  They all had some part of this. He was too busy with-

“It’s not your fault Johnny,” Mike explains, finally making eye contact with Johnny.  “I’m not as strong a person as I make myself out to be.”

“You are a strong person Mikey. You’re one of the strongest people I know, besides Chuck. I mean, shit, the way I see you handle cases hyped me up to get off my ass to do better,” Johnny encourages with a smile. He loves the small, bashful grin Mike gives him in return.  

“You gotta remember Mike, even strong people have times where they’re weak. Dude, you’re only human.”

“I’m sorry I took those meds that time Paige and I got into a fight. I probably made things worse for you,” Johnny sighs, rubbing the back of his head.

“No, you did me a favor,” Mike sniffs, running a shaky hand through his hair. “I probably would have been worse off if you didn’t.”

Johnny stares at him, unsure if he actually believes the statement.

What could be worse than this? Someone whom he loves was in so much pain that they ended up in such horrible shape? Now that he thought about it, Johnny was glad that Mike had an avid closeness with Charlie in a way that they could help each other out with an issue like this. More or less relate to each other in such a way that only people with present or past substance abuse issues could understand.

“So, um, what was up with what you said to Paige?” Johnny asks lightly, after a minute. What Mike barked at her downstairs sounded cryptic and ominous as hell.

Mike only stares at Johnny, eyes wide in panic. Eyes begging Johnny silently, as if to say, ‘ _please no…don’t make me tell you-please-"_

“So you, uh, not just gonna tell me again? Great,” Johnny sighs impatiently. Time for some tough love again. “Look, Mike you can’t just keep protecting her from whatever you’re protecting her from, if it’s hurting you man. It’s not fair! You have to tell me or someone else-“

“Joseph, _I can’t_ …please _pleaseplease,"_ Mike cries into Johnny’s neck, causing Johnny to jump a bit. He places a hand on Mike’s back awkwardly. “ _Pleaseplease!”_

The nerve wracking pain in his voice, the trembling-using his real name like that? It’s only so much Johnny could take before he feels tears welling up in his own eyes yet again.

“Okay, okay, Mikey,” Johnny soothes, wrapping his arms around Mike, as he gently rubs his back. He rest his chin on Mike’s shoulder, closing his eyes to stop his own tears from flowing. How did he manage to screw up the work Charlie did?

So much vulnerability-He just wanted to take of Mike and vice-versa. Even as they were on their break they still couldn’t stay too far from each other, or want the best for the other. It was a mistake to not work through their problems in a more mature way. This job was hell on relationships, Johnny knew that much already. Everyone was his family while he was here at Graceland...while Mike became someone who was much more intimate than any family member could be. They all needed to do better to check in with each other while putting jealousy and hatred aside to be a more cohesive unit.

 Once upon a time, they did do great work here…and Johnny believes they can do it again.

 

The two of them stay wrapped around one another until they fall asleep.

When Johnny wakes up, his arms are still wrapped around a sleeping Mike. He kisses his forehead before scanning him for a bit to see if he slept okay.

When all seems well, Johnny sits up and is surprised to see Charlie dozing off at foot of the bed. Her head rests in her arms as she sits crossed legged on the floor.

Once Johnny looks further down he finds Paige leaning against the wall asleep with Jakes next to her. He is also asleep, arms crossed and sleeping face cloaking in seriousness. Johnny smells food faintly wafting, from downstairs. So it was safe to assume Briggs was down there.  

 

Johnny smiles a little bit to himself at the sight of his roommates gathered around Mike and himself.

It seems intrusive…but they’re family. Johnny wouldn’t expect anything less.


	23. Chapter 23

_“You’re a goddamn junkie!!”_

The phrase just rings in Mike’s head when he wakes up with a start.  He looks around himself, glad that he’s at Graceland...where he belongs again.

He has his clothes on still from earlier today but still half expects to find himself in Madison and Gusti's bedroom again.

 

Madison, as much bravado she tries to put forth, had a life that wasn’t going anywhere. She didn’t have her shit together just as much as Mike didn’t. Even moreso, considering the work she and Gusti did. At least Mike had the bureau if or when he finally gets through his addiction. More than likely she and Gusti will end up in jail after all this is over with. 

Gusti seemed to never give up on her, since she was his wife. And with Mike, whom he recently became friends with, he wanted to see Mike do better for himself.

Mike had to laugh at the thought of a grifter wanting a fellow ‘thief’ to do better for himself.

 

To achieve better things in life than sleeping in, getting high off oxy with Madison instead of kicking ass with Gusti. Especially not getting his work done with the people who opened their home and lives to him, here at Graceland.

 

Mike sits up a bit, but not too much as he feels a strange ache prickling his side. He blinks, looking up at the ceiling as thoughts of his failed intervention cross his mind. Then of Charlie…and finally Johnny coming right after her to comfort him. He owed them. He owed Jakes for he’s said.

 

A tiny part of him appreciated Paige’s help…but another part of him wanted nothing to do with it. With her.

 

Thinking back to what he said to Chuck and Jakes, Mike wishes he could take it back. He wishes he could take the anger and hurt from Johnny. However, Mike began to hate himself for not feeling similarly towards the way he treated Briggs and Paige. Mike actually felt a small surge of relief right after-He loved them both, that much was true…but- Maybe he forgave too quickly.

 

Mike knows that he wasn’t himself… pushing away the people he loved. People who loved him. People who probably immediately forgave him for the vile he spewed to them.

 

Mike knew he needed to forgive himself…stop holding onto so much guilt and see clearly again.

 

The only way to do it was to get clean and stay clean.


	24. Chapter 24

Hearing Mike, _his_ Mike, beg for Johnny to let him out of his handcuffs was the hardest thing.

 

Hearing Mike scream for him to shut the hell up or, ‘screw him dirty’ or put him out of his misery tormented Johnny enough as well.

 

Johnny couldn’t do anything but relay the story of how his brother and himself got stuck on Bike Wheel at Six Flags that one time… or put his face in hands and pray, or tell Mike he loved him …He was much too scared to touch Mike.

 

Johnny’s worst nightmare came true when he found Mike laying in his own vomit, high and burning out of his mind with fever while his eyes showed only the smallest glimpses of life.

 

Johnny clumsily released Mike from his cuffs, carrying him, with Briggs’ help to the bathroom to wake him up in an ice water bath.

 

Seeing Briggs kiss Mike on the head in relief after he rose up from the water should’ve made him irritated. But it only encouraged Johnny to halfway dive into the small tub, dismissing Charlie’s exclamations of, “Jesus Christ Johnny! You outta your mind?!” pulling Mike close, to kiss him on the mouth and on the forehead multiple times.

 

He ignored his actions splashing cold water everywhere. He most certainly ignored Briggs, Paige’s and Jakes sly comments of, “You two need a room or something?” to just cradle Mike’s head against his chest.

He heard the wet puppy in his arms sigh before saying, “You guys are the ugliest angels I’ve seen.”

The little shit.

 

Johnny felt so relieved. Overjoyed. But he couldn’t help thinking in the back of his mind that this was only the beginning of Mike’s recovery. Mike got through this part, and yet there’s more to come with staying sober.

 

He still thinking as he goes upstairs, hours long after Mike’s impromptu baptism, to check on Mike. Johnny didn’t find him in his room, so he checks one of the other bathrooms where he finally finds him.

 

 “You know, I think I’m gonna miss that beard,” Johnny murmurs, taking slow steps to where Mike is standing. He can’t tell if Mike knew he was standing behind him, just watching him shave or not because he gives no indication of it.

 

“I thought you said it was too distracting?” Mike responds, watching Johnny from the mirror.

 

“Ha, that’s the point. Nothing wrong with a distraction every once in awhile,” Johnny continues, smiling sweetly at Mike. From what Johnny could see, Mike’s lost quite a bit of weight from his face. He still looks great though. Much better than he’s looked lately.

 

“Do you remember while you were…um, under you asked me to have sex with you?” Johnny relays with a smile, trying to lighten the mood. Hopefully they both can laugh about this. “You said, and I quote, ‘screw me dirty while everyone watches’.”

 

“Oh, god, I’m sorry! Johnny...I wasn’t myself,” Mike apologizes, he closes his eyes as if he’s in pain before looking at Johnny earnestly.

 

Well, that backfired quickly.

 

“I know... Look, don’t even worry about it man,” Johnny says. He wonders what crazy things he said to the other guys. They probably didn’t take his babbling, threats and whatevers to heart. Detox talk was crazy talk. But it still scared, but at the same time intrigued, Johnny nonetheless.

 

“What else did I say?” Mike asks, suddenly looking self-conscious.  

 

“Um… nothing, I couldn’t make anything else out,” Johnny lies, with a shrug.

 

_“She hates me! She wants me dead!! Don’t let her touch me! PleasePlease! Johnny-Dude, please just let me out!!”_

_“Mikey, please just…”_

 

Johnny shakes his head to get the slurred echoes of speech Mike made, out of his mind.  Who was he even talking about…? His mom? A sister Johnny didn’t know about? It could be Charlie or Paige…that wouldn’t make any sense.

 

He takes one of Mike’s hands, squeezing it gently. In encouragement, comfort, whatever…he needed to touch him.  

 

He wishes however that Mike wouldn’t put himself into his case again so quickly. He reminded Johnny of Charlie in that way. Both are so determined, putting their health on the back-burner just to put the bad guys away.

 

“Thanks Johnny,” Mike says. “I really appreciate your help with all this.”

 

“I could still help you…Yeah, I could be your nurse,” Johnny suggests, raising his eyebrows with a dirty grin.

 

“Nurse Tuturro?”

 

“You liking the sound of that?”

 

“I dunno,” Mike smiles and Johnny nudges him to continue. “You plan on wearing a nurse’s uniform?”

 

“You little jerk,” Johnny lightly scolds. It’s nice to see him back to himself again like this. “Hell no.”

 

He wasn’t sure if Mike meant the traditional woman’s nurse’s uniform like in a porno, or the gender neutral ones…but to be on the safe side he had to reject it outright. Besides, Mike would probably look better in either one.

 

“I thought I was el puelpu?” Mike comments after a minute.

 

Johnny coughs back a laugh, ignoring the perplexed expression on Mike’s face.

 

Wow. His Spanish has suffered a bit.

 

“You have to earn that nickname back,” Johnny chides, pulling Mike closer. He returns Mike’s smile with a sneaky grin. “And dude, your Spanish sucks again by the way.”

 

Mike rolls his eyes then plants a kiss on Johnny’s cheek, to Johnny’s surprise.

 

“Did you see anything while you were, you know-?” Johnny asks. He’s interested in seeing what kept his guy under so long. He read a little bit of his dream journal, when he wasn’t looking, and it confused him. There were numbers, everyone in the house’s names, bible verses…nothing made sense. “You got something else for your dream journal, thing, I mean?”

 

“I guess…why?”

 

“What was it? Tell me Mikey,” Johnny whines. He didn’t mean to whine really, it’s just…this was like pulling teeth with Mike and Johnny is excited to have him ‘back’ in a sense. Like he went on an adventure without him and Johnny has to wait for Mike to take his shoes off before weaving his tale.

 

“I was running…through some glades or something,” Mike answers, looking around and squeezing Johnny’s hand back. “It was everything I wrote in my journal but, like visualized and really colorful. It’s hard to explain.”

 

“Wow,” Johnny breathes. He wishes it were somehow possible to dive into someone’s dreams, or their minds to see what they see.  He swings Mike and his hands between them, to and fro, while in deep thought. “Okay. So, you sticking around the house for today?”

 

“Nope… I’m actually going out for a run. Wanna come with me?”

 

“Mm, nah man. I’ll pass,” Johnny answers, cupping Mike’s face with both hands. Healthier blue eyes stare back at him sweetly. Although his running speed is still above average, Johnny had hopes that Mike would stay home with him. “C’mon, dude, why don’t you just stay? Just take it easy. Now you have an excuse to be lazy.”

 

“That’s what got me in trouble in the first place,” Mike replies, with a snort. “Hey, Johnny… Are you afraid of heights?”

 

“…what?” Johnny asks, and blinks in an attempt to recover from his surprise. “Um, why?”

 

Mike just shrugs, staring back at Johnny innocently. It wasn’t a fake innocent look either.

 

So, Mike _was_ paying attention to his story during the detoxing.

 

They should be able to tell each other anything at this point…so why did Johnny suddenly feel unsure of himself?

 

“How about, you go for your run and I meet you at Hector’s right after? Sounds cool?” Johnny suggests, with a smile.

 

“Okay,” Mike agrees with a nod. He takes Johnny’s hands into his own for a moment before letting go to wipe off the sink. “But you have to promise me to go running with me another time. I could use the company.”

 

“Yeah, okay.” He likes the fact that Mike’s asking for his help like this. Even if it’s something as simple as going for a run, Johnny appreciates it. He didn’t want Mike to isolate himself again…no good could come of it. Whether Johnny couldn’t go with Mike, he hopes that he’ll make the habit of checking in with someone in the house at least.

 

Which begs the question,

 

“Mike do you…um, so are we like...exclusive now?”

 

They’ve been really affectionate with one another, but it didn’t hurt to ask anyway. It’s better not to repeat the same mistake of not being clearer with each other.

 

“I mean, if you wanna be with an addi-“

 

“Mike, don’t say it. Stop. And yeah, I do,” Johnny affirms. He puts his hands around Mike’s waist before leaning in to kiss him softly. It was the longest kiss they’ve had in a long time with each other. To Johnny, it feels like the time they were apart after their first kiss. How long ago was that anyway?

 

“I hope things don’t get awkward with you and Jenny,” Mike says gently, when they break apart. “When we eat there later.”

 

“Or you, remember she wanted you too?” Johnny adds with a smirk. A brief image of what could have been flashes through his mind, causing him to grin wider. “You never gave her an answer.”

 

“ _Right_. I’m supposed to feel awkward, but I’m not the one who slept with her though…anyway,” Mike hurries, gathering up his towel. Johnny revels in the fact that he caused a shade of red to spread on Mike’s face. “I’m gonna get dressed.”

 

“Can I watch?” Johnny teases, but his face drops when Mike gives him a nervous glance. “Too soon?”

 

“Uh…yeah. Sorry, I just…”Mike stutters, looking around the bathroom briefly. It’s heartbreaking to see him so fearful…or was it worried? Of course he would be somewhat self-conscious of his body.

 

“Don’t worry about it and my bad… I’m not following my own advice,” Johnny says, as he moves away from the sink.

“I’ll be downstairs. See you before you leave?” he finishes, giving Mike a one-armed hug. He’s glad that Mike returns it with both arms.

 

“I love you Mikey,” Johnny declares, connecting their lips before Mike walks out of the bathroom. “Be careful out there.”

 

“Love you too.”


	25. Chapter 25

“Ayy, morning! You get enough beauty rest?” Johnny calls out, as Mike rounds the corner into the kitchen.

“This looks familiar,” Mike mumbles, looking around the kitchen. Johnny is at the stovetop with an apron and only black boxes on underneath as he mixes pale yellow batter. Briggs is posted at his side holding a cup of something, Jakes at the opposite side of the island flipping through a newspaper, while Paige and Charlie occupy the table on the right with empty plates in front of them. The table is decorated with bottles of maple syrup, yogurt and various fruit toppings.   

The previous day Mike and Johnny finally had a date at Hector’s, once Mike got back from his run. Jenny wasn’t there, thankfully, and the two of them enjoyed their tacos without an addition of awkwardness.

Afterwards, they walked along the beach, just talking about random things and enjoying each other’s company. When they finally got back to Graceland, most of the house was asleep or busy so they snuck off to Mike’s room. They just relaxed, and drifted off to sleep while the movie, ‘Memento’, watched them instead of the other way around. When Mike awoke, Johnny was nowhere in sight. So, he took a shower before heading down to the kitchen which was filling with idle, somewhat groggy chatter.

Mike skirts past Briggs to flank at Johnny’s right. He ignores Briggs’ wolf whistle, just as Johnny turns and smiles at him before focusing back on his pancake making.

“Mornin’ Mikey,” Charlie calls from the table. Paige looks up briefly at him before staring into her papers.

“Yo,” Jakes greets.

 “Morning,” Mike answers. He observes Johnny, wanting to kiss him, but feeling self-conscious enough that he can’t in front of everyone else. In his eyes, Johnny seems to be keeping somewhat of an avid distance as well.

“This doesn’t seem familiar to you?” Mike prods again, under his breath. Everyone seems to be in their own various conversations just as he’s having a serious déjà vu moment. “Like you know…that day-“

“Does wha-?” Johnny begins, then an easy grin spreads on his face. He narrows his eyes at Mike, which sends a cool chill down Mike’s spine. “ _Oh_ , yeah. You mean _that_ day.”

“Let’s not have any repeats of that day, shall we?” Briggs inserts, as he throws in a smirk.

“That depends on which parts,” Johnny says, tossing a mischievous grin over to Briggs and Mike. Briggs laughs while Mike tries to keep himself from blushing too hard.

How would Briggs even know they-?

Jakes, Paige and Charlie just look at the trio with confusion written all over their faces.

“Whatever happened to those pancakes anyway?” Mike asks.

“I think they got thrown away. Doesn’t matter now. What do you want? Like, shape-wise?” Johnny asks, getting the squirt bottle of batter he has ready.

Mike stares at it, unsure. He’s just gotten some of his appetite back because he did okay with the Taco he had with Johnny the night before. Soup would probably be better for him. But then again, he misses having something meatier on his stomach on more of a daily basis.

“Um,” Mike hums, as he looks around the room for ideas.

“Something hard,” Johnny suggests. Mike can tell he’s starting to get impatient because of his aiming the squirt bottle at him.  “C’mon, challenge me.”

Mike stares at him until an idea sweeps across his conscious.

“How about…the sun?”

“The sun? Pfft. Too easy,” Johnny preens, almost jogging in place. “I can do it in my sleep.”

“With rays of light,” Mike continues, smiling at Johnny in hopes of him understanding. “And a surfboard-oh, and the sun has to have a smiley face.”

“Aww,” Charlie coos from the sidelines. Mike gives her a bashful smile in her direction, while Johnny pouts at him in confusion.  The look on Paige’s face is curious amusement, while Jakes shakes his head and Briggs chortles from the other side of Johnny.

“What the hell is that supposed to be? A smiling sun with a _surfboard_?” Johnny huffs, as he shakes his head. He begins to take aim at Mike’s face with batter, so Mike pushes his arm away with a chuckle. “I said something hard, not childish Mike.”

“What’s the difference?” Jakes states, turning the page of his newspaper.

“ _Jakes_ ,” Charlie warns. Mike hears Paige snort behind her mug and sees Briggs wiggle his eyebrows in his direction.

“Huh?”  Johnny asks. He tilts his head at Mike, which gives Mike a really warm fuzzy feeling in his chest. Then proceeds to silently question everyone else in the room in obvious silent self-consciousness. “ _What_?”

Mike tries to keep himself from laughing at Johnny’s expense. He didn’t think this request would garner so much confusion.

 “Hey, people are hungry here. Get to it John boy,” Briggs surmises, from the corner. Mike looks around the room again and can conclude that Johnny was waiting for him to wake up in order to serve him first.

So, to speed things along he leans into Johnny’s side and whispers into his ear.

When he moves away Johnny smiles, then turns nearly bright red before exclaiming, “Coming right up!”

 

~~~g-r-a-c-e-l-a-n-d~~~

 

 “Oof!”Mike groans, when he feels a familiar weight on top of him. He opens his eyes to find Johnny laying on top of him, with a bored look on his face. Mike sighs, running a hand over the back Johnny’s head. He looks up to find his door closed, while admiring Johnny’s stealth in the process. “Johnny?”

“Um…yep?” Johnny answers, wiggling around a bit so that he is resting between Mike’s legs but also has his torso opposite on the side of him. He pulls his quilt over them both. “It’s hot as hell in my room.”

“That’s your excuse?” Mike queries, with humor in his tone as he stares down at Johnny. He’s making himself really comfortable and Mike can’t help but smirk even wider at the gesture.  

So far, since the detoxing and even at breakfast earlier this morning, Johnny seemed afraid to touch him. Or smother him in anyway ever since Mike low-key admitted he felt somewhat self-conscious about his body. This display of affection was nice to feel again.

Johnny just smiles, linking his fingers into Mike’s open palm. “Yep. So, how was breakfast?”

“It was good,” Mike says, grinning back at Johnny.

“Are you and Paige okay?” Mike asks, after a minute. They have been civil, lately, around him at least. Elsewhere, Mike wasn’t so sure.

“Yeah, just-“Johnny sighs. Mike can tell he wants to hold back, but he continues on anyway. “She just seems really…miserable? Like during all that and little while after.”

Mike turns so that he’s face to face with Johnny now. He looks into his eyes, which glance downwards, instead of at him.

“Hey,” Mike says, trying to his attention again. “What, did something happen again?” Johnny’s silence is starting to make him nervous.

“Nah, that’s not what I mean. Like,” Johnny mumbles, as he shakes his head. “She’s holding something back and…was trying to take it out on me when she started that fight with me. Trying to make it about her finding out about us. Thinking it about it is just annoying.”

“Wait, I thought you forgave her?” Mike wonders. He doesn’t mean to sound offended, or defensive about it. He just wishes they all would stop fighting. “She apologized, didn’t she?”

“I did, and she did but--I can’t forget. I’m allowed to be pissed off about it,” Johnny answers, too gruffly than Mike wanted to hear. “-Sometimes. Right?”

Mike stares back at him in deep thought. He knows Paige is still somewhat broken and self-destructive now. Whether it’s as a result of the thing with Lina, or her selling Mike out as a projection of her own guilt and then in turn wanting to end it all with her own life. Then there’s Johnny, who also came into play at the receiving end of her anger, when he also just wanted to try helping her. Not only that, there’s also whatever her life was before Graceland that’s affected her decision making thus far.

“I mean, I guess it’s payback…? For when I kept getting smart with you about Paige, when we were first hooking up,” Johnny adds, adding a self-deprecating snort right after. It causes Mike to feel a knot to develop in his stomach. He really hates it when Johnny gets like this. He just wants him happy. “Payback from the universe or something, from stealing you from her. I dunno man.”

“Johnny, you didn’t steal me. She-we both-“

“Mike,” Johnny warns. Mike stops and just takes in Johnny’s weary expression thrown in his direction. “I was insecure…and I tried to act like I didn’t care that you and her had been together, when it did bother me.”

Mike had to admit to himself that the little jealous exchanges they had with each other when they reunited again was definitely a two sided thing. It was still unnerving to hear Johnny say it again after all that’s happened.  

“I know,” Mike replies gently. It actually feels good to talk about this now, despite the apprehensiveness he originally felt when the conversation began. “I felt the same way when I was accusing you of being with Carlito.”

He wasn’t having as much of a difficult time accepting guilt anymore regarding that particular issue. He was wrong. It was even more wrong considering the fact that he pushed Johnny into weaponizing Carlito’s affection for him to use against him to complete this case. All of which Mike is very proud of Johnny for solving on his own nonetheless. However, he still feels the need to make it up to Johnny.

“You were right about Lucia though, not sure how,” Johnny says, throwing a small smile at him.

Mike closes his eyes before shaking his head. He knows Johnny misses her. He can tell by how he’d stare into space sometimes in deep thought a few times. He doesn’t want to dig into this wound anymore than he has already.  “No, Johnny, I wasn’t. You weren’t even with her yet.”

“I was thinking about it. It’s okay to just admit you were jealous.”

“Fine, yeah, I was,” Mike continues. He sits up, taking a deep breath as he looks at Johnny again. “I was a mess. I wasn’t the right choice to lead you guys. I didn’t want to disappoint anyone or screw up, so…I took it out on you.” He feels something in his chest loosening from the admittance.

“It’s not just you Mike. I told you,” Johnny sighs. Mike can’t tell if he’s aggravated with him again from his tone. It sounds too mellow and almost pitying? Understanding? Mike wasn’t sure. “We should’ve listened to you too. We all messed up. I hope Paige knows that now or eventually.”

“You hope she knows, what?” Mike answers, trying not to sound panicked. He feels a sense of dread coming.  “About what?”

“Whatever it was that went down between you two and that sex trafficking ring, was probably not only your fault, I mean.”

“Oh.”

A flash of memory of Paige slapping him in frustration, rebellion, defiance or an adult tantrum crossed Mike’s mind in that instant. An image of her sobbing as Mike “bought” her to bring her back to Graceland. Then of her manipulating him to-

“She-she didn’t want me keeping the ring open…When I came to get her back from Sulla,” Mike blurts out. He hopes letting it out will make the memories stop.

Johnny’s eyebrows furrow in confusion. “Whoa, wait a minute. What?”

“When I came to take her back home...she got pissed at me when I told her we had to keep the ring running to get Carlito and Sulla. When I had to establish a link with the buses and him. She was only supposed to focus on the drugs, since she’s DEA…Jakes and I knew it was too much for her to handle alone and then Jess kept pressuring me too-“

Johnny quickly sits up, so much so that his height reached Mike’s. The way he’s staring at Mike, causes Mike to feel a bit nervous but he can’t help but to resume spilling his guts. He hadn’t gotten the chance to talk to anyone fully about this. Least of all Paige. All he got from Paige at the time was violence, belligerence, selfishness, threats and more violence. All of which both directly and indirectly led Mike to flat-lining to now recovering from an oxy addiction.

Johnny stares at Mike in worry, leaning in closer and gripping their linked hands tighter. Mike could feel himself starting to tremble involuntarily.

“What else?” Johnny presses, in almost hushed tones.

Mike swallows, before continuing with, “She didn’t listen to me. I told her that if we closed it down, then and there, more girls would come in and out of somewhere else with Sulla at the lead again. It would never stop as long as we didn’t have Sulla. We would never get Carlito. It seemed like Lina was the only one who mattered to her and nothing else.”

He continues feeling Johnny’s gently caresses against hand, in support. The movement spurs Mike on to continue speaking, almost reliving the memories firsthand all over again.

Why didn’t she listen? Why couldn’t she just-

How couldn’t he even tell all this to Charlie?

Mike knew it said a lot that he couldn’t even bring himself to tell Charlie all of this and she was one of two people he could trust the most in this house. It was a great and bad thing at the same time. He realizes now that isn’t as honest as he should be with Charlie, as well as the fact that he could be so much better at communicating with Johnny. Even now more than ever.

“Mike.”

“She hit me when I told her no and…just as we were leaving she got slapped around by Sulla. For a second-I didn’t feel bad about it happening to her so I didn’t turn around when I heard it happen.”

He couldn’t get over the split second Johnny had a look of alarm on his face.

Mike sniffs, feeling tears well up in his eyes.  He didn’t want Johnny to be afraid of him.

This was a mistake.

“I’m sorry Johnny…I shouldn’t have said anything-”

“Mikey, no,” Johnny shushes, pulling Mike close. Johnny pats Mike’s head as he rests it on his shoulder. “That’s why I’m here with you. Why can’t you understand that?”

Mike closes his eyes trying to stop himself from crying. Johnny moves Mike away from his shoulder to get a better look at him.

“Mikey, hey,” Johnny encourages. “Don’t stop Mike... Keep going. Tell me. I’m right here.”

Mike begins shaking his head, biting his lips to keep from speaking. Johnny looks at him, in sadness, seemingly about to give up when Mike feels himself speak again;

“-I couldn’t stop feeling guilty—She said my word didn’t mean shit, yet she kept forcing me to only pay attention to only getting Lina out. She wasn’t the only important part at all. I tried to tell her. If only she listened to me….”

He doesn’t miss the guilty expression on Johnny’s face. Mike had to venture that he was probably feeling remorseful about doing the same thing and beginning something with Lucia in the process of it all.

“I wanted to save all the girls like she wanted but…It wasn’t enough. She threatened me again to get the Bureau to buy all the girls… She thought I was being selfish when I told her no. Then Lina got killed, by Sulla, when I tried getting her out…he told me to take care of it. I was afraid of telling Paige or the Bureau what happened in there. I knew if I did, all of our work would be worthless. I had to…burn her body…and make Paige believe she just ran away.”

Johnny immediately gives Mike a look of shock before settling into thoughtfulness. The only sound that could be heard between the two is Mike’s sniffing for a minute.

“That’s what she was arguing with you over during Sauce Night? Damn Mike,” Johnny breathes, shaking his head in disbelief. He bites the corner of his lip as he continues watching Mike.

“I couldn’t do anything right in her eyes,” Mike shrugs, scared to stare Johnny in the eyes again. “I screwed up. I couldn’t save anyone-”

“But you saved those other girls Mike,” Johnny offers, turning Mike’s chin up so that he looked him in the eyes again. “You couldn’t save-“

“Lina-“

“-Lina. It doesn’t mean you did everything wrong. I mean, even I had to--um,” Johnny halts, and the strange expression on his face breaks Mike’s concentration until he continues again. “Do things, you or the other guys didn’t or wouldn’t like…Or know about, to get through the rest of the case.”

“What kind of things?” Mike inquires, slightly afraid of what the answer might be. He doesn’t mean to change the subject. However, he’s wondering what Johnny could be hiding. He didn’t want to force Johnny to tell him anything but what he seems to be hiding seemed important. He was even more shocked that Johnny didn’t question him much on the Lina situation. It was like Johnny understood Mike, through his natural nature of empathy, even though he had a look of horror on his face. There was also guilt there for reasons Mike didn’t really understand. 

“Just in general. You know,” Johnny answers, and done quite flimsily in Mike’s opinion. He wraps his arms around Mike and pecks him quickly on the nose. “I know you don’t wanna hear this Mike, but Paige was selfish…Don’t give me that look. All of us were in our own way.”

“But she-“

“She needs to grow up if she’s still holding that over you,” Johnny argues, in obvious irritation. Mike can’t do anything but listen intently. “Or did hold over you. We all love her, but no one has to take that shit from anyone they care about. It’s messed up.”

“That’s why you hit her back?”

“Tch, she hit me first. And besides, I was trying to stop her. She admitted that,” Johnny groans. “It was like, she was acting like a kid ‘cause she couldn’t get her way with you and me. And she called _me_ immature? I know I could’ve came at her better, but it was mostly her fault man.”

Mike nods and sniffs again. He had to admit Johnny made a great point. His issue with Paige only slightly paralleled Mike’s own issues her.

Mike reaches to wipe his eyes, although Johnny’s thumb gets there first to wipe the tear remnants away.

Mike smiles while detangling his legs from Johnny’s a bit as they were starting to get cramped.

“You feeling better?” Johnny asks, stroking Mike’s face.  

“Yeah. Thanks,” Mike says. He kisses Johnny’s cheek, causing him giggle in the most adorable way. Mike squints at him, wanting to lighten the mood a bit. “Did you just _giggle_?”

“I don’t _giggle_ ,” Johnny pouts, sucking teeth. He rolls away from Mike when he tries to kiss him again. He giggles again as Mike pretends to nibble at his cheek. “Stop! Men don’t giggle.”

“You do. And I like it,” Mike comments, wrapping his arm around Johnny’s side. “Come closer.”

Johnny presses closer to Mike in compliance so that they’re chest to chest. The warmth generating from the contact makes Mike feel even better. It was starting to get cold in his room again. And this is the perfect remedy for it.

“Dude, you really feeling better?” Johnny asks again, searching Mike’s eyes. Mike searches his right back, feeling a good kind of weightless again. Much more weightless than he’s felt during the times he was using. Talking like this with Johnny was so cathartic. He’ll have to however keep Paige’s collab with Sid under wraps for a little longer. He knows he’ll have to let the cat out of the bag soon. Probably sooner than he thinks or knows. Someone he could deeply trust like Johnny or Charlie. Maybe even Jakes since he knows how to keep a secret. Maybe even tell all three of them at the same time to really get the information out there and really help Mike stay clean.

 Having only Briggs and Paige be in on the secret, voluntarily or involuntarily, didn’t sit well enough with Mike when he thought about it in the long run. It wasn’t fair. He had a right to think it wasn’t fair. Mike fully realized now that he had a right to be pissed off about it. Such as  Johnny,  when Paige and himself blew up at each other for whatever the full reason was that Mike still isn’t too sure about. He’s hopes he’ll come clean about that someday too.

“Yes,” Mike answers, as he shifts in bed attempting to pull their quilt closer. “This is…nice. Sorry, I went on a tangent. What else did you want to talk about?”

“Anytime. And, um, it’s…I’ll tell you later,” Johnny laments, looking visibly uncomfortable in a way that doesn’t sit right with Mike.

“No, Johnny. Just tell me,” Mike softly prods, cupping Johnny’s cheeks. This is the perfect time for him to spill his guts too. Who knows when they will have to jump right out of here for some unknown reason or get interrupted.

“Later, okay? I promise,” Johnny counters, taking Mike’s hand to kiss. He looks into Mike’s eyes with a mix of determination and nervousness in such an intensity that it takes Mike aback. “Don’t worry about it right now. Okay?”

“Alright,” Mike relents. For some reason, his eyes travel down beneath the quilt covering them after a moment. “Hey, how long have you been shirtless?”

“I didn’t have one on when I came in here. I told you my room was hot. How didn’t you notice?” Johnny chuckles.  He then gives Mike a look of understanding. “I get it. Your mind was on other things.”

“Right, but you usually wear a hoodie when it’s hot in the house most of the time,” Mike corrects, ignoring the small laugh of ‘shut up’. He shivers from the immediate contact coldness of Johnny’s feet pressing against his own socked feet. How was that even possible?

 “And I almost forgot, I have to see Logan later,” Mike adds absentmindedly. He snorts at the next expression Johnny gives him. “Like tomorrow, definitely.”  He was most likely going to get an earful when he finally meets with the guy again after ignoring his calls. Mike followed Johnny’s advice a little to take it somewhat easier because of the detoxing and getting back on his feet the past couple of days.

“That dude’s an asshole,” Johnny grumbles. “From what I heard.”

Mike nods in agreement. He’ll have to go in even greater detail about that particular situation. Incidentally, he instead allows himself to be butterfly kissed into the mattress until he and Johnny leave for dinner downstairs hours later.  


	26. Chapter 26

“What’s this? You leaving me El Pulpo?”

Mike turns around, from where he stood in front of Johnny’s mirror, to find Johnny facing his direction with his eyes closed. Mike can also see that Johnny is leaning his head upwards from where he lay in his bed.

“Your tie’s crooked,” Johnny continues.

“Your eyes are closed Johnny, how can you see my tie’s crooked?” Mike asks, genuinely curious about the answer.  Johnny lightly shrugs as he continues lying comfortable in his bed.

“Let me…tie it for you.”

Mike looks at his reflection in the mirror and can see his tie is indeed crooked. He thought he would be able to take care of it himself and let Johnny get some rest, but alas. Johnny was much better at it than him.

Mike sighs before making his way over to Johnny in the bed. He hears Johnny give a low rumble of laughter before sitting up, eyes still closed as he reaches up to Mike’s tie.

“You should just take it easy Mikey,” Johnny whispers, as his hands make quick work of the fabric between his fingers.

“I really have to see Logan today Johnny. He’s been calling. I’ll be back right after, I promise.”

“It’s like, what, four in morning?” Johnny murmurs.

Mike nods. He wanted to get up early in time for his meeting. He didn’t want to give Logan even more of a reason to be a hard on him.

“You know you were talking in your sleep?” Johnny mumbles. Mike gapes at him, becoming wide eyed for a moment.

“About?”

Johnny shrugs. “Something about Sid-there.” He finishes tying the tie. “And Paige, for some reason.”

“What did I say about Paige?” Mike asks, keeping his voice leveled. “-and Sid?” He had a sneaking suspicion that he had been talking in his sleep for a while now. He remembers waking up out of nowhere, speaking gibberish really loud. Covers everywhere. Cold sweats.  Then there was Johnny hovering over him with a concerned expression on his face when Mike woke up.

Johnny yawns and then shrugs. “Something about-I dunno man. Something crazy. You said she and Sid were chasing you around, trying to kill you or something.”

Mike keeps silent for a minute, concentrating on his thoughts. “Yeah, that’s…it does sound crazy. Sorry.”

“Well, not really. After what she put you through…and whatever else you haven’t told me yet,” Johnny replies, settling back into his bed. “And what that son-of-a-bitch Sid did. I understand the weird dreams happening.” He props his head in his hand, openly staring at Mike. Mike stares back, smiling briefly before giving a once over to his tie. The morning sun already began seeping through Johnny’s windows slightly, illuminating pale blue light into the room.

“Thanks. It looks great,” Mike compliments, running his fingers over the fabric again.

“Only because you’re the one wearing it,” Johnny remarks.

“Wow,” Mike laughs, he finds himself inching closer to Johnny on the bed.  “That was really… smooth.”

“It’s a gift,” Johnny sighs dramatically, glancing at Mike through sleepy eyes as Mike kisses him presumably goodbye. The two of them stare at each other for a prolonged moment, until Johnny breaks the silence. “So…anyway, don’t you have to-?”

Mike thinks, and thinks….

He really doesn’t want to hear Logan’s complaints...or Logan blowing up his phone again.

“He can wait,” Mike says, pulling Johnny closer. Their foreheads lightly bump into each other the closer they become. Mike takes in Johnny’s look of uncertainty, beginning to feel a twinge of guilt that he probably shouldn’t try Logan’s patience any more than he has already.

“I don’t want you to get in trouble Mike,” Johnny whispers, yawning at the end. “I’m a bad influence on you.”

“This is my decision. You’re not forcing me to do anything,” Mike clarifies, undoing his tie and the rest of his clothes. Johnny watches him, his face still showing slight worry. Mike flinches in surprise when Johnny’s fingers reach out and trail along the scars on his stomach.

Johnny bites his lip as removes his fingers. “Do those still hurt? The recent ones I mean?”

Mike grabs a random folded shirt from Johnny’s nightstand and pulls it over himself. He loves the small smile of admiration Johnny gives him.

“I don’t remember saying you could wear my shirts,” Johnny teases.

“To answer your first question,” Mike starts, settling back on the bed with Johnny against his chest. “Sometimes I feel it. Sometimes, I think I’m imagining it.”

“What, like a phantom pain?”

“Mhm,” Mike sighs. “I know it’s all in my head most of the time because-when I start feeling it, I want-” Mike stops, not wanting to say it. He knows he’s supposed to be stronger than this. He’s gotten through what was supposed to be the hardest part of his dependence on-

He hasn’t even touched alcohol or cough syrup. Mike couldn’t help but feel frustrated at his tolerance for not having a drug in his system seemingly being haywire once in a while.

“Was it the candy that triggered it?” Johnny inquires, his tone sounding sad. “The candy I gave you-”

“No,” Mike says, bringing Johnny’s chin up so that they were eye to eye. “Nothing really triggers it. Yet, something else. I can’t explain it. It’s not your fault Johnny.”

“I believe in you Mike. I believe you’re stronger than this. I’m just worried about you,” Johnny murmurs. “We all are.”

“I know, and thanks,” Mike says, promptly kissing Johnny to get rid of his pout. “I’d be worried if you didn’t.”

Mike runs his hands down Johnny’s chest, then back up to Johnny’s face. Mike undoubtedly felt better under Johnny's watchful gaze. He didn’t want to risk another nightmare…so a brief thought of trying something different, yet simple, popped into his head.

“Johnny, I got an idea,” Mike laments, sitting up. “Let’s switch.”  

“Switch _what_?”

“Let me sleep on your chest this time.”

“Nah, no, I like laying like this Mike. No,” Johnny whines, burying his head deeper into Mike’s chest. It was his favorite spot. Mike should’ve known the request would come with resistance from Johnny.

“Johnny, just this once? I want-”Mike licks his lips, trying to find the words...some sort of honest excuse so that Johnny wouldn’t keep worrying about him. “I don’t think we ever switched places before.”  

Mike kept staring at Johnny’s chest, reveling in how cozy it looked at this moment. It seemed that Johnny always found himself cozying up to Mike like a cat. Even when they were first having sex, which they haven’t had for a long time now, Mike always the one who-

“Okay. Fine,” Johnny sighs, after frowning for a moment. He slowly moves further up on the bed, as Mike moves in the opposite direction.

Mike wraps his arms around Johnny’s waist, staring up at him before his head occupied space on Johnny’s chest.

Mike felt…

“You comfortable down there?” Johnny asks, running his fingers through Mike’s hair.

“Feels different,” Mike mumbles. Yet great…safe. “What about up there, Jose’?”

“Again, with the Jose’,” Johnny mutters smugly, but laughs right after. “I don’t think anyone here’s called me that as much as you do.”

“Do you want me to call you Jose’, or do you like Joseph better?”

“It don’t matter, man,” Johnny yawns. “Whatever you call…I’ll answer. I’m here for you…Haven’t we been through this?”

“I’m here for you too- _Jo_ seph,” Mike says, with a heavier accent on the first few syllables. Johnny hums in laughter in response.

“I know,” Johnny smiles, kissing Mike briefly on the head. “Michael.”

Although, Mike felt as if he could rest for thousands of nights against Johnny’s chest, he couldn’t also help feeling that he was missing something extremely important by not following through with his appointment with Logan.

What could Logan have possibly wanted anyway?

 


	27. Chapter 27

"…nny? John."

"Hrm?"

Johnny rolls over on his side. He's only subconsciously careful to mind the person sleeping next to him.

Or so he thought was asleep.

Johnny's eyes open slightly to find Mike hovering over him. He looks as if he just woken up as well.

Mike smiles when Johnny opens his eyes fully.

"I had the weirdest, _dopest_ dream man," Johnny coos, as a sleepy smile spreads across his face. He smiles even wider when Mike glances at him curiously. Probably wondering what prompted his strange confession.

"Dude, it wasn't anything crazy dirty or anything—"

At least this time anyway. Johnny was also grateful to not have a nightmare involving Sid's head exploding again. Or being part of a harem with Carlito-

He didn't know which was worse.

"Right."

"No, I swear man," Johnny laughs. Mike's grin distracts him for a moment. He bites his lip as his eyes flicker to Mike's dark blue eyes.

"Well? Wanna know what it was about?"

Mike makes an unsure visage in jest and Johnny lightly pushes him away in faux contempt. "You jerk! I'm gonna tell you anyway."

Johnny pulls Mike down so that he's lying next to him instead of over him. Mike grins as Johnny holds him closer.

"Okay, so, I had this dream where I woke up and you were a woman," Johnny rambles. He takes in Mike's look of surprise before continuing. "And Jakes was a woman too for some reason, and Briggs was in prison. You and Paige never got together, but she was acting weird about us-Charlie was acting weird too-. And we were solving all these cases together—that was the dope part. Then I found-"

He continues on, reveling in Mike's enraptured gaze. It instantly reminds Johnny of the time they first kissed. That time when they alone together cleaning those guns and Johnny told him about what went down with Carlito. It was all a mere memory now. Now, they had to deal with other assholes like Ari and Toros-

"Are you sure you weren't a woman too?" Mike questions, once Johnny finishes. He has that look of, 'do you know what you're doing?' The one he usually has on his face for times like these.

"Yeah, I was there. I would know Mikey."

Mike suddenly softly laughs into Johnny's shoulder, putting most of his weight onto him.

"What's so funny?" Johnny mock whines, as he laughs along with Mike.

"Nothing," Mike sighs, gathering himself up again. He stops smiling as he stares at Johnny.

Johnny raises his eyebrows in question, wondering what was going through Mike's mind.

"Do you miss being with women?" Mike asks.

Oh.

Johnny looks down, avoiding Mike's neutral gaze. He can't tell what Mike's feelings are behind the question. He feels a sense of embarrassment crawling on his back.

Of course no one can't control their dreams but-He proceeds to hope that Mike doesn't think he's planning to sleep around on him or something-

"Sometimes," Johnny admits, while still looking away from Mike. Jenny was the last woman he had been with. Never in all his life did he expect to be in a relationship this long-and with another guy no less. Something that was stable-mostly stable since they did break up briefly.

"Hey…it's okay if you do," Mike states gently. The assurance causes Johnny to look at him again in hopefulness. Mike's expression is soft, and definitely understanding. "I do too sometimes. We can't change that."

"Yeah, I know...I just-I don't wanna make you feel bad," Johnny says, furrowing his eyebrows and putting his fingers together. "I don't want you to think I wish you were a woman or anything-or that I'll mess around or-"

"I know you don't think that," Mike interjects, rubbing Johnny's back. "I know you aren't, okay? That's not you."

Johnny looks at him sadly as his mind wanders back to that Lucia situation. He loved and cared about Lucia and Mike...However, although their relationship wasn't clearly defined at the time, it was still messed up. He knows how hurt Mike became. Then almost immediately right after Mike almost lost his life. Well, did lose his life for six minutes.

How much could a person go through?

"Johnny, you-" Mike stops, then looks as if he's thinking about something.

"What's wrong?" Johnny queries, frowning a bit while cupping Mike's face. Mike looks to the closed door, then back down at Johnny. Johnny stares at him in concern, hoping his expression prompts Mike to say what he wants to say.

"It's quiet," Mike states, in a manner that lets Johnny know he's still in deep thought whilst he's talking. "I haven't heard anything from Logan in a long time. The last time he called was last night."

"Yeah? But you've only been up for about a minute Mikey."

"I've been up for half an hour-"

"What?! Oh, so you've just been watching me sleep?"

"Sort of. I thought I heard something. Did you?"

"Hear what?"

"I mean, did you hear someone crying before we went to sleep? Or in the middle of the night?"

Johnny looks over at his clock to find it displaying late evening time, past midnight.

They slept too long apparently. If he didn't know any better, he'd almost assume was a new day. Did they actually oversleep until the next day? The only thing Johnny remembers is Mike getting ready to see Logan, changing his mind and his shirt before going back to sleep.

"Nah, I didn't. I was knocked out. I thought you were too?" Johnny answers, wrapping his arms around Mike's waist. He could tell this was something beginning to worry Mike. "Why didn't you say anything earlier about it?"

Mike shakes his head. "I dunno. I guess I forgot. Nevermind."

Johnny blinks in confusion. "You were the one who-"

"It's nothing. Really, Johnny."

With that, Johnny receives his first kiss of the day.

It then escalates into quick nips on each other's shoulders, opened mouths and hands roaming everywhere. All of which causes Johnny to tremble, for a good reason in a long time, when he abruptly hears-

"House Meeting!" bellowing from the hallway.

Multiple times.

And of course it's Jakes.

Johnny groans in irritation at the same time Mike sighs into his stomach. Mike's the first to sit up. He gets off the bed while reaching his hand out in Johnny's direction in expectation.

Johnny pouts as he takes Mike's hand, getting up but dragging his feet to Mike's amusement. He didn't want to leave their little world so soon.

 

~~~g-r-a-c-e-l-a-n-d~~~

 

"Mike told me he likes your braids today," Johnny comments, trying not to laugh. He had to get Jakes back for interrupting Mike and himself. "Especially in an updo like that."

"Dreds, Johnny," Jakes and Mike correct, at the same time. Johnny blinks and glances at them.

What was up with that?

"I've always liked his dreds," Mike says, looking at Johnny. Johnny searches Mike's face in alarm, wondering if he was joking along with him or not. "He knows that already."

" _Excuse me?_ " Johnny gasps.

"Thanks," Jakes mumbles, as he searches through the stack of mail in his hands.

Did he really call a house meeting for mail?! They could've stayed in bed.

And also, that was a really weird moment.

Johnny shakes his head side to side quickly as if he just came up for air after a good surf. He has to be dreaming this weird conversation up. He wasn't the really crazy jealous type like Mike seems to be sometimes, but-

Maybe he was overreacting.

Now that he thought about it, Johnny could've sworn Jakes was supposed to be out catching some rednecks and an elusive British dude with Charlie and Amber in the glades again. Was he really supposed to be here right now?

Mike smiles at Johnny briefly as he takes mail Jakes hands to him.

"Here," Jakes says, handing Johnny a large stack of mail. "Someone's popular."

Johnny sucks his teeth before taking the stack.

He never really gets _this_ much mail.

When Johnny flips through the pile, he finds out it's mostly stuff from the Bureau.

Then there's one from a nearby state prison…?

Johnny narrows his eyes at the address. Maybe it was a summons to an upcoming case he needed to testify in?

He snorts at the thought. There was way too much going on for him to-

All of a sudden the trio react to the sound of a slammed door in the opposite direction. Johnny angles his head in that direction…only to find that it's Charlie bursting out of Paige's room.

"Hey, where-"Johnny starts, but then concern washes over his face. "What's wrong?" The closer Charlie gets towards them, the more Johnny can see how pissed off and tired her face expresses. Red eyes, hair unkempt-

"Don't we have to-?" Jakes begins, but stops in the instant Charlie grabs Mike's arm. From what Johnny could see, she seems to be ignoring Jakes and himself to instead settle her gaze on Mike.

"We need to talk," she whispers hoarsely to Mike. Johnny recognizes it as voice she usually uses when she's been up all night, or crying. He looks at her, then at Mike's nervous expression for answers.

Before Mike has the chance to respond, Charlie's already dragging him off in the direction of his room by his arm. Mike gives one last look of panic at Johnny until he turns around to let Charlie continue shuffling him away.

What was that about?

"And what the hell was that about?!" Johnny exclaims, when Mike's door closes.

Jakes sighs, then hands the rest of the mail back to Johnny.

"Wait, where you going? Yo! Jakes?!" Johnny calls out, frowning when Jakes walks away from him. He has his phone out now and is looking at it in frustration.

"None of your business," Jakes answers back, heading downstairs as he inputs something into his phone. Johnny stares at the staircase before shaking his head in disbelief. What exactly did Mike and he miss while they were asleep for so long?

 

A low sob grabs Johnny's attention away from his thoughts.

 

It sounds as if it's coming from-

He follows the noise, wandering near Paige's room. The door is wide open as Charlie left it.

Johnny approaches her door carefully, still grasping the mail in his hands. He felt something was horribly wrong but-

"Paige?" Johnny calls out into Paige's room. Her room is only slightly dark as a nearby lamp is dimly lit. It's lit the rest of the way however just as Johnny peeks the rest of his head in.

He's met with Paige's tired, blood shot eyes almost glaring back at him.

"Um, Jakes had your mail-do you-?" Johnny stammers, holding said mail awkwardly in Paige's direction. He feels apprehensive about coming into her space. Especially with how sleepy she looks…and whatever caused her lack of sleep had Charlie involved.

Things had been less tense between Paige and himself since they apologized to each other at The Drop that night. She had her moments of making Mike or himself feel not wanted…but he ignored it.

Johnny realizes that it would be hypocritical on his part since he was still on the road to forgiveness with her. Her slight attitude towards Mike every so often didn't exactly help though. Then there was the time she, Jakes and Charlie watched over Mike and himself while Mike was going through is detox. She's had so much progress-then in Johnny's eyes she'd take two steps back.

Paige nods quickly in response, wiping her eyes in quick succession. Johnny steps into her room neatly piling Paige's mail onto a desk behind him. When finishes, he puts his fingers together playing with his nails while trying not to invade too much of Paige's space.

"Are you and Charlie okay?" Johnny quickly asks. Even though he's avoiding eye contact with her, can't help but worry. Maybe he should leave so that she could-

"She's always liked you guys better than me," Paige comments, before almost snickering to herself dejectedly. Johnny's eyes widen in response.

He wasn't expecting much of an answer–but he most definitely wasn't expecting a comment like that.

What is she even talking about?

"What?! Nah, Paige. No," Johnny shakes his head in disbelief. He finds himself standing closer to Paige, but still keeping a distance.

"She loves all of us. Especially you."

"No, she doesn't," Paige scoffs. "At least not me anyway. I don't think she ever did. Half the things she's said to me was just to get me to shut up-"

"Chuck's not like that-"

"She was like that when I first got here…of course you forgot," Paige sighs.

A blurry distant memory of finding Paige alone at the beach passes through Johnny's mind. Of finding her in a similar state as she is now-the same players involved except with the added bonus of Mike perhaps. Of seeing Paige angry that Johnny managed to find her-She contemplated running away then…would this be the third time?

"It'll be okay P. We'll all be okay," Johnny encourages. He doesn't want her leave. All of them just need to talk things out-give each other a little breather maybe. "Just let her calm down. You know how she gets sometimes." He has the urge to hug Paige or hold her hand but he's afraid she'll lash out at him.

"She told me I needed to, 'get my head out of my ass and get over myself',  _J_ _ohnny_ ," Paige grunts out. She faces him and becomes wide eyed when she sees Johnny's apprehensive expression. "And you agree with that too, don't you?"

"She gets mad at me too," Johnny offers. He tries to smile as he says, "I mess up all the time! More than you even!" Maybe he could tell her about what happened with Sid to make her feel better? It's horrible news, but at least she wouldn't feel down on herself anymore.

Part of him is somewhat troubled by what else Charlie might have told Paige. He's never seen Paige this upset with Charlie in a long time-

Was Charlie too honest by whatever she said? Or was she just speaking out of anger? Anything regarding Mike being hurt was a touchy subject with her, and Johnny as well.

Johnny began getting a little disappointed in himself at the thought that perhaps what Charlie probably said was something Paige needed to hear after all.

"Paige, whatever's going on between you two, I'm sorry, okay? I didn't-"

"Just _stop it_ Johnny," Paige cries. "You'll always be on her and Mike's side…it doesn't matter. He's not the person we thought he was. He's not some wounded animal we need to keep from running away-"

Johnny purses his lips, choosing to listen instead of respond again.

"He-he doesn't care about anyone else but himself. Everything is about him-This whole house is on his side-"

"While he was in that hospital I didn't care if he lived or died Johnny," Paige utters softly. She's staring straight into Johnny's eyes so intensely it makes him feel trapped. As if she's daring him to respond. "He didn't care about Lina's life-so I didn't care about his. He kept acting like there were drugs sitting there-When it was only lost and abused girls!"

"I get that Paige-"

"Do you? You didn't act like it at the time."

 

Johnny couldn't help feeling anger and sadness bubble from within him.

There was so many messed up things still left over from that whole situation. And now it was blending into their current case.

He wanted to pretend he didn't hear Paige confess being indifferent to whether or not Mike lived. It explained her behavior back then…not wanting to see him. However, she couldn't still think that now? Wanting him dead? And this recent jab he knew was about that weird Carlito, Paige, Mike and Lucia love quadrilateral type of deal-

"Lina didn't deserve to be killed. She didn't deserve to be-"

"So you're saying you cared more about a _complete stranger_ than someone on your own team? Someone you actually liked? Someone that you've known for years? Someone you're supposed to care about? You know what Paige—you're wrong," Johnny gushes out in an instant. He misses the slight twitch Paige gives him in response. Also the fact that she seems to be on the verge of tears again.

"You keep thinking you're a victim, and everyone's attacking you…it's not cool Paige," Johnny continues, shaking his head vehemently. "I'm not defending Mike because we're together, so I'd appreciate it if you didn't come at me with that. And he didn't kill Lina."

Johnny thought he could keep his mouth shut, but-she needed to hear this. "He's not perfect. He wasn't always right and he admitted that. All of us had to go through crazy shit-It was horrible what happened to ALL of those girls- But who do you think you are Paige? You didn't have authority over anyone, and you for damn sure don't now."

Paige blinks slowly, as if she's in a daze before facing away from Johnny again.

Johnny turns away from Paige, mentally kicking himself for even considering on telling her about Sid to make her feel better.

What the hell was he thinking?!

He was also beginning to understand her attitude towards Mike, as well as himself by extension, in the previous weeks. Johnny thought he was starting to forgive her for that fight weeks ago-But hearing her sense of entitlement, maliciousness and anger towards the wrong people hurt him all over again.

 

"He'd never accept me apologizing to him anyway," Paige sniffs, after a few minutes. "There's no point. And I thought helping him with his problem would end this. Would stop all of this-"

"Can you blame him?" Johnny asks, in a gentler tone this time. He's frowning while continuing to avoid eye contact with her. "I mean, the way you've been acting towards him-he probably picked up on you not wanting him around anymore. You even knocked him down when he got out of the hospital and he was trying to help you-"

"I know what I did. I don't need _you_ or _Charlie_ telling me anymore!"

Johnny huffs as he puts his fingers together again absentmindedly.

More silence, then Paige sniffing were the only sounds he could hear.

Johnny hated this. The only silver lining to this was that both of them got something off their chests, even if one of them was in the wrong.

What seems like forever passes when Johnny finds the courage to speak up.

"Paige, I love you okay? Even if…Paige?" He faces her again, only to find her nodding off to sleep.

The sight makes him sad…guilty even.

Everything seemed to be going so well with everyone forgiving each other-

At least he thought.

Johnny stands up, unsure of what to do but he acts anyway. So, he gently pushes Paige down on the bed so that her head rested on her pillow. Hopefully she could get some much needed rest now.

It was really the least he could do.

Johnny knows that he let his vulnerability and fear get to him again. Paige most likely was speaking out of anger and frustration for herself. And him, he couldn't exactly say the same.

"He doesn't belong to anyone," Johnny suddenly hears behind him while he's near Paige's door frame.

He turns his head slightly to find Paige crawling under her covers. Her face is still stained with tears, nose red, eyes bloodshot and agony permeating through the room into Johnny's bones.

"He never belonged to any of us. We can't fix him."

 

_"I think… she wants to fix you."_

 

_"Fix what?"_

 

_"I think she wants to save you-"_

 

_"You guys are really, really adorable with this constant irrelevant advice, but... why do you— Look, no, no. I'm not the dog in this analogy!"_

 

_"You're not?"_

 

_"No!"_

 

_"Why do you love to be locked down dude? Don't be tame. Spread the seed!"_

 

_"Mike, we're not saying you can't go home with her. We're just saying that she can't adopt you because you have already been adopted-"_

 

_"-By us!"_

 

Johnny shakes the memories away, trying to avoid thinking about where else everything went wrong.

It was so easy to blame only the bad guys they went after for the breakdown in their lives.

 

_"You're ours."_

_"You guys are both wrong."_

_"We will see-"_

 

The only difficult part of all this was trying not mistake the bad guys with themselves.


	28. Chapter 28

Mike really had no idea what to expect from Charlie dragging him away from Jakes and Johnny.

She originally stormed out of Paige's room to make a beeline for himself in the hallway.

He took in her exhausted features and voice as she talked-

About how her kid didn't deserve to be punished because Briggs was untrustworthy and selfish-

Then hearing her cry that her kid deserved a life, even if his parents couldn't get theirs together. It wouldn't have been fair to him to not have a chance…A chance to do great things…to make his parents proud if even they'd never get together again, she explained to him. That's why she left after beating herself up on the way to the clinic with Paige…and then leaving before her name was even called.

"I couldn't go through with it-" she went on at the time, shaking her head sadly as Mike held her. "My little boy deserved a fighting chance...not death. Paul backed me into a corner-"

Mike couldn't help but think back to a time where he wished his parents got rid of him-That not living was better than living in an unpredictable household. His father guzzling drink after drink. His mom pretending she didn't see or telling Mike he deserved what he got…Even with Briggs and Charlie's faults, they were nowhere on par with his own parents. Their kid would've felt loved-

"Who did I think I was? Who do we think we are-Who does Briggs think he is? I would've lived in regret for the rest of my life" she diverges on, as Mike continued listening intently. He could feel so much pain emanating through her, even as she got so much off her chest.

He wondered if his harsh and ugly words at his intervention still cut her deep, deeper than the wounds she left on herself. That fact that she had to even lie about carrying this new person instead her-before she even confessed about 'splitting the difference', Mike could see more of a beautiful glow to her.

All of it was gone now.

 

All he saw and felt was that Charlie was more than disappointed in herself…carrying so much guilt from her past, present and not wanting it to lead to her future. Not wanting her actions of spite against Briggs to diminish a new life-

Mike didn't know what to feel besides a steady gnawing ache from deep within him.

"We're not death-But we keep bringing death to other people-…And now he's gone-And it's my fault." She blamed herself mostly for getting drugged by those dumb rednecks. How could she? None of this was any of her fault.

She explained how she heard Paige crying after coming home from the hospital. Then Paige admitting to her some of what happened between Mike and her. All of which kept Charlie from planning her next trip to Florida with Jakes and Amber. She stayed up all night with Paige-listening to her and chastising her at the same time.

Mike's heart rose to his chest while Charlie told him-anticipating her saying the words "she sent Sid after you."

 

But they never came.

"I should've talked to you first instead of going to Paige," Charlie murmurs, after what seems to be hours of silence. Mike immediately shakes his head no, wanting to speak up again. "No, Mike. I've always been closer to you than her-next to Paul. I just thought-"

Mike only stares at her, not knowing how to respond.

"Did I tell you about when Paige first got here? I gave her a hard time…I wasn't in a great space around certain people that were like her…I carried this baggage from a time when I was a kid…and I took it out on her. Which is why I'd try to support her more in front of you guys sometimes, even if I didn't agree with what she's doing."

"Even when I insulted her, she still tried being friends with me-" Charlie whispers in disbelief. "I felt… guilty. Like I was no better than- I looked at myself and wanted to treat her better, and other people like her better. Treating her like crap wasn't going to take those memories away. Even if some of the things I said to her wasn't always wrong."

"And by people like her…you mean?"

"Her family's loaded," Charlie answers. "I could tell by the way she acted around us. Then I read what was in her file before she moved in. Rich people-and girls like her gave me and my family a hard time when I was growing up. Entitled, spoiled—anything she wanted was supposed to be hers. That made her a kickass agent but in house I couldn't take it sometimes."

Mike takes a breath, trying to keep his own neurons from frying his brain.

There were still so many secrets in this house. He barely saw Charlie bicker with Paige during the time he's known them. Sure, they had slight disagreements. But Charlie being anything less than warm to her seemed like an occurrence fit for an alternate reality.

What else was going on between closed doors?

"Did you have a problem with Jakes? His family was-"

"No, just her. Jakes-I was used to being around…I didn't have a problem with him even though I knew about his family."

"Did you think the same way about me?"

"What?"

"When I first moved in…After we pulled our guns on each other, when we first met, you threatened to shoot me, remember?" Mike explains, smiling slightly at the strange memory. "When I said I didn't have a key? Did you assume I grew up the same way as her?"

He didn't expect to be immediately engulfed a tight hug by Charlie.

"I didn't know you…you know? I thought I was being loyal to Lauren, with Donny gone...I wanted to respect that," Charlie murmurs, laughing dryly right after. "All that's a joke now because of what she ended up doing for him. Not caring about anyone else. I understood it at the time-but later I couldn't respect her for it."

"I get it," Mike mumbles. He didn't take it much to heart at the time, although he was a little intimidated by Charlie. At the same time, he was curious about this fearless stranger who seemed to keep following him around and making him comfortable. This person observing him in calm adoration and respect. They got closer, sharing a strangely glowing chemistry as if they knew each other all their lives. It wasn't too different from what he had with Johnny. Their friendship too began in humor, boastfulness and casualness…but at an airport terminal of all places.

"I'm glad I didn't scare you away," Charlie offers, as she eases her strong hold around Mike's sides. She cups his face instead as she grins at him. "And I'm glad you came back for good."

"Me too," Mike agrees, with a small smile.

"You really didn't deserve that either," Charlie mumbles, shaking her head.

"I thought you were joking anyway," Mike answers, shrugging.

"No, I mean that thing with Bates-and that 'better Mike' crap," Charlie rattles on, patting Mike's cheek. "I know you hated him for being here-"

"I didn't hate him-"

Although…

Charlie gives him a 'sure you didn't' look before kissing him on the cheek.

"He wasn't the only one that should've left," Charlie says, brushing Mike's hair out of his face. "Paige and Briggs-"

"If they needed to leave, so did I," Mike interrupts. He holds Charlie's hands in his as he looks into her eyes intently. "For what happened to Lina. For how I treated everyone."

"You didn't kill her Mike. You lied…don't lie ever again about something like that. Why didn't you come to-"

She stopped, thinking for a moment before wiping her tears away. "We all went through a lot these past couple of months. You weren't the only one screwing up."

"So I wasn't an asshole?"

"No you were. You knew that and stopped Mikey. That's the difference. You know I can't handle people telling me what to do. You were still a kid-"

That's it, just a slap on the wrist? Mike couldn't believe it. He knew that Charlie babied him sometimes, but this took the cake.

"I had another dream of my Nonna again on the way back here last night," Charlie begins slowly. During their talks over the years, Mike had been privy to Charlie's dreams and vice versa. However, not since before Mike's detox weeks ago now, it's had been a long time since they talked about something like this.

"I keep having this image of my Nonna watching over us with him in her arms. She tells me she's disappointed I even set foot in that clinic, or went to Florida to deal with those racist redneck assholes and Amber's big mouth," Charlie affirms. She wipes her face and glances at Mike in determination. "She tells me I gotta catch Germaine and make him pay."

Mike nods, having no doubts that Charlie would succeed.

"I know you're busy with Gusti and your birds," Charlie retorts, as she watches Mike. "And her highness is probably-"

"Don't call her that," Mike remarks quietly, knowing instantly whom Charlie was referring to. It's automatic, but part of him feels ridiculous for saying anything. He tries on a constant basis to remind himself to forgive Paige for what she's done. She probably feels like the entire house turned against her.

Boy, did he know that feeling all too well.

"You still got a thing for her?" Charlie accuses, looking at him sadly. Her expression is soft, even though her tone sounds slightly angry. It's an expression he's used to seeing…very rarely on him. Nonetheless, it cuts him deep.

His mind wanders his first few weeks of his stay at Graceland, with Charlie trying to get Paige and himself to connect. He wasn't sure if she knew they'd get that far…But her assumption of them sleeping together seemed to solidify when he came back from D.C.

Did she regret pushing them together?

"No I don't…I don't think I ever really did," Mike laments, looking back at Charlie sternly. "She made a mistake back then. Like we all did."

"Did she admit what she did was wrong?" Charlie inquires, taking his nearby hand to hold. "Or are you admitting it for her? 'Cause when I talked to her, she told a different story. And something else was eating at her she wouldn't talk about."

Mike looks down again, as the heavy feeling of shame washes over him.

"Don't do that Mike," Charlie gently warns, tipping Mike's face up so that their eyes met. Mike could feel his eyes welling up with tears again.

He's never had this hard of a time talking to Charlie. Not since-

"It's not worth it. I tried doing the same thing with Briggs. Don't carry that weight-"

The way he saw Briggs treat them all pissed him off too. Especially the way he treated Charlie.

Mike knew that if he overloaded Charlie with his concerns for her all the time, she'd slowly distance herself. She'd appreciate it, but part of her would resent him. Such as the time when everyone found out Mike was spying on Briggs, or when he came back from D.C.

"-She told me she didn't care if you died or not in that hospital Mikey," Charlie whimpers. "She blames you for everything that happened-and that's out of line. Don't make excuses for her _._ "

Mike pauses to stare at another corner of the room. He had to remind himself yet again that Charlie is talking about something completely different from what he's talking about. Everything was already blurring together anyway-

Why couldn't he just come right out and say it?

If this was Charlie's reaction to part of what Paige did, Mike was extremely worried what she'd do when she'd find out the other half. He imagined Charlie and Johnny committing a serious felony if they ever found out what she did….Mike couldn't help but have second thoughts.

Things are silent again until Mike hears Charlie snort in satisfaction.

"You love him?" Charlie asks, smirking at the 'Long Live LBC' t-shirt Mike stole from Johnny before they took their hundred year nap.

"Yeah, I do," Mike replies, feeling his face break into a shy smile. Thinking about Johnny definitely made him feel a little better.

"I don't want you hurting each other again," Charlie says, serious again. "You got me? I don't want any of us hurting each other again like that."

Mike nods. That was the last thing he wanted to ever happen again.

"I won't. I plan to—"

"You're not planning on marrying him are you? You're both kids."

"I'm not…I just—marriage, really Charlie?" Mike scoffs, wondering why Charlie's thought process went there. They never talked about it...They were mostly stuck in the present. Mike narrows his eyes at her accusingly. "And we're not kids."

Charlie hugs him again, and Mike feels himself being pushed flat down as Charlie rests her head on his chest.

"I'm just tired of Paige and Paul's shit. I'm sick of them and their egos. I need a break from both of them. This house needs a break from both of them. What do you think? Just the four of us for awhile?" Charlie questions, leaning up to stare up at Mike.

It was a face looking for guidance-

They always looked at each other for such things-but this-

Just Charlie, Jakes, Johnny and _himself_?

Mike searches her eyes, wanting to believe he was only hearing Charlie's anger talking still. That this thought Charlie just expressed came from a darker place-a place she doesn't have to visit again since they talked things over.

But Mike couldn't even guide himself, how could he-

"Just say the word okay? You know I got your back," Charlie presses, holding him closer again. "Johnny's got yours too-you know that. Jakesy too."

Mike could just barely process any of Charlie's suggestion when the sound of Johnny exclaiming, "I knew it!" from the doorway stifle his thoughts.

" _Johnny!_ " Charlie anguishes, as she jumps before holding a hand over her chest. "What the hell is wrong with you?!"

"I see you Charlie. Looking to be a third wheel?" Johnny teases, as he walks over to the bed. Mike rolls his eyes, before settling them on Johnny's face. Something seems a little off, even though he was smiling down at them.

 

"Are you two okay?" Johnny asks, before kissing them both on their foreheads.

 

"Are _you_ okay?" Charlie asks, also picking up on Johnny's hidden something.

"Never better," Johnny grins. It's an almost strained smile. "What're you two up to? Besides setting up logistics of our new sleeping arrangements?"

"Ugh," Charlie groans, shoving him away lightly. "You wish. I don't even know how Mike can take your stink all the time. What makes you think I can?"

"What? Shut up, I always smell good," Johnny boasts, getting into the bed and settling in behind Mike. He kisses the top of Mike's head just as he was letting his arms curl around Mike's middle. "Right Mikey?"

Mike laughs lightly until he feels Johnny's holding him too tight. It's as if he expects him to fly away out the window or escape from him like a wounded pet.

"Johnny, could you-"Mike breathes, making attempts to loosen up Johnny's fingers from around him.

"Let him _breathe_ Johnny—"

" _Stop_ , let me hold you," Johnny whines, but he loosens his grip a bit anyway.

What was up with him?

"Where were you?"

"After you snatched Mike away from me you mean?"

Charlie just stares at him and blinks slowly in irritation.

"Jakesy! C'mere honey," she calls out right after. Mike caught a slight glimpse of someone passing by his door. Sure enough, it's Jakes staring distractedly at his phone while entering the room now.

"We just need Paige now then," Mike says, staring at Jakes expectantly. "And Briggs." Speaking of which, Mike hadn't heard a peep from their fearless leader yet. Then again he's been busy with Johnny and Charlie since he woke up.

"For what?" Charlie snaps.

He's not surprised by her attitude.

"Yeah, I mean maybe she's cool where she's at," Johnny offers, pressing his cheek to Mike's. "Briggs too."

Mike's much more confused by that comment though. He shouldn't be-but he thought they'd been getting along-

Moreover—

He detected an attitude didn't he? Mike wants reminds himself to ask Johnny about it later but chooses to focus on the task at hand.

"Jakes called a house meeting earlier," Mike answers, looking back at Jakes who in turn watches him in confusion. "You needed to tell us something right?"

"No I don't," Jakes confirms. "Briggs called it."

Charlie groans and rolls her eyes in Mike's direction as if to say, 'see what I mean?'

"Classic Briggs," Johnny huffs, shaking his head. "What was it supposed to be about anyway?"

"I don't know. He just texted me to tell me to call it and that he'd be here. But-"Jakes draws on, as he presses into his phone. "He's not gonna make it."

"Did he say where he was?" Mike asks, cursing himself for not keeping better tabs on Briggs. He'd been acting more elusive than usual lately. Mike couldn't help but feel something was up, even though he appreciated Briggs' help with the birds search and his detoxing. It seems almost ungrateful to question where he could be.

This was strange though. It seemed somewhat calculated to call a meeting and have no intention of showing up for it....Did Briggs ever intend to show up?

"I just said he's not gonna be here…I never said I knew where he was. Do I look like his father?"

"Yeah but-"

"Dude, you did say you were our wet nurse though-?"

"I need the three of you for something," Charlie blurts out over their discussion. It makes Mike slightly nervous. He hopes she isn't going to ask, what he thinks she's going to ask. "Just the four of us for something."

"The four of us? Thought _we_ had to work on Germaine?" Jakes surmises, raising an eyebrow at Charlie. "Like right now?"

Of course Jakes wouldn't go for this either. Sure he trusted Charlie. But Mike knew when Jakes' spidey senses went off at the sound of something so random and fishy.

"After Germaine I mean. And that Gusti thing you've got going on," Charlie smoothly throws in Mike's direction. Mike can't help but be slightly impressed with how she's acting as if they didn't even talk about this earlier. "And Johnny's not doing anything as usual-"

"Hey! I'm helping Mike and Briggs with backup!" Johnny clarifies defensively. Even though he's seated behind him, Mike can tell he's sticking his bottom lip out in contempt. "On the Ari thing...Paige too."

"Listen, just keep your schedules open—and to _yourself._ "

"We planning a surprise party or something?"

"No, just keep your schedules open after," Charlie advises, as she stands up away from Mike's bed. "That's all." She yawns, which reminds Mike that she's been up for double digit hours after returning from Florida. Hopefully she's going to sleep away the ' _it's just going to be the four of us for while_ ' plot she wants brewing.

 

Mike stares up at her, hoping to communicate how unnecessary and messed up this deep freeze plan of hers was going to be.

 

 _Please_ , he begs with his eyes. _We all need to work together._

 

Charlie only stares back, unwavering and steadfast.

 

As what Mike feared; she leaves with Jakes on her heels, taking with her the last shred of patience she apparently had with two semi absent members of Graceland.


	29. Chapter 29

" _Lovers_?"

"That's right."

"Are you telling me you came all the way here today, just to tell me you're worried that your agents would be distracted from their work because of an office…romance?"

"It's crossed my mind once or twice since their relationship started."

"What exactly are you trying to do here? Besides continuing to waste my time?

"One of them recently shutdown one of the biggest drug kingpin families in California and Mexico. While the other took down Bello not too long ago. You remember, one of the baddest Nigerian gun traders? Our streets are safer because of them. They both do good work. Their relationship is in a way, in the way already now."

"Out with it."

"What I mean is, that I've been calling him and he hasn't picked up. I'm guessing it's the same reason he hasn't been here to see you yet or answered your calls."

"Maybe you should go back to Graceland and question your subordinates instead of using me as your personal diary."

"Sir, with all due respect, my team comes first before me being your Sin Eater. Just letting you know. In case something happens…We'll both know why."

"Anything else?"

"No sir. I'll be seeing you. Enjoy your... vacation?"

"The next time I see you it better be when you're telling me that we've got Ari on everything a week from now. And as for Agent Warren, you tell him I'd better see him in my office next week. Bright and early."

"You got it sir."

"-With an explanation as to what was so important that hasn't been returning my calls. Someone as uptight as he is can't be letting some office fling get in the way of his work."

"I've just been taking some time catching up with Ari at a hotel. He's been real paranoid lately since the thing with Colby and finding out other members of my team were undercover. But don't worry."

"Oh, I'm not worried. The only emotion I have right now is annoyed, which I expect to turn into being pissed off soon the longer you and Agent Warren and apparently Agent Tuturro, whoever he is, wasting my time."

"Will do," Briggs answers, while nodding a goodbye. As he rises from his seat he makes sure to keep the back handed compliment in his head at bay. He saunters out of Logan's office, passing by strangers and old acquaintances while making his way to the parking lot with many different things weighing on his mind.

It was unfortunate that he had to bring up Mike and Johnny being together to Logan. On the other hand, it was very necessary in terms of being a placeholder. Even with that in mind, Briggs did have to admit Mike was distracted via Johnny and vice-versa.

All of which led to Mike not answering his phone or even visiting the bureau by Logan's command. Mike going off the grid was definitely a hiccup in his plan.

Every piece Briggs had in mind of using wasn't going to work out in one particular way now. However, he had other cards to play.

Speaking of missed calls and texts, Briggs realizes that he's gotten several from Charlie. Now Mike as well. Briggs had been keeping in touch with Jakes, in order to keep everyone back at home from freaking out, as his eyes and ears. Even calling a house meeting. Of which was unknown to his housemates if he'd ever show up or not. Calling a meeting through Jakes was supposed to keep everyone else from casting suspicion on him.

Apparently, all of that was done in vain because just as Briggs checks his phone a flurry of missed calls and texts notifications from Charlie and Mike, just as he saunters over to his car.

He sighs, swiping over the notifications to find a different number.

He sighs in mild annoyance, swiping over the notifications to instead view his contact list. As Briggs jogs back to his car, a clear memory of Logan's license plate number flashes across his mind.


	30. Chapter 30

"You did this on purpose."

 

"Huh?"

 

"You wanted me on top of you like this. Which is why you took my phone...You planned this."

 

"I'm not _that_ evil a mastermind Mike. I know I look it but-"

 

Johnny tries his best not to laugh in Mike’s face at the moment. Or get too hot and bothered because of Mike pinning him to his bed. Or even how predatory the look in his eyes were.

Reacting in a semi-sexual way was pretty difficult to do considering how long it’s been since they’ve had sex. Perhaps it _was_ a subconscious thing that Johnny wanted Mike on top of him, but-

Initially Johnny thought it to be a good idea to play keep-away with Mike’s phone. Just to lighten the mood a little.  To take their minds off two of their roommates they cared about, Paige and Charlie, having some type of spat. And then Briggs had been gone awhile...not answering his phone of course.

Based on what Paige told Johnny a day or so ago, she was the victim of Charlie’s unprompted wrath. Johnny didn’t have the chance to talk to Charlie about it because she immediately went into a deep slumber as soon as she dragged Mike away from him, and their mini meeting. Then as soon as she woke up, off she went with Jakes to Florida again.

Evidently, while they were away doing their thing, Paige sneaking out the house without saying anything, Briggs MIA still...why not have a little fun by themselves?

That didn’t happen soon enough for Johnny.

He balked at the idea Mike threw at him of them cleaning up their rooms and the rest of the house. Mike didn’t take the hints and flirtations Johnny tossed at him seriously…That didn’t leave Johnny with much of a choice but to swipe Mike’s phone _while_ he was looking.

Just so he’d know of course.

Just like Johnny wanted, Mike ended up chasing him. Surprisingly, the chase led him into Mike’s room where Johnny tripped, which he swears Mike had a hand in— into his bed clutching Mike’s phone for dear life.

Mike wasn’t pinning him down too hard, but firm enough to make Johnny yelp in surprise.

“You enjoying yourself?” Johnny asks confidently. He tilts his head upwards to look Mike in the eye.

“It seems like you are more than I am,” Mike retorts, narrowing his eyes at Johnny. He finally reclaims his phone from Johnny’s hand, but continues towering over Johnny who lay beneath him. He leans down a bit, pressing eager kisses to Johnny’s neck and mouth.

Johnny moans under the warm kisses, which scramble his thoughts for a few short moments. When they break apart, one question inadvertently pops into his head.  

 “Have you ever kissed other dudes?" They both knew Johnny’s answer to this question. However, Johnny never got the chance to ask Mike about his past experiences…if he even had any.

 

"Where did that come from? And, no. I haven't kissed any other guy except for you.”

 

"Aww Mikey," he coos, reaching up to tousle Mike's hair. "I feel all special...Wait. Then how'd you know how to do it with a guy…when we slept together the first time?"

 

"I didn't really know what I was doing-"

 

"Pssh, sure didn't seem like it. Seemed like you knew _exactly_ what you were doing bro. What, were you just freestyling it?”

 

Mike is quiet for a moment while Johnny observes him, waiting for an answer.

 

"The reason I knew how to, was because of...porn."

 

"What?! You watched gay porno? _You_?"

 

" _Yes_ ," Mike says, under his breath. Johnny smirks at the irritated and yet embarrassed tone of his voice.

 

That explains a lot.

 

But wait-

 

Johnny squints at Mike again.

 

"Did you watch any right before we got together or while we were just friends?"

 

"What do you mean?" Mike asks, staring at Johnny wide eyed. "Okay, okay! Johnny, quit it."

Johnny ceases his poking into Mike’s ribs to let him continue. The grin of satisfaction on his face couldn’t be helped however. This whole conversation was highly hilarious but somehow very informative to Johnny. He didn’t want any stalling on Mike’s part.  

Mike starts again with, "It was while we were still friends. I was curious. Alright?"

 

"Okay, yeah. Look, I'm not trying to make you feel bad or anything. Just wondering," Johnny shrugs. He really couldn't see Mike watching gay porn. Or even porn in general for that matter.

However, Mike has always been the studious type. Always researching things before diving into them-

 

Yeah, that explains it.

 

"Okay, I get it."

 

" ’Cause it felt great-" Johnny compliments. He places a hand on Mike's back.

 

"Right.”

 

"Even though porn is kinda not real, but real at the same time-" Johnny mumbles, now leaning upwards towards Mike's ear. "—Sometimes it's not even better than the real thing."

 

"Sure, you could argue that. But what does it have to-"

 

"Not even close to reality sometimes-"

 

"Johnny, what are you getting at?"

 

"-You know?" Johnny continues, taking Mike's hands in his. He looks deeply into Mike's eyes, which in turn look back at his own in confusion.

“John, are you trying to-?”

“I miss being with you like this,” Johnny says, kissing Mike’s neck. He wants to try something new, having some faith that Mike would go for it based on the predicament they were in now.

“So do I,” Mike remarks. He makes a move to start undressing Johnny when Johnny pulls him further down on the bed. He watches Johnny with wide eyes as Johnny hovers over him.  “Johnny?”

 “I wanna…help you, okay? Let me Mikey,” Johnny whispers, gazing into Mike’s eyes. Mike stares back unblinkingly, in a way that makes Johnny see Mike’s also serious yet nervous. “It’s something different…like you wanted, right? Can we try it?”

“Try what?”

“Me being on top of you? Making you feel good while you lay here,” Johnny answers, watching Mike with determination and adoration on his face. It was an unusual thing to ask, since it’s always the other way around. Why not try something new after not being intimate for so long?

“Yeah…okay,” Mike murmurs distractedly, after a moment. “Just be…I want-“

“Shh,” Johnny stresses, taking Mike’s hand to bring to his mouth for kiss. He pulls Mike’s shirt off as he pushes him on the bed. “I’ll take care of you.”

 

~~~g-r-a-c-e-l-a-n-d~~~

 

 

“You alive?”  Johnny questions, after swarming a rain of kisses all over Mike’s face.

“Gimmie a minute," Mike croaks, still on his back with Johnny removing most of his weight from on top of him. Mike then lazily bats at Johnny's hand once he sees him about to lick his fingers. "John. _Don’t_. There's towels...in the drawers over there.”

 

Johnny happily kisses Mike’s forehead before untangling Mike’s legs from around his waist. He springs up from the bed soon after, just before padding over to the nearby dresser as Mike instructed.

He opens a few drawers until he stumbles upon a stack of neatly arranged towels in different colors within.

 

"Do you arrange your towels by the days of the week?" Johnny throws over his shoulder. He chuckles when Mike rolls his eyes.

 

" _No_."

 

"Just checking. Don’t wanna mess up any order you have here," Johnny teases, while gesturing towards the neatly folded towels in front of him. “Like, I’d grab a blue one meant for Tuesday or something when it’s Thursday.”

 

"John… just get the towel."

 

" _Okay_ , I’m just asking,” Johnny huffs good-naturedly. "And dude, you're supposed to be relaxed. Not ordering me around bro." Mike just blinks slowly as a response, moving around a bit in the bed. Johnny admires him from afar while wondering how their roles switched back again so quickly.

 

Johnny grabs the nearest towel and closes the drawer.  He dives back into the bed,  leaning over Mike as their bodies turn in direction of one another’s.

 

"And I am relaxed," Mike corrects. His voice sounds somewhat strained. He sighs when Johnny wipes him and himself down with towels.

 

"You good?" Johnny queries, after a moment of seeing Mike lying on the bed panting a bit. He thought Mike was still coming down from what they just finished doing...but he wasn't so sure.

 

"Mhm."

 

"So…how was it?" Johnny asks. His guy barely said anything about their little session here. This was a first time for both of them in a way. He grins as he questions, "Amazing right?"

 

"Yes," Mike begins, closing his eyes. "Better than hitting a wave just right," he finishes, once a slow smile spreads on his face.

 

Johnny nearly cackles, bending down to connect his lips with Mike’s. Afterwards, he drapes an arm around Mike's shoulders, loving the way Mike was looking at him with such serenity in those blue orbs of his.

 

For the next few minutes he and Mike exchanged small, gentle kisses on each other's fingers and then mouths.  Johnny in turn went from admiring Mike’s body appreciatively one moment to gazing in his eyes the next.

Johnny found himself using his hands to make light strokes to Mike's back, legs, and arms until finally massaging the back of his neck. He shushes Mike when he looks apprehensive for a moment. He solves the problem of Mike's shyness with more lip locks and smiles.

 

There is so much Johnny wants to say at the moment, but then again the silence was comfortable too. He loved the way Mike opened up to him. To allow him to take the lead while they slept together for once. To be so vulnerable and raw. It was amazing.

 

Mike closes his eyes, breathing deeply. Johnny suddenly feels a shiver run through Mike to himself.

"Mike?"

"Johnny, I think now we need to do something besides just sleeping in and-"

"-Screwing each other’s brains out?" Johnny finishes with a chuckle, applying firm pecks to Mike's shoulder.

"Yes. That," Mike answers, letting out a sigh of satisfaction. Johnny grins at his reaction. He could tell with each passing moment Mike was starting to lose his train of thought.

"Even though it's fun?" Johnny inquires, dropping the tone of his voice to an unbearably hypnotizing timbre. He feels Mike quiver once more through their contact and smirks.

“Ready for round two?”

Mike snorts in response and then winces when he tries to sit up.

Johnny furrows his eyebrows in concern.

He takes one of Mike’s hands in his as he relays, “Take it easy Mikey. We don't have to leave so soon."

"Actually I do. I was gonna shower before I leave-”

"Going where?"

"I'm going to Logan's office— finally. Then heading to Gusti’s to see if he and Madison are doing okay. I haven’t seen them in a while. Especially with Madison probably going through withdrawals again. I feel like I could help.”

Johnny nods in understanding while linking his fingers with Mike’s. He can't help but appreciate Mike's dedication and selflessness. Even if Mike kept other emotions hidden away from everyone else sometimes, these aspects of his personality were great to see after all that’s happened.

 

"You know what else you should do? Maybe bring Chuck with you," Johnny suggests, sitting up and enclosing his arms around Mike's waist once again. Mike immediately mirrors the motion.

 Peering now into Mike's face, Johnny could see the wheels turning in Mike's head as he thinks the suggestion over.

"That's not a bad idea. I'll ask her."

 

"Yeah. I mean, both of you know what Madison’s going through. It could help."

 

"I hope so. I just miss helping people and getting things done. Especially with the rest of you guys.”

 

"You're so sentimental Mikey," Johnny praises. He stares at Mike in surprise when Mike ogles him as a reply.

 

"I'm... What makes you think that I’m…?"

 

"Makes me think what?"

 

Johnny watches Mike in worry. Briefly wondering what made him self-conscious all of a sudden.

 

"That I'm sentimental?"

"You don't think you are?"

"No, I do. It's just that...I didn't think other people did," Mike confesses.

 

Johnny reaches up to pull Mike down, so that he sat next to himself on the edge of the bed.

"Of course you are! You wouldn't still be at Graceland if you weren't. Going to Hector's with me and hanging out. Or still hanging onto to this old ass bear here,” Johnny laughs, grabbing Mike's bear from the nearby night stand and holding it up for Mike to see. He kisses Mike on the cheek and smiles again just as Mike laughs with him. "As I was saying before I was rudely interrupted...You're a great dude. And I love you."

 

"Thank you,” Mike responds, reciprocating their earlier kiss. "Love you too. And sorry I-"

 

"What're you saying sorry for? _Stop_ ," Johnny whines, while shaking Mike gently by his shoulders. Hopefully the action will snap him out of being so loathsome about himself. "Want some company while you’re in the shower?"

 

"Sure. But do you care if anyone sees us?" Mike inquires, rubbing Johnny's back. “If someone comes home while we’re in there?”

 

Johnny thinks for a moment. "Everyone's seen me naked already. It don't matter to me."

 

"I don't mean...nevermind," Mike sighs, shaking his head fondly.

Johnny doesn't miss the blush spreading across Mike's cheeks. He feels his own face warm over while his heart swelling with happiness. All of which began to couple with the motions of not wanting to leave this room…but Mike was right. They've spent so much time at home now while the rest of the world was going on without them.

 

It almost felt as if they were on a honeymoon.

 

"What are you laughing about?" Mike queries, once Johnny lets out a loud snicker. Johnny bites his lip before shaking his head.

 

"Nothing man," Johnny sighs, getting up.

He hugs Mike tightly, as he nuzzles his face against Mike's neck. "Love you."

 

He hears Mike mumble the same through their tight embrace. He’s grateful that Mike meant it with all his heart as much as he did.

Johnny’s even more grateful for the time they spent together. Mike taking him back and working together on cases again. Eventually Charlie would make up with Paige, and Briggs comes back from wherever with plans that won’t get anyone else killed. All three did have the weird habit of not admitting fault sometimes.

Perhaps time apart, as Johnny thought earlier, would do Paige and Charlie both some good. And maybe it was best Briggs was away for a bit since not everyone in the house was that big of a fan of his these days still?

Further in the back of Johnny’s mind however, he knew the time to tell Mike about Sid had to be sooner rather than later.


End file.
